Archive Result

Soundfile 19941124GRJHNLLovCom1

Speaker Gelek Rinpoche

Location Netherlands

Topic Love and compassion

Transcriber Yvonne Rogers

Date 11 December 2021

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00:00:24 Thank you for very brief and yet nice introduction from Maria.

00:00:00 Dutch translation

00:00:42 On the point. Before we go and talk about compassion, the awakening of compassion. I am very happy to see this book tonight.

00:01:00 Dutch translation

00:01:06 One of the reasons why we are here together today and one of the men who has made this possible to have a very important, effective, dharma practice. Not as a dharma practice, as a practice, but a dharma practice as more affecting peoples daily life. Such a dharma is valuable in Nijmegen today and is the responsibility of the author of this book.

00:02:08 Dutch translation

00:02:28 A woman, a Dutch woman from the neighbourhood, a Dutch philosopher, a Dutch social person who are dedicated to social service, was roaming round in India for a number of years ago in the search of betterment of life for her as well as her fellow country people.

00:03:13 Dutch translation

00:03:24 She looked through political systems such as democracy, versus communism socialist versus spiritualism and all this, and she was looking for some better solution for herself and her country people.

00:03:53 Dutch translation

00:04:12 Her political view if I recall correctly, if I am wrong, ….unclear…Is more a socialistic view rather than capitalism or communism.

00:04:32 Dutch translation

00:04:38 And the brilliant person totally dedicated found a way to look at spiritual practice and in socialistic principle.

00:05:04 And she was a true socialist, not from the party politics point of view, more socialistic in social service is more or less like principles of the Boddhisatva …unclear…style.

00:05:26 Dutch translation

00:05:36 So I remember the time that she read the Boddhisatva …unclear…and she said that this is socialist principle.

00:05:53 For the benefit of the people by the people you do this and that and she read this as socialistic document.

So anyway it is very unfortunate that she is not with us today but it was she who brought me here first time, and I met a number of you, and it was all possible to have Jewel Heart here to have all of us here together, everyone together and it all goes back to that road.

00:06:48 So anyway she’s gone. But left her work. Something to look back. Something to serve. Something to make effective to one’s life. And she choose the subject of death and dying. It is in everybody’s life. No matter how much we act, how much we protect, but it is everybody has to go through this.

00:07:50 Whether you are a politician, spiritualistic, a healer, doctor, saviour of life, whatever may be, you’ve got to go through. And so, that is unfortunate or fortunately part of our life.

00:08:30 It is nice to remember when we have things in our hand and in our control. It is too late if we encounter that without control. So, I hope this book will serve good purpose. So it is here. I can read the Tibetan at the back.

00:09:21 Thankyou so much those people who worked so hard and brought them together and Jewel Heart members here and particularly …unclear names…people who worked hard particularly….unclear..names. So I am very happy to be putting that on the altar for a while.

00:09:59 OK and now also I am very happy to see a number of old friends around today. A lot of old friends and that is nice to see.

00:10:20 And also, ,,,Gelola unclear… here today. I met Gelola in India many years ago. He is from Austria- an Austrian, Heavy Metal hippy, type of guy I believe. I did not see him that way. I first saw him in Delhi and …unclear ..try to represent and bring a better service to the monks of …unclear…and great person Head Llama …unclear…was in hospital at that time. Gelola worked for …unclear… for a long time and was totally dedicated.

00:12:08 Dutch translation

00:12:19 Totally dedicated in the sense he was living there and not a penny he gets, and he may or may not be getting enough food, but really fighting for some betterment and trying to act like a doctor, trying to act like a minster, a journalist, I don’t know what else, he does everything.

00:13:06 Dutch translation

00:13:22 Introduced a magazine called Deloma. He did all sorts of things and of course very persistent. So much so that he will say this is the way and it should be done this way. And if someone else does something else he has to fight with it, and he will argue and he will fight. Very insistent, very persistent and we used to call him German Horse. I did not convey that message until later …unclear…and he does not know that yet.

00:14:49 So anyway, he has been very helpful for a great many people a lot and very good instrument, very wonderful things he did. And he is from the West and a Western Buddhist monk. And I thought it would be very good if he would be in the West and ensure the Western Buddhist monks are like this. Good way, not bad way.

00:15:28 Dutch translation

00:15:37 And of course you have a lot of difficulties, because Buddhist countries they respect Buddhist monks tremendously just because he is a monk. Just because he wears a robe, he becomes an object of reverence. And in the West the situation is different. But in the west people are very open minded, very intelligent and are looking forward and if it make sense and it will help, they will take it. And if it doesn’t make sense, they won’t take it. And if in long run it is very good for themselves, as well as for the people that will come in the future generations, and the Buddha dharma itself.

00:17:14 So I am very happy to see Gelola here today too, and so many others and if I keep on talking with each and every person about it then we won’t have compassion talk.

00:17:32 Dutch translation

00:17:35 So let’s switch on the compassion. The word compassion whether it is in English or whatever it is, is a very attractive word. So is the word love. It is attractive I believe it is two reasons. One reason is it connects inside with something. In other words it pushes some button which makes sense inside. And second reason is, it is a very juicy word.

00:18:57 Somehow people like to associate it with that. And I think these are the two reasons why it is a very, word which everybody likes. Let me elaborate a little more on the first one.

00:19:35 When we begin to look inside ourself as a human being, we encounter deeply insight, we connect with the basic human essence. I am using funny words because the technical I should have used is Buddha nature but that would be too technical. So I am trying to use basic human essence here.

00:20:38 In one hand, I don’t want to use the word Buddha nature, on the other I don’t want to use the Christian concept of soul. Because if I use that Gelola may get upset. Anyway (laughs) but I am just joking, don’t take it seriously.

00:21:17 So when you look deep inside and as basic human beings we do have compassion, good nature with ourselves deep down all the time, we do.

00:21:45 Because when we see people are suffering, doesn’t have to be human being, when we see people suffering in miserable condition, we feel from the heart. And that feeling is with everybody. Every human beings have that.

00:22:24 When I became a refugee from Tibet. Let me put that another way around. When I was kicked out of Tibetan country by the communist Chinese in 1959, and we landed in India, a hot country, unhealthy, a miserable place, and it is hopeless and there’s no hope, nothing, hope was no where. And all of a suddenly we see Refugee aid. It comes from the West, as being food, and beautiful Dutch cheese, and the woollen blankets, and cloth to wear, medicine – all of that.

00:23:53 And these people who were sending those things …unclear…and you don’t know us. But you have heard there are refugees coming and there is a problem and the Tibetans from a cold area have landed in India in a flat plain and we received it.

00:24:34 When I am at the point of the receiving end, it was very helpful. Sort of from no where and no body there did we know. And giving you food, medicine and me clothing to wear and trying to educate you, at least teach you how to keep yourself clean. So that is the indication that we have compassion. I am talking this from my personal experience point of view, that happens all the time. Get it?

00:25:41 When I say it is a miserable hot place, I don’t mean India is miserable, when you have come from the Himalayas somewhere like 12,000 feet high, cold dry mountain and landed in the temperatures of 140 degrees. When you get there it is miserable to the individual, I don’t mean the country is miserable, please don’t misunderstand.

00:26:30 The people of India are also very kind and compassionate. They opened their door and shared their everything. India needed help help herself at that time, not like India today and they shared everything. That showed compassion with everybody.

00:27:08 Even we are sitting here today, and we see and hear what is happening in Bosnia. And where there are unnecessary killings going on, even the peace loving Dutch nation also goes in for a friend to join with the western reliance …unclear…. in to provide relief …unclear. But, that’s, I don’t know if the public like that of or not but that’s the indication there is a feeling.

00: 28:13 So then, then everybody talks about compassion, and everybody uses the word compassion. OK, you know what happened to me and I talk about it and I say compassion. And when I say compassion, I looked at people and I thought people understood and I leave it there.

00:28:40 Dutch translation

00:28:53 And that this year in February, I think this year, in February, in Ann Arbour, you remember Allen Ginsberg who came here, Allen the famous poet, American poet. Allen was doing fund raising for Jewel Heart in Ann Arbour in February. While he is reading he invited me on stage as we talked about it and started questioning funny things and he always asked me questions as he did here. And I said compassion and I saw the people in the front …unclear …but then Allan turned to me and said Rinpoche that is a buzzword.

00:29:53 Dutch translation

00:30:22 So I don’t know what buzzword means. There is about 4,200 people and some odd people watching in that hall. So I couldn’t say I didn't know what the word is, I thought I would smile a little bit. Then later I asked Allen what do you mean by buzzword. He said, buzzword means meaningless. Compassion meaningless? Doesn’t make sense to me. So I thought about it. I should say I meditated on it but did not, I thought about it. So I spent time on it when I am in the shower. I spent time on it when I am on the throne, not this throne, the other throne.

00:32:11 So, it is true it has become meaningless. You know why? You know the world has over exploded, so much so, from the right extreme, the Televangelists like those that come on the Television. A lot of right extremist Christian ministers who talk on the television in the public talks. And two, the left extreme, I use the extreme like people, like new agey gurus. From the right extreme of the Televangelists to the left extreme of the new agey gurus and everybody is using the compassion.

00:33:14 Dutch translation

00:33:23 So much so that compassion service, compassion business compassion that and compassion this, so the real essence, the real meaning of compassion is lost. OK what is lost? Not the word. Not so much the act. But the feelings.

00:33:58 The feelings the people …unclear .…the feelings within compassion. So everybody talks about compassion but really doesn’t feel it. So that’s why it has become a buzzword.

00:34:27 Dutch translation

00:34:33 And so for compassion, the question rises - what is compassion and what is love? I raised the same question to ….unclear ….Rinpoche, who is the senior tutor to his Holiness. …unclear….Gella La ….unclear….

So anyway I asked…unclear….what is compassion and what is love? ….unclear…Half joke and half truth teaching. So what he did is he took out his hankerchief out that he wipes his hands on and he showed me like this. This is love and he turned it around and this is compassion.

00:36:02 Dutch translation

00:36:19 And this is not the same. So, what he is really meaning here, is actually it is one hankerchief, which is the mind of our home and the 2 different aspects. So one aspect is this, and the other aspect is this.

00:36:57 OK now lets talk about what is this and what is that. So basically, when we talk about mind aspects, and we really have to think what is the focus on, and what the mind wanted, what the mind do, and how the mind affected the individual. Three aspects you have to see.

00:37:36 Dutch translation

00:37:52 So the compassion, what is the object of the compassion? Is people and the beings. And that including yourself. A lot of people exclude yourself and say compassion is looking outside. That doesn’t work very well. First and foremost you have to have compassion on yourself. If you don’t have compassion to yourself, you cannot have compassion to others. Period. If you do not have compassion to yourself you cannot have compassion to others. Period.

00:38:59 Likewise if you are incapable of loving yourself, you cannot love others. You get it? If you are not capable of giving love to yourself you cannot give love to the others, for sure. It is one of the social problems in the west, is based on this actually.

00:39:39 Anyway, that’s not my business, so lets go on compassion business. And so, it focussed to the beings and what does compassion see? Compassion would see how the pains affect the individual. How the individual is suffering by the pain, and that is the compassion sees. The pain can be mental, physical, emotional.

00:40:14 Dutch translation

00:40:26 You see the pain, you see the pain, and then you desire to help. Help in the sense the separation, the desire to separate the individual person and the pains that the person experiences. The separation.

00:40:51 Dutch translation

00:40:58 So what is compassion - compassion is focussed on people. And what does compassion sees. Compassion sees the pain of the people and what does the compassion wanted, compassion wants the separation of the pain and the people who are suffering. OK that you have to build on, and build on, and build on, until you have the pain in your heart. You have to build on. And then, if you don’t have the feeling, if you don’t touch the feeling within the deep inside you, then this becomes lip service.

00:41:56 Dutch translation

00:42:04 And in it to become reality you have to give the feeling within you. The early Tibetan masters give you an example like if the car runs over the dog and smashes the lower part of the dog’s body completely and yet nothing happens to the head or brain or upper body. With all this pain the dog still try to move the smashed body away from the road. When you see this how would you feel within you?

00:42:51 Dutch translation

00:43:08 And that feeling you get, in the pain you get heart, what can I do, how I can help that feeling, is the example of the compassion felt within the individual is the example of the feeling, not the word but the feeling. So that’s why from the beginning why I said compassion has to push your button. And it has to have a feeling. And then it is compassion. Otherwise it is not compassion, it is nice word exploitation.

00:44:18 So the real truth is, compassion you have to felt. The object of compassion, the aspects of the compassion, the desire of the compassion, the feeling within the individual, combination of that all together makes compassion.

00:44:43 Dutch translation

00:44:56 And that makes a not disconnected compassion, compassion really connected. So that’s it, so how do you do it. You have to see the problems the people face, you have to feel the pains that people go through, and you develop the desire to help them separate the pains and the individual. So then meditate. OK how long should I meditate how long should I do. Till you felt it. And when you felt it don’t leave it there, and bring it more and make it influence your life. Make it influence you daily life and then compassion oriented action comes in, and then it is the accumulation of merit. Actually if you can develop the compassion with the feeling, touch it, you are better off than saying multi million mantras.

00:46:37 Dutch translation

00:46:46 People like to meditate and say mantras and like to carry malas round. And then begin the compassion as lip service. Useless - no use for yourself and no use for others. OK, that is compassion. One aspect.

00:47:21 Dutch translation

00:47:25 The other aspects now. The other aspect is the love. One mind, one mind , one hankerchief. Looks different. Focus on people - same thing. What they see, joyful. Means free of pain. OK. What they wanted it always remain with them. And the word feeling, I’ll come back to that and will not say just now.

00:48:38 So what do you do. When everybody in the world says I love you, what do they mean. It means two things, either one of the two right. I want you to be happy, or I want to control you and make me happy. Right. That’s what the word I love you means either you get that message or this message. One of them you are getting.

00:49:23 Dutch translation

00:49:29 So when they say I want to control you and I want you to make me happy. Is the control issue and it is the possessiveness, and it is the sticky dirty aspects of the undesirable love anyway. That’s what it is. Which is not necessarily great. You have to get the message I want to control you. You know the antenna should turn to this message saying I want to control you rather than I love you.

00:50:35 Dutch translation

00:50:44 The other one the true love is, actually I want to see that you are happy, and that you are joyful.

00:51:04 So the Buddha’s love is, or the normal Western Christian message of God loves you, the real meaning is, that they wanted you to be happy. That’s not only the God and not only the Buddha, but to every individual as a human being. Whether it focussed to one human being or many. The word love or compassion is the mind which really desires to make the individual happy and to remain in the joyful state as much as possible.

00:51:51 Dutch translation

00:52:14 Now the question arises, you know the compassion and love goes together. Compassion part sees how can I separate the pain. The love part sees how I can make the people remain in that separating the pain but at the joyful level.

00:52:43 Dutch translation

00:52:57 Get it. Got the message correct? So now the desire to make the people happy and that you keep on meditating again. The first are deficient, in the sense that you created that aspect of the mind and you keep on meditating on that. After a little while it can become genuine. And then keep on meditating on that, and how long do you meditate?

But now I should come back to the feeling. And the feeling what you get, is if you are young people, young or old doesn’t matter. When the two people are falling in love, at the beginning stage, whatever you feel you cannot be separate and that feeling which we all experience and that is the feeling of love.

00:54:40 Dutch translation

00:54:48 So how long you meditate that? Until you get the result. What result do you get? There are three levels of result. The top level, if you look in the Buddha’s life just before Buddha became Buddha there was as attack on Buddha.

Last time when I was here, you did a movie called Little Buddha. Good or bad, in Little Buddha but one good aspect was when the Buddha was mediating all devils attacked the Buddha, the different weapons attacked the Buddha and the weapons became flowers. I thought that is the only good part in the movie.

So anyway so those things, when Buddha finally put his foot down and said I am not going to move until I become a total Buddha. that is the ultimate force where the Buddha was showing positive force. So ultimately likewise the negative forces will show their ultimate power. So first they manifest attraction, like touch, feeling, five senses, beauty this and that to try and draw the attraction.

00:57:21 Dutch translation

00:57:37 When that doesn’t work then evil forces get a little more angry and they are forced into the wrathful aspects starting throwing weapons and things like that. So from that side, they throwing a weapon. From here it doesn't become a weapon, it changes and becomes a flower. So the attack has become a change in the flower. Is the result of love. And people keep on sit and meditating love and that becomes reality and that’s what happens. So the best protection from anywhere is the protection of love. Not violence. Violence create violence. Compassion and love changes that violence into ornaments.

00:59:17 Dutch translation

00:59:25 And that is the best result of meditating love. The second level even you are not able to transform them into flowers but somehow they are unable to harm you. Will not be able to harm you. People get scared, they will not be able to aim at you and drop.

1:00:35 I think it was last year in our Jewel Heart winter retreat in Ann Arbour, Marianne was there, we had a friend from Malaysia, a Kung Fu guy. His job and profession is the chief executive of some big company anyway. But he is good Kung Fu guy. He demonstrated Kung Fu in our retreat.

01:01:43 At the end he sat down and he said normally I don’t do this and he said he would like to show you something. A thin small fellow and invited anyone to come up and hit me on the head. So what happened is, there was a guy and he raised his hand., and here is this Karate master from Ohio, a really huge guy.

So then he sat down and this guy hit him like this and I was a little scared. Both of them stopped. I was a little scared. He hit him with his whole force and the whole thing went boom and the whole force doesn’t hit him. One side and then his hand slid and gone to the other side. That’s what happened.

01:03:26 Dutch translation

01:04:05 He explained as though I walked on the river with a lot of rafts with sticky stuff and he said that what happened before he touched me. …unclear…..Whether that is the the result of a compassion meditation or …unclear.…Kung Fu or whatever but when I said …..unclear. And that was an example. So people come with all forces of ….but …unclear…that is the second level of unclear.

The third level, …unclear….not wound you. Get the picture not wound you.

01:06:06 I am sure a number of you know Ram Das, a new age guru and author of a number of books, Be Here now. A very good guy. He was professor at Harvard University before he was kicked out by Harvard. He and the …unclear. .the beginning of the experimenting on the psychedelic experimenters. Those of you in the ‘60s people know all this. So what Ram Das told me is he was experimenting with that drug, and so he took the trip but he calculated wrong. So he is Jewish by profession, no sorry by birth ( laughs.) So he has to go home to his family for the Jewish holiday around Jewish new year. So he got the date wrong….unclear…… So he started shaving and started cutting everywhere and then he went home driving car and he said the steering wheel looked like a snake. Somehow he managed to get home without any crash.

01:09:24 Then they had dinner. Then I forgot whether his sister or brother were cross with him. One of them anyway. Suddenly the arrows are coming out of the mouth. All these little arrows started coming out and he took each one of them and started putting them on the plate. That is due to the chemical effort, but true love when you develop you can do the same thing, rather than get wounded you can pick up the arrows and put them on your plate.

And thats what I meant, even if you cannot escape it, it cannot wound you.

01:11:09 That’s now finish the handkerchief business. That is love. That is compassion. It is within us. Whether you wake up or you don’t wake up- it is up to you. My job is to introduce. It is your job to wake up. Don’t sleep. Wake up. That’s what it is.

01:12:04 So now one more thing. Our love and our compassion at our level, what do we have now, is limited and conditioned.

1:12:37 The limitations and the conditions we have. Is not good. Not good. Buddha’s love or compassion or rather Boddhisatva’s Love and compassion is unlimited and unconditioned. The object is unlimited, and unconditioned. The wishings are unlimited and unconditioned. The feelings are unconditioned, unlimited.

01:13:42 So it is source of inspiration, it is a source of energy you get, and it helps you to complete your work. So, compassion is so important at the beginning, it is like the seed if you want to collect …unclear…it is like a seed. Compassion is so important during the working period it is like that of water and fertiliser.

Compassion is so important at the end, so that the Buddhas don’t go for lunch.

So you get the message Buddhas don't go for lunch.

That’s it. Any questions?

01:15:31 Question from audience…unclear

01:15:53 Answer - I don’t know. The seed is the problem. We used to say big heart, big heart does not mean your heart swollen and physically big, it is open minded. It has a lot of space, openness and it has room. You can see it, feel the suffering yet, you will not go crazy. If you go crazy, it is not open minded. It is not a big heart, you can’t cope it is the sign of limitation. It is not that, we all have it. But it is not good, it gives you the limitation. So work with that and get the limitations off. So the Buddha’s love is unlimited and unconditioned.

1:18:05 Question from audience…unclear long comment and question here.

1:23:25 Answer - we have the physical and the mental disability on our own body it is very hard to manage. When we don’t have that and it is easy to look at somebody and feel compassion and pity. But the feeling of pitiness on handicapped is uncalled for. Where they felt pity and the pity itself is looking down. It is not nice and there is nothing to refer to pity. It is by coincidence for every one of us, of having karma of being handicapped. Each one of us has karma of not being handicapped. It is the condition of the karma. So it is by chance it happens but every one of us has the possibility of that. There is no gap in between. So you have to acknowledge that to. OK so from his point of view, he is handicapped and how can he see the two different things, one aspect of the anger and the other aspect of the open mindedness which is great thing.

01:26:24 Anger of course. We all will have it. But yet you will be able to open it and open it and open it. It like the bee stinging compassion. It is the wonderful way.

01:27:00 In my opening, you can take advantage of that and try to give the compassion to others and provide a point of waking compassion for others too.

01:27:31 Anger of course, you have a right to be angry, truly. You have so much suffering you truly have right to be angry too. But, if I am in your condition I would not be able to manage to tell you the truth. It is not easy, it goes to all of us. But, anger will not help.

01:28:25 You know that. we all know that. So use that as a tool for open compassion for others and for yourself. And those who look at you as pity. In my opinion they are showing their own limitation. But whatever you are doing great, that’s all I can say.

01:29:16 Response - unclear - 5 years to deal with my frustration and anger. But that is the whole thing buddhism has opened the way to deal with all of this to give positive channel to integrate.

01:29:50 Rinpoche - I am glad it helped you and I will tell you later. You can do more than that too. I will tell you. For example, you can also say, by giving me this suffering it may exhaust all my bad karmas and possible to help others’ karmas, and you can even pray this.

01:31:06 That is one way of making best use of it. There are a lot of other ways too and taking this situation to your advantage. So I mean, we all have unfortunate incidents in one’s life, in any form. Form of mental, physical, family, partner handicap. Everybody has that. We all have that and this is samsara.

01:32:26 Question from audience - …unclear…are there any ideas about physical immortality after overcoming suffering. Never dying. Do you always have to die to be reborn in buddhism or is physical immortality possible ?

01:33:08 Answer - Buddhism or no buddhism everyone has to die. People talk about immortality. I am quite there are some immortalities, even today, there are 200 to 300 year olds in the Himalayas but i have not seen them.

ENDS