Archive Result

Soundfile 19980205GRBHLR

Speaker Gelek Rimpoche

Location Birmingham, MI

Topic Lam Rim

Transcriber Janet Bourgon

Date May 25, 2021

Sangha and friends, good evening to you. Okay, so welcome for this talk tonight. And you know it is continuation of that we are talking basic Tibetan Buddhism, and it is relevant to our life. And if I remember correctly, the last time when we are meeting here last Thursday before the last, and I sort of said basically we were going to talk three most important points [? 0:00:36.9] this next three Thursdays. Is that right, Kathy? Did I say that last time, right? So three most important things. So what shall that be? Basically I would like to bring, number one, I’m a very strong believer myself of practice, or religion’s practice. Whatever it may be, it’s effective to the individual. This is very strong belief that I have. It doesn’t matter whether you’re Judeo-Christian tradition or Hindu Muslim or Hindu Buddhist tradition, whatever it might be, any practice that we do should have very strong effective to the individual. Because after all, the religion’s path, spiritual path, whatever we call that, it is in order to help, in order to help our self and help others. So in order to help, it has to affect us. If doesn’t affect us, that’s not so much, that’s not so much. You know I really went from here at the beginning, it is practice is something to do with the mind development. And it is nothing to do with the materialistic or anything physical or even if superstitious or even all sorts of things, and so it is really effective to the mind of the individual. And when we talk about effective to the mind of individual, I’m talking about the individual being a better person, the goodness within each human being, making that better. That is the better for the human being rather than, I mean we all do, we all sort of think that we are spiritually somewhere, and something developed somewhere and we don’t know where we are. [Laughs]. Really, we don’t know, but we’d like to believe that we are somebody greater than what we are. So that’s not, that doesn’t serve the purpose.

0:03:03.3.

To me. It serve the purpose to me when we make ourselves be better. And where you going to measure the better and worse is the mind stream, our mind stream. Our mind stream is goodness, kindness, compassion. We are getting better. And our mind stream is totally building up pride, and anger or hatred, or jealousy, or, now I forgot. What else left there? Attachment, ignorance, yes, all of those. Thank you, Robert. So when you building that up we’re not helping ourselves, we’re not helping. So you know, who will know? Our self. Nobody else knows. Right? We can pretend anything, but that person, to be able to know inside the other person’s head is extremely difficult. But within yourself you know everything about you. Nobody else. So that’s how you look to yourself, whether you’re making progress or you’re not making progress. That’s what it is. Bottom line, I always like simple, grounded practice rather than sophisticated, I don’t know what’s really happening, you know? So simple grounded. That is the really way to help the individual. That’s my, I don’t think there’s any other way. I don’t mean there’s no blessing or miracle. I’m not talking about that. There may be blessings, yes, because we always pray for the blessings. There may be miracle. Yes, we always pray for miracle and they may be there. But what really make it practical, is it’s sort of taking yourself, the responsibility by yourself, and you make yourself better. And that is, I look then as grounded. So that’s that. So when you try to make, when you make yourself grounded, and when you really think you can do something for yourself, then the question comes, what? What could I do? Really, I talked here, where we begin earlier, remember? Like two Thursdays, right? Where do we begin? We already talked that, so don’t want to repeat. Repeat. But the main thing, the main thing what you have, is what’s the need of ours today? That is the main question. What is the need of ours today?

0:06:02.2.

Now what do we need? Ask our self, why do I need a spiritual practice? What for? If you ask that question to yourself, you will have all sorts of answers. Right? I want it because I like it. Or, I want it because I want improve myself. I want it because it’s become a passion. So I like to be the part of passion. So whatever the reason may be no no no no no no no no no no no, I want it because I like to find out what’s in there for me. Normal American thing, right? What’s in there for me? [Laughs]. So anyway, so all sorts of variety of reasons that you may come up, because I can’t say because it’s your own mind. So each and every individual who have a different reasons why do you need spiritual practice. And some may even say, I don’t need it. I don’t need it. So that also fine. Doesn’t matter. So what I been learned, and what has really been true for me, is the, I needed spiritual practice because I have a problem. I can’t get myself free from those negative emotions. I cannot get myself free from attachment. I cannot free myself from the control of hatred. I need spiritual practice because I cannot get myself out of even pride. All of those. That is the real reason. Because we have hatred, because we have attachment, because of that, we’re not happy. We have a lot of problem, and when we have a problem, we suffer. We don’t enjoy. We suffer. That is the simple reason why we need practice. I mean it’s a very valid reason. Because you know, anything that you got sick, you can take medicine. Right? Or go to healer and cured, even you have [? 0:08:45.2] migraine headache or something, they can adjust whatever you call this, [??? 0:08:50.3] adjust it and get better. So attachment and for hatred, no one can adjust inside. It is the mind level.

0:09:00.8.

No you can take any pills or injections, or cut it and remove it. You can’t do that. So as long as you have that, the pains caused by that constantly, continuously having difficult one after another, sometimes two, three, four, five, even 10 of them together. So to relieve ourselves from those pain, caused by, say attachment, which pretends to be bringing happiness to you, and if you measure how much good time that you give, and how much suffering you have, if you measure, it will go way up. The joyful time that you have will be very little and suffering that you have to go for that is huge, way huge. We always have that. Everywhere, whatever you do, we have that. And that is the problem we want to get rid of it. And we cannot get rid of our attachment by picking up or by surgery, by nothing. You cannot do that. It’s not possible. Even Buddha himself said, [Tibetan quote]. Buddha said, the Buddhas cannot wash away your negativities by water, by holy water, nor it can remove suffering by hand. And it’s not possible to transfer the Buddha’s development to another person. So it is only the truth that Buddha shares and individual follows. That is how it goes. That’s true. You know reason why? Because if we do not our self do it, we’re not going to get anything for the individual, because we are responsible to our self. And it is only I can make a difference to me, not you. Not a third person. I’m the responsible to me, and whatever I do, it make difference to me. So enlightenment is the result of the effort that individual put it in for the individual’s benefit. It’s not that somebody else do it for you. You cannot hire Buddha and try to do the [laughs] individual development. It won’t work. And if it works, all the Buddhas have done long time ago.

0:12:00.5.

Definitely not going to wait. So it won’t work. It is the only ourselves have to do it. Buddhas can bless. We can pray to cut our hatred, but as long as the individual doesn’t work, we keep on praying all the time and not going to be answered at all, because we are responsible to ourselves. So the urgent need of our self, the spiritual path is to get our self free from the pains that we don’t wanted to have it with us. Unfortunately, if you look at the people, if you look at the human help is you go people beings and any other people, wherever you look you’ll find lot of miserable misery and pain that people go through. Sometimes they get relieved a little bit here and there, then find something else comes up. Something else comes up. So it’s like a, the constant, continuous nagging, of nagging of the sufferings that we have. And that is the problem. And any spiritual path to help that, to relieve that, is a need of ours. Do you have any problem with that? So this is the truly need of today. That’s [? 0:14:03.9] people need it. There’s nobody else who doesn’t, who wants suffering. Do you? Maybe Saddam Hussein want it. Who knows. But he probably thinking he himself is saved anyway. Maybe. But there’s none, other than Saddam, who wants suffering. True. But even Saddam, he will not want suffering in case, if he know he’s going to, he’s personally going to be bombed, or going to be caught or 0:15:07.3killed. He won’t volunteer that either. So that is the reality. And of course there’s a tremendous amount of scientific help for our suffering. There is. For example, it’s warm in here. We can take our coat off, and we can take, you know we can sit here because the house is heated. Right?

0:15:07.3.

And that relieve the suffering of cold a little bit. Right? And there is a lot of scientific help like that, but that’s limited, particularly in the mental suffering that we go through. We can’t help it. Physical they help quite a lot. Actually, if you look at scientific developments, it’s a great help, tremendous good help. We have to really realize how important it has been developed. It’s great help. But they can only do for physical thing, they cannot do for mental thing. And most of the, our sufferings are coming from mental rather than physical. Even lot of those physical pains that we go through is the consequences of the mental suffering. Many of them. Many of them. So if you really look into this, it’s the all the mental sufferings that we have and the physical suffering caused by this, all of them is coming out of our own negativity, according to the Buddha. It’s our own negativity that cause the suffering. You know the suffering’s not God gifted. God doesn’t give you suffering. Suffering’s something that did not landed from the sky down without any cause, nor is it grown out from the [? 0:16:47.5] flow out there. It isn’t. It is the cause and effect. It has the dependent system. It has the interdependent relationship which builds that up. And where is all this interdependent functioning, where is happening? It is happening within our own mind stream. It in our own mind stream the anger gets up and anger makes you unhappy. And anger makes you hate somebody. When you hate somebody, they will hate you back, too, no matter how much you pretend that you are happy, ha, ha, ha. But that other person will know better than you do. Always like this. So they hate you back. The hatred will develop. It is give and take. It comes and goes. And attachment does the same thing. Makes, it deprive the joy and clarity of the mind has been robbed by those things. And those things also create you do something which you’re not supposed to be doing it. Your anger makes you hate somebody else.

0:18:03.6.

Why you have to hate anybody, anyway? The hatred is not great thing. Even it is stuck, even you just stuck with hatred, that’s not so bad. But that hatred make you react and counter react. Even you don’t hit the person, at least try to make you use your sharpest weapon. The sharpest weapon human beings have, very sharp, what could that be? [Audience answer] Tongue! There you go! Who said that? Tongue, you’re right. The tongue is the weapon that cut the other person’s heart into two pieces. Right? The physical hit is something, I mean it’s terrible, I want you didn’t do it. I’m not saying it’s good you know. It’s terrible. However you hit and they hit you back and you couple of times, then you stop. Right? But this sharp knife that we have, tongue, will never stop, and try to find the most sensitive button wherever it is. You know, search around like computer search, they do it. And then wherever they finding that sharpest, sensitive button, you keep on hitting it. Keep on hitting it. And that comes in form of attack, aggressive, and also I very often said this, this comes as passive aggressive. There are a lot of people, you know say, oh so and so is angry, shouting, yelling, screaming and crying, but I maintained cool. [Laughs]. And so he looks terrible; I look okay. You know? So it is passive aggressive. Actually you make the other person more angry because you won’t move. And you’re purposely doing it. That’s why it’s aggressive, not peaceful, not loving action, not you don’t have anger. You do, but you’re using passive aggressive as a method rather than truly caring, loving. It’s not. So these are our problems. Not only that, these problems create negative action. Even passive aggressive way of doing is negative action because it’s hurting somebody else. Probably we found that is the most sensitive button for that person, so you using that.

0:21:00.6.

Passive aggressive. So you hurting the other person, even that. So all other negative actions are hurting. The moment you hurting people, you creating negative karma. That is called negative karma. The negative karma doesn’t have to be some kind of strange thing that you, you know, in order to develop negative karma you don’t have to wear horns and run around with a funny dress. You may not be able to do it even then, you know? [Laughs]. So but negative karmas we create because where we are and how we look like, and most looks like very gentle way in the most gentle manner, we create negative karma very strongly, because we hurt people. And negative karma brings negative result. We suffer no matter if just now you may maintain very cool state. However, in a few years you be paying for it, because we created the negative karma. So in other words, where the sufferings are coming from, the sufferings are coming from out of negative karma. It’s not somebody is giving to you. Not somebody is created. It doesn’t pop up, nor it showered down. It is we create it. Are you with me? We create it. So if you stop the negative karma creation, so even you have a little bit of suffering, it’s going to be finished off. It’s like a river valley project which has no river coming backwards. [0:23:00.1]. Whatever’s in there will go. Nothing more going to add up. When we talk about enlightenment, when we talk about the spiritual development, actually we’re looking for the exhaustion of finishing all the negative karma within us. And that is the main point. And if you keep on adding it up, and there will never be time to finishing because you keep on adding it up, and collect more interest. So really truly helping the individual to make it better, to make it pure, to make it perfect, is cutting down our negativities. And in order to cut down the negativities we have to recognize negativity, too. Really, I mean these are the most important points.

0:24:00.0.

We recognize the negativities. We recognize anger. We recognize attachment. We recognize jealousy. But if you don’t, you’ll deny. You’ll simply deny. I’m not angry, but… Normally you hear that all the time. I’m not angry, but blah, blah, blah. It is very common, usual. So denial. What does denial do? Cut the opportunity of working against that negativity. And people do it that all the time. Many of us all the time like to do it. I’m okay--I don’t want to go and see a doctor. Actually you may be afraid. In my case I may be afraid my sugar’s too high and he will say something else, so just don’t want go. And that’s my own thing, you know? And everybody has the same thing. Don’t want to know what’s wrong, so you don’t want to go to a doctor. It doesn’t let the doctor down, but what’s happening is we’re losing opportunity, either to correct or to reduce, or to develop, whatever. We’re losing that. Even for that point of view. And specially if you’re sick with some kind of chronic disease and you keep on denying that, then the chronic disease will eat you up. Right? So if you have cancer, you don’t want to say you have cancer, you’re denying having cancer, and then one day cancer will get you. It’s the same thing. You keep on denying anger, and then you never work with anger, and once you’re building the anger, it is so, you know these negativities have one big problem. One big problem, if you want to, if you let it go, [to someone in audience 0:26:07.7 you can come in and sit, whatever you want to do. Okay?]. One thing, if you let them come up once and if you let entertain a little bit, then they will come more and more and more. That’s what it is. That’s their nature. If you started recognizing and say hey get out of here, and if you have to struggle for a while, you may. But then you know it’s difficult to come back. And can’t come be because you started checking [0:26:41.0] and you started blocking that. And then if you can block for a while, then sometime you may be able to, somebody may come and knock at the door and you open the door and say, “Oh you. I haven’t seen you for a while. Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?”

0:27:00.7.

You could do that. That is all within our power if you like it. It is within our power. We can do it. We can only do it if you recognize and if you work with it. If you don’t, nothing going to happen. It’s the same old thing. The sun rises; Sun sets. The Monday comes; And Sunday comes. The month comes; Month goes. Month begins; Month goes. Month ends. Year comes; Year go. The same old thing. We get a little older physically and that’s about it. So when you want to help our self, helping through the mind stream. Where and how we are helping through the mind stream is actually looking very carefully within the mind stream, what kind of emotions that you’re having? What kind of, that type of emotions do what? And how would you like to handle that? Actually, way of learning how to handle the negative emotions is essence of the Buddha’s teaching. Officially I should say Four Noble Truths, and Eightfold Path, and blah, blah, blah. But the really truth, the real truth is how to handle these negative emotions. Spiritual development is nothing but the mind stream development. I don’t want to say mental development, because people will start by thinking it’s education or something. Right? The moment you say mental development becoming really educated or some kind of Johnny Cochran [? 0:29:12.9] type of lawyer. [Laughs]. Or Robert Shapiro or something. You know that type. People may get that idea, so it’s not. It is actually developing mind, recognizing negativities, and recognizing the positivities. And building the positivities and cutting the negativities. Actually, that’s what the main thing is. [Baby fussing, laughter 0:29:56.7 Rimpoche: You don’t have to run away. It’s okay.]

0:30:01.6.

So that’s why we normally call that seeking freedom. And to me the first step, people who are seeking spiritual path, actually, seeking freedom, freedom from our negative emotions. Why we need it? Because all our sufferings are coming from there. We don’t want sufferings. And that’s why it’s coming from there, so I need freedom from that. That makes sense, isn’t it? So that’s why I would like to talk about the freedom business here. And freedom is such a beautiful word which every Americans like it, because we’re very sort of big deal with the thing, you know? With freedom, you know? It’s a democracy, freedom and all these are big deal and very dear to our heart. And we’re only looking at the political freedom but we’re not looking at the mind freedom at all. The problem is we may have some limited political freedom. Compared with the Chinese Communists, we do have a great deal of freedom. Or even compared with Iraq, we have a great deal of freedom. Actually, if you compare with any country in the world, any country in the world for that matter, we have great freedom. We do. People may not appreciate. I’ve been born in Tibet, spent a lot of time in India, and any of all different parts of the world everywhere, and there is no such place like United States where you really have freedom. You don’t. I don’t know people in the United States appreciates or not. Many don’t, but it’s not. A friend of mine who is in New York Jewel Heart sangha member, and who is in Thailand at this moment, and she was telling me on telephone last night, said we cannot say anything against king or queen, not even a word. If you do so, then you get arrested. Even in Thailand. It’s not in communist China. It’s not in Arab or you know somewhere in Iran or [? 0:32:50.2]. It’s even in Thailand, they say. If you accused, if you say something bad against the king and queen, you get arrested.

0:33:03.1.

Yeah, I mean that’s supposed to be a democracy actually. Supposed to be a democratic country, Thailand, with a ruler. With a ruler you know, supposed to be almost look like England type of thing, but the kings and queens have much power so you cannot say anything against them. So great freedom we have. No other country in the world, we have such a freedom like us. We do. I mean we can say anything we want to against Clinton, nobody comes and gets you. We are over with the McCarthy period, right? The McCarthy thing, we are over with it. So do have freedom, tremendous... [Comment from audience 0:33:51.2 laughter]. Well, one thing you don’t have freedom if you have independent, what you call, independent what is the [? 0:34:08.8] style? Independent [??? 0:34:12.4 laughter]. They will search you all the way. Where did you go? With whom you talk to? And get each and every one of them, you know, keep on [subpoenaing? 0:34:23.9] them. Where did you go? Where were you at that time? What did he say? What did you hear? All these, what looks like you don’t have freedom at all in that. But otherwise we have the best freedom. Really. There’s a free country. But we don’t have mind free. We don’t have mental freedom. We do have tremendous mental agony, and we have tremendous amount of mental suffering, and we have tremendous amount of problem comes one after another, because of the the mental thing. Because of anger. Because of attachment. Because of hatred. Because of jealousy. And that is the major source of our mental problem. If you can show me one mental problem, show me one depression which is not caused by one of those negative emotions, well I can bet for it. You won’t find a single. Every negative there’s a depression that we have. Mental sufferings that what we have are caused by one of those negative emotions. That is Buddha’s discovery of a human, or even all beings, naturally how it works. And that’s why he said, I found a way out. I found a way out. The fourth Noble Truth, I found a way out. The way out is dealing with those cause of mental pains which is negative emotions.

0:36:10.0.

Which we really have a very strong, not only we are very strong with that, but we really been addicted to all of those. We’re very much addicted to hatred. We’re very much addicted to jealousy. We do. Because we don’t have to learn how to get jealous, do we? Do we send the kids to school, how to learn to get jealousy? You don’t! You don’t. It’s there, it’s by naturally it’s there. Why? Because we have been having this for life after life. I’m coming from the reincarnation background. I must preserve my job, so I have to accept the reincarnation. But that’s what it is. It’s coming life after life, so you don’t have to teach the kids how to get, how to develop attachment. We don’t. And they will do it even though you try to hide, right? The parents always try certain TV programs, television programs, you don’t want them see it. And they will also say the adult supervision, or something whatever, but they know better than you do. [Laughs]. All the time. All the time. And not only that, the parents watch helplessly the each children they’re going through with the same painful manner in which you went over with 20 years ago or something. We always watch that. So these doesn’t need learning. It’s there because we have the addiction of that. It’s already, it’s become automatic for us. And when we want to develop our self, we try to change that automatic [? 0:38:13.7], change in the opposite direction. And that’s why it’s hard and difficulty. It’s not impossible. You can do it. You could do it. You can do it. That’s what Buddha said, I discovered. Discovered how to handle those. How to handle attachment. How to handle anger. How to handle hatred. Handling, and then getting rid of it. Make yourself totally free of it. So the first step-- recognizing. Second step-- knowing how to handle it. Third step-- reducing the power.

0:39:00.7.

Fourth-- eliminate. And that, and that no only can help you. Very practical way. Only can help you. That’s the way how Buddha developed himself. That’s the way how the Tibetan spiritual tradition maintain in that way. It’s maintained for a thousand years in that manner. And if you do not cut down your negativities, no matter whatever you do, you know, what traditionally in Tibet teachers will tell us, if you sit and look in the air and roll your eye three times, nothing will happened. And the people do that, you know, sort of you know, try to be holy. So roll your eye three times around, nothing will happened. Nothing will happened. Because the same old mole will be there. Mole, you know this groundhog? So who saw the shadow the other day, right? They say six more weeks of winter. Okay? So when they went in, the same old mole comes out sending [? 0:40:16.3], after six months hiding under the ground, he come back and see the shadow, and goes back. [Laughs]. That’s the point. It’s no change. Doesn’t change the personality. Doesn’t change the mind stream of the individual. We don’t need physical change. Physical changes are automatic, even you don’t like it. You’ll be younger, you’ll be older the next day. Like it or not. Nobody whatever you do, you find your self older by day. Day by day. Week by week. Nothing you can do. At the most you can put up some extra makeup and that may cover for a little while. And then if some water drips somewhere, you have problem. One of the great [? 0:41:11.1], one of the teacher used to say, [Tibetan quote 0:41:13.1]. When somebody had little piece of glass, when you painted on that and make look like wish fulfilling jewel. I don’t know whether wish fulfilling jewel has some physical shape and color, but it must be traditional Hindu Buddhist mythological stories, you know? Somebody painted on a piece of glass, make it look like wish fulfilling jewel, but when it’s made, when it’s encounter with the water and it shows its true color. And that’s what it is. Even you put extra makeup and if you started crying, you will make big dam through. [Laughs]. So that’s what it is.

0:42:01.4.

Right? So you can do nothing. This physical change will go on and taking place anyway, but you have mental change. We have to work hard to make the mental change better way. If you don’t, the mental change can go backwards, can be worse. And when you have the worst mental change, you created more negativities, and making sure that we remain our self in the suffering for long time. The spiritual practice for me, spiritual practice, what would they do to cut down those sufferings, cause of those sufferings. It’s more important, cutting down the cause of suffering than suffering itself. The number of people normally tells me sometime, well it’s my karma. I’m working with my karma when you’re suffering. True, you’re working with your karma, but you don’t have to do that. That’s the hard way. That’s the hard way. You don’t have to do that. You can cut down your cause of the suffering down, and then it will not materialize. That’s important point. That’s important way. Cutting down the cause of suffering is the spiritual practice. And if you don’t cut down the cause of suffering and you suffer one thing, but you will create more sufferings. There’s no end to it. From the karmic point of view, let’s say if I kill somebody and then I get killed as consequences of that, we may think, you got killed, so I got killed and you got killed and fine. Like the Carla, what is it, what is her name, the woman who executed in Texas? Carla [? 0:44:23.5], right? Carla [? 0:44:23.5]. So some people think, yeah, she did that and she got to be killed. And we think, we’re presuming, a number of people are not happy they got killed, right? She got killed, number of people are not happy. A number of people may think, well, she deserved it. What she did created that action so she got to go. And she died, right? And then we thought, now it’s done. But for our, this is the ignorance we have. It’s not done. It’s begin. It beginned. If it beginned, we killed her for nothing.

0:45:00.4.

I mean, not for nothing. We killed her, so it’s created lot of negative karma, and a lot of people involved, lot of people are angry to either pro or against. And we created a lot of negativities with that. And the most difficult suffering what people have [0:45:29.2]blank tape[0:45:42.8] old thing, because you’re building in habit and you’re doing it. The killers would like to kill all the time. We have difficult to stop the killers who killing somebody because they in habit. [0:45:58.2]. They have addiction. The rapers will keep on raping. Until we catch the person we can’t stop them because that’s in habit. So this is our biggest problem is the continuation rather than, you know it doesn’t settle one way or another, though you lose your life for killing somebody. It is the karmic system, yes. But doesn’t end there. It begins there. That is the problem. And beside that, what would killing will do? I mean why? We are the only few country in the world who had capital punishment. So it is sad indeed. Why should we have capital punishment? Basically they say, well it’s a danger to the no him no him rsociety. Forget, lock them up.[Laughs]. Lock them up for the rest of life. And beside that, you know the human beings have some kind of thing called intelligentsia. And you observe the people and if the people’s getting okay you can let it go. If the people’s are getting not okay, you lock them up. People use them thing, we’re not missionaries, you know like machines that work. [0:47:37.9] I guess I was, I don’t know. It’s not good people get killed anyway, whether it’s the law or otherwise. You know, it’s not right. And people who loses is the really the most valuable, precious what that individual has, is you lose.

0:48:06.1.

Right? The loss is big, tremendous, huge. The [Jerry Falwell? 0:48:19.1] said last night, Carla [the attacker? 0:48:20.7] is in face with God, Jesus together or something. Face to face, sitting in face-to-face with Jesus. I don’t know, he knows, right? [Laughs]. I don’t know about that. If he is sitting with face-to-face Jesus, that’s fine. It’s not that [? 0:48:38.8]. But what really, what the point really is why people have to lose life? That’s not good. And we will also have including same negative problem by paying our tax, which will be using on that. We contribute to that, too. So basically killing is a negativity. Negativity. And particularly you know, killing a human being, can you imagine? It’s a terrible thing. The most horrible thing. Whatever it might be, whether it is somebody in the jail get killed by arms of law. You call it ‘arms of law’? Can we say that, right? Arms of law. Or somebody in the street. All of those. Basically killing a human being is not good. It is main negativity. So how do we gain a positivity of not killing? When we see the opportunity like that, Carla the Attacker type of thing, and we try not to get executed, and that is the positivity we gain. But can we be right all the time? No, we cannot be. We should not try to be righteous all the time either. So this is difficult in life when you have to make a choice between those things. But it’s very important. Extremely important because our mind is capable enough to collect enough negativities even by doing nothing. Just simply watching and giving approval or rejection by yourself, alone, in your own living room. Watching your own television, we could do that all the time. We do that.

0:51:01.9.

So it’s really the mind, the motivation, and the action, and satisfaction, all of them counts. If you have positive motivation, even sometimes you may have to do some negative actions, but if you have a positive motivation it helps to overcome the negativities, sometimes. Is a number of stories available throughout Buddha’s lifetime, all of those type of things. So the main thing, again, is watching our mind and that’s why the meditation is big deal. Big deal. And the really truly is not the meditation and watching your mind, but it’s not, you know sometimes people make you sit down and sit and think and meditate. And whatever thought comes up, [peel off, peel off, peel off??? 0:52:13.5]. Fine. You probably gain some stabilizing mind. And you probably gain some peeling off things. Negativity probably throwing off. But that alone is not going to change your natural, habitual pattern of raising the negative thoughts. So what makes it change? Look very carefully. Recognize the problems that follow by those negative emotions. Recognize the hatred that you develop after getting anger. Recognize what that hatred will do to you and to others. Seeing the problem, the faults what like hatred could develop. Look that carefully, and remember it. Remember it every opportunity where you begin to raise the hatred. You say, hey, this one is coming here. I’m not going to submit to you. If you want cup of tea, fine. You can come in and you have to leave now. I’m not going to submit to you. And when you be able to do that, you’re becoming somebody. You’re reaching somewhere. You’re getting somewhere. And that is the beginning of your spiritual development within you. Otherwise we normally look for something called spiritual development, we have no idea. We pretend to have something. Somebody else will say, you’re great. You think, I may be great. And you get nowhere. And that’s not spiritual development.

0:54:03.0.

I was in Los Angeles, I think a couple of months ago, when Dalai Lama was there giving teaching, and I saw a movie actor. And he’s sitting there and he doesn’t know what he’s doing and does not know what he supposed to do. And people told him, hey, your great and this and that. So that person thought, he is, must be somebody. And yet, doesn’t know what to do. And I was sorry for that person, is completely lost. Completely lost. Because people tells him, you are somebody. You are great and you are wonderful and you are big, big whatever. And he probably think, yes I am a big thing because everybody said I’m a big thing. So must be big one. So then I don’t know what to do. So you really find that among the people. And I’m sort of sorry there, four days, morning till evening same thing going on. [Laughs]. I was really feeling sorry for that person. And not person’s fault. The people who go around and say, hey, you’re great and you are something, you’re great, and probably think I am somebody. Right? And luckily for us in the traditional Tibetan teachings, well there’s so many teachings that comes out. And they will say, and like example, I can share with you example. When you look during the autumn, when you look in the field, right? When you look in the field where the wheat’s been growing, right? Or barley for Tibetans. So you see the stem of the barley, right? And then on top of that, what you call that, where you’re holding the barley bean? Husk. No, not husk. Stalk, right? Stalk, yeah, so where the barley all sit in together. So when there’s a lot of good barley or good wheat, the stalk’s normally down, not up. When the stalk is straight you know there’s not so many value in there at all [0:56:37.9]. Right? That is one example. They will even show you so which has more value, more wheat in there, this straight or up, or the bending one. Another one is [? 0:56:53.6] they will show you. So will that become green first or the value where there’s [? 0:57:00.8], which becomes green first during the spring.

0:57:03.5.

So all this try to tell us not to have pride. So if you have pride, you become a problem. You become a problem. It’s a problem for you. When there’s no pride, it’s fine. In that same period, same place, Richard Gere was there too, and I don’t see any problem for him. [Laughs]. Really. So that’s what happens. I’m just giving you that example. So pride is a big problem. On the other hand, in our usual American culture you people will say you need pride. Don’t we? We do, right? We need, we definitely need self respect. And we definitely need, what you call it, self-steam? Self esteem. You do need that, but you don’t need pride. Pride here is something that what you are not. You think you are. So in the spiritual field, it’s so easy to develop that pride because you think you are somebody. I am somebody. Right? I am somebody. Then you’re not become somebody. You’re not. And you have a lot of problem. So the pride is big problem. One shouldn’t have it. But you must have self esteem. You don’t go like completely I’m useless, hopeless, and the lowest of all. You don’t. I get a letter from Asia, a lot of them. [0:59:14.8] The most, the humblest or the lowest of all, you know, and yours truly, or something they write. I mean that is the, that is too extreme. But you think of somebody that you’re nothing, and you still think I am somebody. That is also wrong. And that creates a problem as good as hatred, as good as jealousy, as good as attachment, that pride can cause. Tremendous pain. That pride will, pride is actually weapon for you to protect your own ego. That’s what’s happening.

1:00:02.5.

Your own ego inside. You want to protect that in the form of pride, making all your mental capacity, mental faculties work for your ego. So I used to call that Queen Bee. You make all the bees work for. So all of them are pride makes you do that. So each one of them you have to recognize and acknowledge, and know who you are. No matter whatever they tell you, you say, mmm, yeah, yeah, whoo. You can say that because you know exactly what they’re trying to tell you. And in reality don’t let them have a free hand over you. When you have anger over your, anger had a few hand over you, you do all sorts of things you’re not supposed to do. No, you’re not happily doing it. You’re not voluntarily doing it. But you do it because you’re controlled by anger. Right? If you basically look all the killings, if you look, unless you are, what you call it [? 1:01:26.1] or something, some killing for money. That’s different issue. The most of the people get killed and all this are anger power. Anger power over your self, so people get killed. By the time when you realize it’s too late. That’s how anger harms you. That’s exactly how your pride harms you. That’s exactly how jealousy harms you. So just very recently, two days ago we on television some boy killed and some ex-girlfriend because the present girlfriend said, you have to prove it by killing her. Remember? That’s just last two, three days, some things happening there. So all of them is anger, pride, and jealousy does that. So it’s very hard to recognize. The habitual patterns is also very hard. Right? It’s really hard to be able to correct. Normally I don’t make that joke, but it might be out of place to make joke, you know, at the expenses of the president.

1:03:01.2.

When you had a problem with Jennifer Flower and you don’t need additional, what is that girl’s name? Paula Jones. [Laughs]. When you have enough problem with Jennifer plus Paula Jones, we don’t need Monica Lewinsky, right? So the habitual patterns, you know I don’t mean president did it, okay? But the point is, if there is no shadow, if there’s no form, there can’t be shadow. There must be something, some special whatever it might be. So we don’t need more than one, you know, one is not enough, you got two. Two is not enough, you got three. So which is the habitual pattern. Whatever it may be. I don’t mean keep on having sex with them. I don’t mean that. Whatever the where and how he’s functioning, some more people can tell that. You know either they can label it or make stories out of it. Or something’s really there, you know whatever it may be. Who knows? It’s only two persons know. Only two persons will know. Nobody else could know. Even you have butlers and secret agencies, secret agents and all of them. [Laughs]. But only two people going to know, no matter how many butlers you call in. Right? So that’s what it is. So the habitual pattern is such a thing. Even you know it’s already in trouble, and one is not enough, it gets more. A possibility, maybe nothing. But possibility of way he acts, affectionately way, or he cares. Who knows whatever it is? It is. But the same pattern is repeating so people can label it. And it is same patterns will always repeat with our self. Way we think, how we act, how we respond, it is always, always the same pattern you repeat. Even people who studying people, they study your habitual patterns. So they follow that. And then some, after a little while they know what you’re going to do, because you have the same habitual pattern of functioning. So that is our problem. We have to change that. That is the way we have to change. And that is the most hardest of all. In order to change that, you recognize. You recognize a problem, pass a resolution, say, I have to change. And way you change is the way you’re functioning.

1:06:04.4.

That’s where you have to change. Instead of getting angry, try to have compassion. It’s hard, impossible. But when you get used to it, it’s very much possible. Very much possible. Interviewed by a couple of weeks ago [1:06:42.0] from the Tricycle people. They’re asking question to me is, when you are angry, what would you do? When you hate somebody what would you do? And I’m trying to think as far as I remember and I don’t remember that I hate anybody. And I told her, I look, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but you should know what you’re doing. He said, we are not interested what is said in the teachings, what you should do. But I would like to know what did you do? And I’m try to think and I don’t have answer. And she got little shock and surprise. What about the Chinese when they kick you out of Tibet? I thought about it. I thought I was afraid when they kick me out. And I was afraid because I thought they may going to shoot me from right or left. That was my fear. I was only afraid they were going to shoot me here and there. Specially I had a terrible experience in that period. So every time I thought, they’re going to shoot me right and left, that’s only my fear, and I did not have hatred. Because people who are coming there, they’re soldiers, right? So they’ve been asked to shoot. What else can they do? I don’t know them. They don’t know me. Nothing. And the poor guys has to shoot and create more negativities because it’s the policy. So I really don’t have hatred for that at all. It sounds funny, but I believe that can happen with each and every one of us. No matter how much, whatever difficulties we may face, we will know it’s not the fault of the individual. We don’t have hatred. But I don’t mean you have to be positive, whether you call it Mr. Positive or Mdm. Positive, but you don’t have to be positive of that type. But understanding.

1:09:00.2.

And in reality, and that peoples also very much scared equally. It’s almost like bear. If you meet a bear in the forest, and the bear’s going to jump on you and you cannot go on there say [1:09:22.8], I mean you have to do something to protect yourself. But afterwards you cannot go and keep on saying, I hate bear. It won’t do it. Poor bear is animal, not [?1:09:33.4] nothing. That’s why it’s called animal, right? We will think the same way. Exactly same old manner with all these different people that you encounter which you hated. They have the same way. I’m not saying they’re animals, but they have the same difficulties. Almost like animal. So who you going to hate? And beside that, from the Buddhist point of view Buddha tells you, look all sentient being as your mother-being. Well it may be easier to hate mother [laughs] to so many people. You may be able to hate the beer by that way. Bear, I mean by that way. Not beer that you drink. Right? Bear. So actually when you look at carefully each and every beings that you dislike it, or disliking’s one thing, but hatred is very hard to get it, if you think. If you don’t think, you can do anything you want to. You can say anything you want to say. And you can suffer too. The problem is we don’t think. We begin to think very carefully. Why? What for? What have happened? What causes? What is the relation between me and that person? You going to find no solid reason. You’re not going to find, you’re going to find no solid reason. At most, he embarrassed me. Or he abused me. They are valid reason. However, whether he did it or his anger did it, it is something we have to think carefully. So if you really think that way, as I said the Chinese soldiers they may shoot me, but I’m not going to hate the Chinese soldiers because they are under order. It’s not they’re doing it. They’re like a machine, like answering machine with gun in hand. That’s what they shoot. That’s what it is.

1:12:00.0.

Nothing beyond that. So everybody, everybody who ever insults you, against you in face, but even then, that insulting to you, it’s done because of their own anger, or their own embarrassment, or their own jealousy. Not the person free of jealousy or anger will never do it. Now, to conclude what I’ve been talking so far. Do not look for spiritual path outside yourself, within you. Within you, that also within your mind stream. Within your mind stream, obstacles that you find is the negative emotions. Where and how you work with your spiritual path, try to change the habit from negative way, from negative to positive way. Then develop it further and so that you can be free of all the negative emotions and their consequences. And that is called solid spiritual development. Do not rely on some kind of thing called spiritual development which you don’t know anything about it and you think anything about it. And incidentally, I told Richard Gere at that [? 1:13:42.5], I told him, I’m very happy to see you’re very solid. And he said, thank you, Rimpoche. But that’s what it is. When you’re solidly developed, it’s different. And it sort of gives you very good example of, you know, conscious example there. And particularly when Dalai Lama’s giving teaching in Los Angeles, there’s a number of actors and actresses backed up every row after row. So you know I was just looking among them, and just give you two very different thing. So you have to be solid. The solid really means solid with your mental development. Solid with mental development means getting your mind free of all those negative emotions. And which you can do, and only you can do by thinking. I should say by meditation, but that is a buzzword. By thinking, by analyzing, by passing a resolution.

1:15:02.1.

And on top of that if you want to do meditation, say mantras and do prayers and do all this, great help. But the fundamental thing what you needed that. Once you have that, you’re grounded. You’re grounded. And if you don’t have that, no matter whatever you do, you’re flying. You can’t landed. You’re not grounded. You cannot remain up there all the time. You’ll crash. So that’s why I choose the first night talk about the freedom. And that’s that. I think I have to stop here. Oh, I should stop here. Any questions anybody?

Audience: A little bit earlier you gave four points. The first one was recognizing and the fourth was eliminating. What was the second and third?

Rimpoche: Oh, I forgot. I thought you’re taking notes there. Did anybody remember?

Audience: You said recognize. The second-- know how to handle it. Thirdly-- reduce the power of the negativity. And fourth-- eliminate.

Rimpoche: Very good. That’s because four steps came up in my head. That’s why I just said it. True. Does somebody, Carla, yeah.

Audience: Can you comment on self-hatred, and when we think, I get confused sometimes self-hatred or inverted pride [can’t hear 1:16:51.0], but also it’s a self cherishing. The whole subject of, rather than putting it out…

Rimpoche: I’m not very clear about inverted hatred. What does that mean, Kathy? Can you give me some examples?

Audience: I mean I can think of an example, but not [? 1:17:36.9]

Rimpoche: Okay.

Audience: [??? 1:17:44.8-1:18:05.4]

1:18:07.0

where they’re constantly critical of themselves when it’s actually they have an exaggerated sense of self that looks outside through their process of cutting themself down as low self-esteem, but actually it’s just a high sense of self that’s inverted pride, so that you appear to be to yourself low self-esteem, but actually you think so highly of yourself, you’re always cutting yourself down. Like you don’t live up to a full image of what you think you are, so you [value? 1:18:37.3] yourself for not living up to your perception.

Rimpoche: I’m sorry, I’m unable to answer today for that [?1:18:47.0]. Because somehow I didn’t get it.

Audience: It’s convoluted and it’s twisted, but I don’t maybe, if you can set that aside and comment on self-hatred. If you think that, how does it function?

Rimpoche: Self-hatred normally what I understand is the because I miss that opportunity. I didn’t do this. I should have done that. I didn’t do this. I didn’t do this. I blow it. I’m terrible, and all this. And even to look, how horrible I’m look. How fat I am, and how short I am, and terrible. And all this. And disliking your own physical appearance, disliking your mind stream, disliking yourself. And sort of undermining yourself to very extreme point of you’re hopeless and helpless. That’s what I’m look as self-hatred. And self-hatred can come in many variety of different forms: actually hating yourself, and also sometime it comes in the point of you wanted to protect yourself, so you use anger and fight with people. You comes up and immediately something started attacking you, you probably want to say 10 times more than the others before they open their mouth. Sort of you know, that’s also self, what you call it, self-deprecation. And that’s, it comes in both ways to extreme in the way of protecting, and to extreme in the way of really putting your down completely. In between that, I think you have a tremendous amount of range comes in different forms. So truly speaking, for me, all of those negative emotions are so much variety in there. When you really want to try to recognize, it’s very hard. It’s very hard.

1:21:09.2.

But then you know what you do, is if you’re really look carefully and seeing you mind is whether influenced by compassion or not. And if you find your every point you do, if you’re finding that influence by compassion and caring and love, then the chances of not being the negative is much better. As long as there’s no compassion and caring, whatever we do there’s a chances of negative moment is great, a lot. It is extremely difficult to recognize subtle difference between them. It’s also difficult to recognize not only this, attachment and anger. They both comes together and always one brings the other. And anger and hatred. The anger may be the temper tantrum business, when it’s further developed it may become hatred. But then you know if you look between hatred and attachment, it’s very hard to make it. So as jealousy and all of those. It’s really hard to recognize. That is the problem number one we face actually. Actually it’s problem number one, because hard to recognize. We know something’s wrong. We know that something’s not right, but we cannot put finger on it. That’s we go through that dilemma quite a lot. So here you probably say if it’s influenced by anger, hatred etc., we look them as negative. We’ll be better off. [1:22:55.1]. If we have things involved by the influence of compassion and love, we look them as positive because we’re better off with it. I’m sorry didn’t answer your question, but maybe we can talk more. Okay? Any other question? Not a difficult one like that. [Laughs].

Audience: [1:23:31.8- someone commenting about last answer, in support of Rimpoche.

1:24:00.3.

But I can’t hear/understand a lot of it. 1:25:48.5].

Rimpoche: Thank you so much. Thank you. It’s really true if you recognized, you know what really make difference when you recognize your anger and you will embarrass yourself a little bit. Really true. And that emotion, a lot of people hate that emotion. Embarrassing. But that emotion will protect you. Yeah, Jonas?

Audience: Can’t hear/understand. 1:26:34.0.

Rimpoche: Well if you can’t help yourself, you can’t help anybody else. That is the foundation. So that’s why, you know, it is so important to help yourself first and then you can help others. If you can’t help yourself, you can’t help others. It will be simply, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah won’t help you much. But if you can help yourself, or even you didn’t have 20 years ago, and if you have find solution what you should’ve done for 20 years ago and if you find now in [40? 1:27:11.1] years, that can help. That can help. Am I talk too much? Okay, so I’d like to thank you and we’ll be here again February 19, and then one more, right? March 5. February 19 and March 5. I’m sorry? I can’t hear you. What did you say? [Announcement about upcoming weekend.]