Archive Result

19990311GRNYC7P1

3/11/99

Shantideva's Bodhisattvachayavatara or The Bodhisattva's Way of Life will tell you about the exchange way of developing bodhi mind. Tsong Khapa, the great teacher who happened to be the founder of the yellow hat sect, which I follow, (I'm making my own propaganda,) combined these two together -- the seven and the exchange stage -- to become the eleven stages. We always joke -- 7 -11 open 24 hours!

I said Buddha had three -- maybe not -- Tsong Khapa came in 1357 and passed away in 1419 so Buddha is way before that , so put the two together to make the eleven stages. Whatever it might be, the way you develop bodhi mind in the exchange way and the tonglen, give and take practice, together is called lojong. It is qualified to be called lojong because if you just had seven stages, with the give and take, it doesn't become lojong.

So we are on the lojong level and also in the text, we're at the preliminaries which support dharma practice. Two or three Thursdays I've been talking about the preliminaries with you and I look at my schedule and that doesn't work very well. If I still keep on talking to you about the preliminaries, I'll be talking about them even after this May break. What did we talk about? We talked about embracing life, the importantness of it, how it is difficult to find and impermanence. We even touched a little bit about death and dying. We did not talk about suffering in general, particularly the lower realms, we did not talk about taking refuge, we did not talk about Samsara in general, and all of these are at the preliminary level, but if I keep talking to you at the preliminary level I'll be talking to you for very long time.

Also, by request, we decided to have a retreat here. The retreat is going to be at Wisdom House. I said it will be on the Three Principals, and since the preliminaries are the major part of the Three Principals, I'm putting them back to that day. I need to go to the actual practice, otherwise this is not going to work very well. I'll be still talking about preliminaries all the time. I don't think you like it, neither am I particularly keen to talk about preliminaries all the time.

The next line says, Training the Mind in the Path to Enlightenment. Actually, what are they talking about? Path to enlightenment? I told you a number of times the goal of the spiritual practice according to the Mahayana, or the Tibetan tradition, is to become a Buddha. Period. Normally people are very kind, you just sort of buy it, you know, say, "well, yeah, maybe that's the Tibetan way, I accept it" . Truly speaking, there is no reason why you have to accept it. The reason, you know, to gain freedom, is very relevant. We all like it and we all enjoy it and we understand. This is our language. Freedom. This is America, right? So we understand that. And there is no problem. But to become a Buddha, why? Big deal. But you people are very kind, to buy it that way. I'm going to leave it then, I'm not going to go into a big argument; otherwise I'm not going to be able to talk about what I wanted to today. What we want is the best of all, which is the love-compassion, and ultimate love-compassion -- unconditioned, unlimited love and compassion. Do you have a problem with that? Hopefully not. Unconditioned, unlimited love and compassion. Okay?

Unconditioned, unlimited means if you look in our love, we are conditioned. Conditioned means “what's in there for me?" The usual American mantra. That is a condition. Limitations like "well if it is my circle, my family, my friends, I can understand, if it is going beyond that, why me?" So this is the clear understanding that we have limitations. That's the condition we have, but we like it -- love and compassion -- we like it. But what Buddha really wants is unlimited, unconditioned love and compassion, not a conditioned love, not a limited love, not love with an agenda, you know, like it used to be.

When I was in India, the Indians always say "we don't like U. S. ads". I ask "why?" and they say "they pull strings." You know, we see the same thing they did in Indonesia with the world bank, They gave help, but with pulling strings. They give you a huge amount of money but its only meant to pay the loans that you took from us. That's the strings they pull. So that is conditioned again. That's not unlimited. That's limited. That's conditioned. Sure it helps, but it is conditioned help.

What Buddha wants is unlimited love and compassion. What does that mean? That means equal to everybody. Whether it is your friend, whether it is your enemy, whoever and whatever it might be. Equal. That's the most important thing. Equality. We know that is in American language right? This right and my right and your right and citizen's rights and all these are another big American mantra. So we understand that. Equality. That's what the Buddha is seeking. When the Buddha is talking about bodhimind, or ultimate love, unlimited , unconditioned love and compassion, he's talking about equality among all. Not only among the whites and the African Americans, but also the Asian Americans, Hispanics, and everyone. That's what is it's all about. So how do I, who is so used to caring for myself and my family and my life and my circle and my friends going to get to that great equanimity ? How am I going to get over there? That is the biggest question. So that's what I was talking about earlier -- the seven stage, exchange stage, 7 - 11, open twenty four hours.

Whether it's the seven stage or exchange stage or seven - eleven or whatever, what is the number one point? Equanimity. So now you heard "may all the sentient beings be free from aversion, hatred and attachment" - The Four Immeasurables, we call it. Buddhists make a big deal about the four immeasurables, right? Be free from the sufferings. Remain with joy and be free of attachment and aversion, which we call equal, right? That's one of the equanimities we're talking about there. Are we talking the same equanimity here? NO. We're talking about something different. That's why I wanted to tell you that --its different.

At the four immeasurables level, we are simply saying all beings are suffering together equally, so I want them to be free from the causes of suffering, free from attachment, free from aversion, remaining equal. We call it the praying form of meditating on equanimity which is not the current subject of the equanimity we are discussing. They call it the same thing --- you will find them in our prayers we say -- don't we have the four immeasurables in here? We do. So that little piece of paper we read here also has that. That equanimity is simply that all sentient beings have the same suffering in general in Samsara. The cause of that is attachment and hatred, so I pray for them to be free of that. That is the four immeasurable part of equanimity. That is different than what we are going to talk about. Okay? But I wanted introduce you to that so that you know it. That is number one.

Now, equanimity in the seven stages of the development of bodhi mind is also not what we are talking about here today. But I'd like to tell you about that. In other words, you need to know the difference. So its going to be a little tough subject tonight. I hope that everybody will keep a little focused. I'll try to make it brief and simple, but if I try to make it too brief you won't get it.

Now we are looking at number two-- one above the preliminary equanimity, that second level equanimity, okay? The first is praying form, we simply pray, that they become free of attachment and aversion, because that is causing suffering. That is out of the four immeasurables, that one. Leave it there, now.

Now we are dealing with number two equanimity. The number two equanimity is, that which is common with the Theradvadan practice, and has nothing specific with the Mahayana. That is one better than the prayer form. You actually try to stop the attachment and aversion. If you remember this teaching, we project three different people. One we label as "friend". One we label as "enemy". One we label as neutral or "couldn't care less person." So we project three different people in front of us and we then see how our mind reacts when we visualize the faces of those three different people. When we see one, our mind will say "Ah! I like that person. This is my friend." Why? Because he or she helped me, he or she was a companion to me, he or she did this for me. We give real simple reasons like that -- we like them. Then, we don't like the other one. "Oh he or she is my enemy. Harmed me. Did this. Did that. Attacked me." Those types of reasons you give. So that is the second one, and then we have the third person. "Oh well, I really don't care. He neither harmed me nor he did anything for me. If I can help him that's fine. If I can't help him I don't have to go out of my way because I don't owe him anything." That sort of attitude. Remember that meditation? So then we say the person who is my enemy today may not be a real enemy because that enemy may have helped me a number of times in my previous lives -- even in this life. They may be my enemy, but somehow in the next four, five, six, seven, maybe ten, fifteen twenty years or at the end of my life, they may become one of my best friends.

How do I know? Remember that meditation. Bring them to that level and try to make them equal -- the enemy , friend and neutral person. Begin at an equal level. That is the number two level of the equanimity. Equanimity which is valuable in the Theravadin teachings. I should say "common with the Theravadin practitioners." That's very brief. If I do it in detail than I will not be able to do what I am supposed to do today. That's why I'm doing it very briefly.

So those of you who know, you know. Those of you who don't know, you will know later. You’ll read . You’ll understand. You’ll find out. You know, Buddhism is not a simple little thing. It is not a simple mantra recitation , or a simple one or two or three sets of meditation. As much as our negative emotions are complicated, there is equally one answer for that. That's why it has so many levels, so many things, the layers go very deep. Even the equanimity alone -- here you are seeing almost four different levels going, right? So I'd like to stop talking about this -- the general equanimity common with the Theravadan. This should be enough -- or do you want a little more details on that? Nobody answers, so I hope people are hearing me. Good enough? Are you sure? But don't think that you understood that! Please, really, I mean it, its quite deep and not the way I just simply said it, you know. Its really quite deep.

What we are talking about here, equanimity, is the first step in Lojong. This is called Mahayana special equanimity. We don't simply pray to be free of it, we go one step beyond it, like changing our mind. Now we go even beyond that level. Not only will we stop the attachment and hatred, but also go beyond that and help to develop joy and happiness and a desire to free -- go out of our way to help all people, including the enemies, to be free of suffering. Start to care for the "couldn't care less people". I go beyond my limit of any reason of why I have to do it, and as long as he or she is a sentient being, it is my duty to go out and help. Freeing from suffering and remaining with joy is this particular equanimity.

One is praying, two is simply stopping attachment and hatred, third is not only stopping attachment and hatred, but going beyond that level and working for, bringing, and delivering the goods to all these beings. That is the bottom line. Can we do that? Not at this moment, because our mind is not trained. You know we will not bother if we do not know that person --even if we know the person. Because, you know – “I am more important than you so therefore I have to establish my needs first and then since you're my friend, you come second.” And, “ he or she, I don't even know who they are,” so it is the third and fourth level, right? That's exactly how we look at things. Now we are trying to change that. Is that going to be easy? No. It is not going to be easy. So what do we have to do? I have to train my mind. Give my mind training. How do I train my mind? By giving reasons, by giving arguments, by understanding and finally, by passing a resolution. By me, in my name, for me, to benefit all beings, I pass resolutions.

I'm not talking about all the seven point of mind training. I'm talking about the first base of mind training. The first important one -- equanimity. To reach this equanimity, it is recommended that I look at nine different reasons why I have to do that. This is coming directly from Buddha --nine different reasons, five resolutions will establish the equanimity that we are talking about here. Okay. Are we ready to get these nine different reasons? You know, this is the Tibetan Buddhist teaching tradition and people don't like it. That is, three of this and five of this and four of that -- they hate it. I used to hear that all the time. I hear it less these days.

Would you like to hear the traditional way or would you like to hear it a different way? I like the traditional way but I always try to give it to you a different way.

Traditionally, they'll tell you basically the two most important reasons are the relative reason and the absolute reason. The relative reason means in our usual life, our usual activities. Because of that reason. An absolute reason is when its from the absolute point of view, the absolute true point of view. That's what they call it. So basically two of those.

Under relative, that is, daily dealings, daily life, daily functioning -- under that you are going to have three different reasons. That will be (1) because of my own reasons,(2) because of others, and (3) because others come first and because of me. Why should I do that? Because of others, because of me. Because of me -- oh, I'm sorry -- because of others, and under that, there is three different reasons. This is the traditional way -- that's what you wanted! You chose the traditional way, so that's what it is. Okay. I'll let you change you're mind -- that (traditional way) would be too complicated.

Well, in our daily life, from the point of view of the individual -- I'm looking in my life, and I always want to be happy. I want to be joyful. Also, we are looking for other people that we are to deal with every day or occasionally for that person to be cheerful and happy. We don't want the person to say "oh this is wrong and that is wrong, my head aches, my ass aches, my bag is gone" -- we don't want to deal with that. We always want it to be happy and joyful.

Whatever I want, I want to be happy and I want to be joyful. I want it to be bright and this and that. There is such a desire to be happy, to be bright, and to be up. Not only during my waking state but even during my dream state, too. Right or wrong? I do. You all do. We all want to be happy. We don't want terrifying dreams. We want to have happy dreams. We don't want miserable dreams even though we get them all the time. But we don't want it. We want to be happy. That is the way we are. So when you start looking at the people on your right hand side, he or she wants the same thing. When you look at the people on your left hand side, he or she wants the same thing, and when you look at the people sitting across from you, he or she wants the same thing. When you look at the people at the other end of the telephone, he or she wants the same thing. And wherever, whenever we look at anybody, he or she wants the same thing, that I want. Even if you look at those little mice, even when you look at the little cat, the dog, the cockroach. Each and every one of those living creatures want the same thing that I want. Am I right or wrong? Thank you.

Question: ( Inaudible)

Rinpoche: Relative adult what?

So what I want and what they want no matter who ever they may be, any creature, even a monster, they all want happiness. They want to be happy. They don't want pain. They don't want suffering. They scream when they have pain. They jump when they have pain. No matter how big the monster may be. Think about it, think about the tigers, the leopards, all of them, when they are shot they jump at you. Right? Interesting. Even little ants. Look how much they run around when you begin to spray. They can't help it. So, from that point of view, I cannot and should not and will not make a distinction. I cannot accept some and reject some. Cannot. Should not, and will not. That's what you call it -- relative others - one. Thank you for helping me.

Relative others - two, now. If we see this as the traditional Tibetan teacher's teaching, suddenly we see ten beggars pop up in the middle of the road. Some are missing hands, some are missing legs, some have hands twisted -- in India, you find all these kinds of beggars -- little kids with twisted arms and legs. They steal the kids and then they twist their arms and legs for begging purposes -- that's what we see in India, a lot of them, just because they want to make them into beggars. So all of a sudden you encounter with ten equally disabled, young kids begging in front of you, certainly, you cannot, if you are in your right mind, make a distinction among them. You do not want to be good to one of them or five of them and want to be bad to five others. From their conditioned point of view, they're handicapped, helpless and they're kids. They don't have education, they don't have homes, they don't have food to eat. They are all at the same level.

If you have ten rupees, you take the ten rupees and give one to each and if you have only five rupees you take that five and give fifty cents each rather than give all five to one and chase the other nine out. So, from their point of view they're equally poor, weak, handicapped, helpless, seeking your help. We happen to be in the better position in this life at this moment -- believe me, whatever good life we have today is by chance. Its not a permanent fixture for us, it may last until the end of our life. If your life is a happy, good one, then you are fortunate, you are lucky to have that. But that's not going to be permanent. Its going to change. If you are unhappy with your life, that's also going to change for sure. As a matter of fact, I guarantee you its going to change. Whatever it may be. Everything is going to change. What am I talking?

Okay. Relative others -two. Thank you. So its going to change. So I happen to be there in a better position. I happen to be there as a server or giver. An actor of generosity, it happens to be my action, its my turn, it happens to fall on me in that moment. So how can I make a distinction between those ten little kids? That is relative other, two.

Now I give you ten kids. You may only think ten kids. But if you really look at all sentient beings we are all the same as all these ten kids. From any angle you look, you'll find we're the same as those ten kids --each and every one of us, from our suffering point of view. We may be better off because we are American. We may be better off financially. But we might not be better off mentally than those ten little Indian boys. Ten little Indian boys! (Laughs.) We have a song there, right? I don't mean the Native American Indians. I mean, I am used to Indian Indians, so, ten little Indians. Whatever help I can give to these ten I have to give the same thing. I cannot make distinctions, if it is in my power, right?

Likewise the third point. Relative others --three. Now you are looking at sick people, dying people, people who are on their last, say, the eleventh hour. All of them not known to you. Say there are three or four of them, all in the eleventh hour. A weak, sick, difficult period, so you cannot make a distinction between or among them. Whatever you have to help or do or give or serve is whatever you can do equally. You cannot make a distinction among them. If you do, it is showing your own faults. The situation doesn't call for it. Right or wrong? Well, if one of them happens to be your own child or your own family then there's a reason for you. All four sick people who are on the eleventh hour of dying, you happen to be there, you don't know any one of them, not even as friends. In that case you cannot bring near and dear and, what do you call it? That which really means thinking someone is close and someone is distant. Aversion and attachment -- you cannot bring at that level and at that moment under that situation. If you do so, it is showing your own quality. That's what I'm talking about. Right or wrong? Are you thinking? Are you with me? At all? Raymond? Are you? Well you half heard through, I can see it. That's okay. It doesn't matter. But this is how you train your mind, how you can bring it to that level. So if you are in that condition, at that level and that point, you cannot say "I wish this one will get better and I wish that one will die." You can't do that. You will not be able to do it. If you do so, you're wrong.

Question: So, Rinpoche, is this like saying, the first one is like saying equal beings are equally deserving of compassion because they equally deserve to be happy..

Rinpoche: Equally want to be happy and deserve to be happy.

Question: Then second one because they all equally suffer...

Rinpoche: Equally suffering.

Question: And equally in death...

Rinpoche: That's right. And this one is the same thing.

So that is easy for us to understand, right? There are four people dying which you don't know, you don't want to wish for somebody to die and somebody to live. You can't make that distinction -- that's not right. You don't have a right to do that. Likewise, all sentient beings are the same. Now, this is the main point -- all sentient beings are all almost alike, on the verge of falling into impermanence. Every sentient being is at the verge of falling into impermanence. It's natural, we are bound to fall. Bound to get destroyed. So, when somebody's going, you cannot really say "I wish this one better and that one worse." Its the same as "I wish this person would die and that person would live." We cannot make that choice. These are the three reasons. Three reasons under other, under, relative.

Now these reasons you will see, go deeper and deeper. The equanimity will bring it that way. From the point of view of the people who you want to make equal, from their point of view, there is no reason for me to be distant, and what do you call that? Close and distant. I cannot do it because of these three reasons. Are you with me? Did you get it? Three reasons under other's point of view in the relative every day life. Okay?

Now I have to give you still under every day life point of view, not others, but me. From my own point of view. Today I'm seeing some people as my enemy and some people as my friend. It is, actually, a delusion in my mind, its not right. From the longer point of view, from the reincarnation point of view, today's enemy might have been the most important friend in my previous life. And I told you earlier also, same thing, even at this moment it may look like an enemy, but down the road, in ten years, or even five years, it may become one of your closest friends, and as long as I remain in Samsara, taking rebirth continuously, they have to be one of my best friends, and not only that, I may have to be depending on them for my life. They are bound to be, no question. That's the number one reason, from my own point of view.

They simply did something slightly here and there and making me enemy and friend and all this. Big difference. Big enemy. Big friend. May not be that big a difference, actually. It may be that some slight thing happened. Actually what does it take for us to change the friend into the enemy? A simple, single statement. One single word will change everything. If you said the wrong thing at the wrong time, that will do it. No matter how close the friend might be. Just a single little word will change everything. How many times do we see, brothers and sisters fighting each other and really trying to get at the throat of each other? How many law suits are there? How many of them? Brother, sister. May even be twins. Born together and landed into the same condition. So many we see. So the labeling of “big enemy” and “big friend” is a big delusion. It happens to be at that moment at that level, to that person. This thing. That thing. But in reality, it is a matter of one sentence. If you said the wrong word at the wrong moment, that will do it. In our daily life, that's what it is. In deep reality, from my own point of view, it is a very strange thing. This thing called enemy and friend and all of those. Near and dear and supporting and against and all of those -- we change them so much.

I'm making a big deal called “enemy” and “friend”, and that's wrong. Not only that -- though we say we would like to become a Buddha, to develop ourselves for the benefit of all beings, who is really benefiting? Me. The practitioner. Because of those sentient beings, their kindness, and their work, we develop. If you don't have those sentient beings there, who are you going to gain compassion for? Even basic compassion. I've been able to develop compassion because of those suffering people. I've been able to develop equanimity because of those people. That's their kindness. Though we say "for the benefit of all sentient beings" but the benefit is for me. I've been benefited because of those sentient beings. So from their point of view, I cannot make a big distinction between enemy and friend. That's my number one point.

Number two. If you say that's true, yeah, that's true, but they also harm me, they also hurt me, they did a number of things against me, they cheated me, they lied to me, Hillary can say that (laughs,) if she wants to, if she doesn't want to, we can't force her to say it. You know? Yeah, they hurt me, they did this, they did that. And we can have so many things to count. They did this. They did that. To each and every person, we can label them. We can say "this one did that. That one did this. This one did that." We can label them. It is true, relatively, they did those things. But the time and period that they hurt me is relatively very short and a very little time period compared to when they helped me, which is relatively very long. Every time I meditate on compassion, they are all helping me. Every time when I try to develop Bodhimind they are helping me. Every time when I want to become a Buddha, they are helping me. Think about it. That's really true. Every time when we wear clothing, when we wear a dress, they are helping me.

We say "Hey. You have a nice wool sweater. You have nice cashmere sweater. Nice wool, nice cashmere." Where are those coming from? Somebody's hair. Likewise, each and every single thing we eat, even if we don't eat meat, but if you eat vegetables or tofu, still, somebody made it. Tofu maybe a natural thing, however it does not automatically become tofu. Somebody has to make tofu, or cheese or butter. Think about it. Each and every thing we have is because of somebody. Somebody has done something. Somebody's sharing something. You may think "I took it from the cow." But that cow is somebody -- that's really true. So, helping is done all of the time and harming is very little of it, which has to be a misunderstanding. The dogs may bite you because the dog is very afraid that you are going to kill him or something. Even each and every little harm that I get, there's some fault of mine in there involved. That's my number two reason.

My most important and number three reason is, “I'm going to die and I don't know when I'm going to die, so how can I make distinctions between people?” You know, its just like three people who are going to be executed tomorrow morning and tonight you say "Ah, yah, and I want to be good with this, and I want to be bad with that." You can't do it. They are all going to die tomorrow. Right? And just like that I'm going to die, I don't know when I'm going to die. Why should I make a big difference between sentient beings? That's my bottom line number three reason. Did you get me? That is simple and important. From my point of view, how I can make a difference? Okay? That covers relative self three.

Now absolute three -- number one. If the enemy and friend division, is really true, from the Buddhist point of view, Buddha must know it. Right? Buddha must know it. Does Buddha make a difference between absolute and relative, sorry, enemy and friend? No. What did Buddha do? When there is somebody who tries to help Buddha, like giving a sandalwood oil massage, and somebody else who brings a little chopper and cuts a little piece of Buddha's flesh, Buddha will make no distinction between them. That's why Buddha is called free of attachment and aversion.

So if that is the true reality for Buddha, its obvious I am wrong. Are you with me? It is obvious I am wrong. So my impression of making such a huge thing called "enemy" and my impression of such a huge thing called "this is my friend" and "mine, mine, mine" is a total delusion. The sandalwood massage and carpenter chopper, is the example. That's the number one reason from the absolute point of view.

Number two reason is, if it's absolutely true the enemy is enemy and the friend is friend, then they should always remain as friend and enemy forever, but its not true. During the Buddha's life time, Shariputra was one of the most important disciples of the Buddha. Shariputra happened to be traveling and walking through a village and suddenly he saw a little family. When he was passing by them, he starts laughing and crying and they couldn't figure out what he is doing.

So they asked him "Why did you laugh? Why did you cry? What are you doing?"

So he said "I'm laughing at the Samsaric life."

And they said "what Samsaric life is happening here?"

He said "you see this little boy?"

They had a little boy. A newly born boy.

He said "In his previous life, he is the family's enemy. He killed their father and the father killed him. So the enemy which was killed by the father, happens to be that little boy which is very precious in the family. The most precious one. The father who got killed by this enemy happens to be a fish in the pond at the back of the house, and they caught the fish and ate the meat and now they are feeding the bones to the dog who happens to be the mother."

So that is Shariputra's story.

That is the picture -- how it changes. There is nothing certain about it. It will change. Enemies become friends. Friends become enemies. This is absolute reality. Think about Noreiga. When Bush was the CIA director they were very good friends. Alan used to sing a song, remember? “They talk about the weather or something, you know. . They have a cup of coffee and talk about the weather.” But what happened when Bush became President? He went down there and got hold of him and stuck him in jail. That's what it is. Right in front of our eyes. That's what happened. So that's what happens all the time -- its changing.

Therefore, so much of a black and white way we're holding, like enemy and friend, holding so tight, making ourselves miserable in our life, is really meaningless. It is the wrong view. It is giving us wrong information. That is the second reason in absolute truth.

Third reason. I and you. Other side and this side is dependent arising. If there is no East how can there be West? It depends on each other. The enemy depends on the friend, the friend depends on the enemy. You depend on me, I depend on you. We all depend on each other. That is the reality. That is absolute life. We are dependently arising. Not only enemy and friend depend on each other, but you and me, each and every person, this side and that side, everybody is dependent arising. We don't say it is empty, because you see it. You see it is dependent arising. Dependent natural. From that point of view alone, you cannot make that much of a big distinction. Well these are the other--one two three and self--one, two, three, absolute--one two three. Nine bullets to hit the ego bases. All of those, self, other, enemy, friend are ego manifestations. They are nine big bullets to hit the ego bases. This equanimity here is different than the others. That's one reason why Lojong has to be the exchange way of developing bodhi mind. Not only that, second and third, you'll see the resolutions level. which I might not be able to do today.

There are five resolutions. Out of these nine reasons you're going to get five resolutions. Each one of those resolutions are going to be reasons why Lojong has to be the exchange way of developing Bodhimind. It cannot be any other. That's the reason why. The resolutions and thinking of the quality of all. You know I really want you to think and meditate, on this okay? If I say meditate, you like it because its more romantic. The reality is, I want you to think about these nine reasons that I give you as well as certain verses out of the Lama Chopa. Those of you who have the Lama Chopa with you, I want you to look at verses 56,57,58,59,60 and don't think about verse 25. The Lama Chopa we gave you during the retreat (questions about numbers from audience. Rinpoche reads) Well, I have them in English, this is, again, the new one:

56. No one wants even the slightest suffering,

Or is ever content with the happiness they have;

In this we are all alike.

Inspire me to find joy in making others happy.

57. Seeing that the chronic disease of self-cherishing

Is the cause of my unwanted suffering,

Inspire me to put the blame where blame is due

And vanquish the great demon of clinging to self.

58. Cherishing beings and securing their happiness

Is the gateway that leads to infinite excellence.

Inspire me to hold others more dear than my life,

Even when I see them as enemies.

59. In short, the naive work for their aims alone;

While Buddhas work solely to benefit others.

Having weighed those faults against Buddhas’ excellence,

Inspire me to change self-absorption to concern for others.

60. Since cherishing myself is the doorway to all downfalls,

And cherishing others the foundation of everything good,

Inspire me to practice from my heart

The yoga of exchanging self and others.

These are the five verses -- if you could read those and their commentaries, it will be valuable. The commentaries are available of our transcription, right? Of our transcripts? And the commentaries are available by the Dali Lama in A Flash of Lightening in the Dark of Night. There are commentaries available in Great Treasure of Merit. If you read those you will understand much better when I return on March 25th. So these are actually the points of the resolutions and these five resolutions will come and they will be able to bring this uncommon, extraordinary equanimity. That is the fundamental basis of Lojong. So if you have that, then Lojong will work easily.

I guess I should stop here. If you have any questions, I'm happy to entertain.

Question: I was reading Becoming a child of the Buddha and I was talking to my mother about the part that says, at the beginning, it says that if you really look at why your friends are your friends, its because they are nice to you and they build you up and if you look at why your enemies are your enemies its because they cut you down and hurt your feelings. So really having friends or enemies is, like, egocentric. Its concerned with who's nice to you and who's mean to you.

Rinpoche: I won't say that.

Question: Or its self-cherishing, it reflects--

Rinpoche: I won't say that. That doesn't mean there's no enemy, no friend. That doesn't mean that at all. But so tight that we hold onto these ideas, you know, it is so much that you know people say "I hate that person so much", you know, they really hold, no matter what, they hold against any individual for all sorts of reasons. Just simply because you don't like certain actions. That is the problem. That doesn't mean there's no enemy, there's no friend. That is reality. That is absolute. But it is my perception of how deep I want to put myself in that. That is the main point. That's what we have to change. We're not going to change friend into enemy, enemy into friend. We're not going to do that. That's not what exchange is all about. Exchange is all about how much am I going to put myself deep down in this, holding tight, blaming others, blaming somebody else for all my difficulties, and all of those. This is our problem.

"All the blames lie on one." And a lot of people go straight away, "Oh, blame lies on myself." Wrong. Wrong. Blame lies on the self- cherishing, not yourself. All of those. That's why right from the beginning I said a lot of people talk about Lojong and Tonglen and they have no idea what they are talking about. That's what I really mean. People do that all the time. Just simply because they say "breathe in, breathe out Hummm. It's tonglen." And "Oh. I've developed compassion -- may all other sentient beings. They're kind. They're so wonderful. I must repay their kindness. They're all wonderful and I must love them all. I must feel very sorry for them. I must free them and I'd like to become a Buddha. And this is, ahhh, this is training of the mind." And this is Lojong. You know? Its not that easy. And particularly, its extremely difficult, this basic foundation of the first step that is equanimity. That what my problem is. Maybe it is me. My ego or my self-cherishing. Could be. Do you have any questions or something. Did you raise your hand. What?

Question: Being trained as a Theravadan..

Rinpoche: Being trained as a (laughing) I'm sorry. I said "even Theravadan." That is my actual inside exhibition. I'm not apologizing to you. I don't care whether your training is Theravadan or Mahayana. It doesn't matter. But from my point of view, saying " even Theravaden" shows my own character. It is an exhibition of my own, um, thing. I really mean it.

Question: The questions I have. I have difficulty understanding the transmission. One of my teachers is Zen and she has received transmission from her teacher. I don't understand transmission.

Rinpoche: What do you mean by that?

Question: I understand giving if I gave something to her, a physical thing, but I don't understand how you can give if this transmission is what you're talking about -- what and how do you transmit it?

Rinpoche: I believe I am transmitting the message, and I'm reading the text. You're hearing it. That is what the transmission is all about. If you want to make a big ceremony, we can do it. Big ceremony, you know? We can do it. But I don't think it needs that. Talking to you and reading the text and you hearing the sound and getting the message I believe is the transmission. If you look at it as transmission, it is transmission. If you look at it as a lecture, it is a lecture. If you look at it as story telling, it will be story telling. That's how it goes. True. That's how it works. Thank you. Sir.

Question: If you are in a situation where you feel you have been hurt by someone else, how should you address that?

Rinpoche: Oh, good idea. That's a very good question. I disagree with the majority of Americans here. I'm different. The majority of Americans think that you have to punish that person. I don't. I really don't think we have to punish the person. Punishing doesn't do any good. Two wrong things will not make one right thing, for sure. You can help the person not to hurt somebody. I really look at things, you know, like the jail, I don't look it as a punishment, it should not be punishment. Jail is the place where people can temporarily hold back so that they don't harm anybody and then give them the opportunity to do right. That is my viewpoint. If somebody does something wrong, that person really needs help. If we can give help, we should definitely help them, but I don't believe you have to punish them. I don't think we have a right to punish anybody. I'm sorry. I'm kind of straight forward. Rather rough. I'm sorry for that. But that's my belief. That's why I'm against capital punishment. I really think its terrible. I'm sorry. And also I don't want people to look at jails and prison as some kind of punishment. You restrain the people from hurting others. They do all sorts of terrible things inside to the prisons. We know that right? Through movies, at least.

Question: When somebody has you emotionally or physically and through empathy or through being able to see their situation and where they've come from and what has made their, lets say abusiveness, or their pain and anger arise in them and forgiving them and giving them love and compassion and then letting them go. How do you then apply compassion and strength to yourself in order to deal with -- you've let them go, you've truly forgiven them and you don't have bad feelings about them, but you have the residuals of the pain and the confusion. So how do you go about applying that compassion to yourself?

Rinpoche: I'd like to talk about myself. When I was a kid, I've been beaten badly, to tell you the truth. I've been beat up badly so many times. By my attendant. By my manager. By my teacher. And by everybody around me. They beat me up all the time. Very badly. My attendant will bring my robe, and they would take that robe and clean it like this, right, you know, cleaning the dust off. And pull over you, over here, and it looks very nice and then they would pinch me and say "behave yourself!" You know, one pinch. I've done nothing wrong! You know, just entering. "Behave yourself!" I used to get all kinds of bruises everywhere, and everywhere here, and when I did something wrong they would lash me, from here to here. A number of times when I rode a horse and I could not put my bottom down, I had to stand on the saddle. If I touched down it hurt. A number of times. Not once or twice, a number of times. And I don't look at them as something bad done to me. I never thought that. I never even thought they abused me. I always thought they tried to make me good. Their own version of good behavior. That's their own version. And I never thought they've abused me. And I don't think I carry any scar of that today. That's me, personal. Not one person -- two or three or four of them beat me. And when they go, they locked me in the room and I am happy. Very happy. (Laughter) I even used to know when they're coming from three blocks away. I used to recognize their footsteps, you know? I know who's coming. I can listen to their footsteps beating. That's my life when I went through that. Like from the age of almost six through, my last beating might be seventeen. Seventeen might be. I'm not very sure. Seventeen or eighteen. So I went though that. And I went back to my parents, tried to cry, and you know what they told me? "Good quality is on the tip of whip." It’s the old life, you know? Old style. So I was brought up in that old life, that old style, but I don't carry any emotional scars today. That's me. I did not mean that you should do the same thing, okay? I'm just simply sharing my own feelings about that. That was a different society. I belonged to that old society, which we probably look at as a great spiritual society or whatever, I got beatings in that society. (Laughs). So then liberation came in '59 with the Chinese! (Laughs) Communist Chinese liberated me in '59! That's a joke! Don't take it literally. So that's that.

Question: I assume equanimity requires an inner sense of equanimity. Is there a situation when inner equanimity is present but the situation requires a stronger reaction from the outside?

Queation: When you say equanimity, there's a feeling of equanimity inside. But sometimes, could there be a situation in life where even though you feel equanimity on the inside you need to react harshly or in a way that appears not equal.

Rinpoche: My understanding is that equanimity here is again we're not trying to get A equals B, but my perception of A and my perception of B I try to make equal. That doesn't mean that I have to do everything, whatever I do to A I have to do the same thing to B. Its not that, because according to the situation, you have to function and do it. But my own perception of making a big distinction between friend and enemy, which is really causing my suffering, I have to change within me. So we're talking about equanimity of my own perception, the perceiving point of equanimity rather than the equanimity of making everything equal. I hope that answers it , I don't know. If I got the question correctly, that's supposed to be the answer. Okay, So I'd like to be thanking everybody that's been here. I'll be here on March 25.