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Talk on Meditation given by Gehlek Rimpoche

at

Jewel Heart New York, June 24, 2004

Good evening. Welcome here tonight. We are continuing the instructions on meditation, and I have to continue because otherwise I won’t finish by the end of the year!

Last Thursday (June 17) we introduced the major focusing point in meditation. Once you have begun to focus and meditate, the questions I will introduce today are: what kinds of things will happen? What problems can you expect? How do you take care of them? They are problems everybody will have.

The moment you try to meditate and focus, you’re not going to be able to focus much at all, not even for a couple of seconds. Then, from the moment that you do focus, why can’t you stay focused? The reason is, you’re going to have the two problems of excitation and laxity. When you begin to look very carefully, there is a question of whether laxity is the right word or not. We will look into that.

I’m outlining the major power points here: when these two obstacles arise, what shall we do? When we don’t have these two obstacles what shall we do? First, the biggest problem we will have is, we will not recognize either of them when they arise. The second problem is not a big issue right now, but it will be. That is, even when you recognize one of these two, you don’t work with it. You don’t deal with it.

Let’s deal with the first problem, which is not recognizing a problem. We are dealing with two mental faculties. One is called excitation, and the other is called laxity. What is it? What is excitation? In English, we use these words [easily], but when you listen carefully, you may ask, what are we really talking about? Here, excitation is a part of obsession or attachment and mind. Mind somehow loses its attention because you’ve become attracted to something. Someone over in India, about two thousand years ago, asked one of those great masters of the six excellencies, Asanga, “What is the definition of this ‘excitation’ you talk about?” Asanga replied, “Excitation has a mind with strong attachment, which takes your mind away from the peaceful, thus obstructing zhi ne.” That was Asanga’s definition.

You have to look at three points. This particular mind of excitation, what does it focus on? It focuses on something you really like. It doesn’t focus on something that you don’t like. You really like it, love it, and are attracted to it.

What are the aspects of this particular mind? It is a rough mind, that is part attachment, part obsession (slightly influenced by obsession), and it takes you away from what you are really focusing on, and diverts your [attention].

What is the activity of this particular mind? It is obstruction of the focus. These are the three main aspects of that mind.

In other words, this mind thinks of something that you are attracted to. It doesn’t think about something you don’t like. How does it feel? Maybe you don’t recognize it, but you will feel, ‘I am not focused.’ It will take you away from what you are trying to focus on, and it is part attachment and part obsession. When you are trying to focus on the image of the Buddha, or on your mind, or whatever you are trying to focus on, this mind [of excitation] will remind you of some beautiful form, or a beautiful sound, or a beautiful feeling; something you would like to revisit.

Buddha himself said, (Rimpoche recites Tibetan). The more you focus, the more excitation will take you. It is part of your delusion, and it catches you, as though someone were throwing an old-fashioned lasso and tying you up completely. You are helpless and powerless; you can’t even move. Then they pull you, right? [Thus] excitation will drag your mind away from the focusing point. Did you get it? It’s not that difficult. Here you begin to understand that meditation is focusing, really focusing.(Rimpoche recites a Tibetan verse.)

This is exactly what addictions do to us. If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything, that addiction will pull you away from whatever you are trying to focus on, without your realizing it. You will feel a happiness, joyfulness and excitedness as it comes and takes you away. That is the number one obstacle you should expect to find when you begin to meditate.

It’s there. When you sit down and think and try to meditate, you won’t stay long on your focusing point. You will realize your mind is thinking totally something else.

Let us be clear about that. If you’re not clear about this, you will have more problems.

The next one is going to be more difficult. The second problem is what we call laxity. However, you really have to think of two separate ones. One is quite a gross one, the other is a little subtle one. In Tibetan, we do have different names for each of them. In English, people are using sinking mind, or laxity. I’ve never seen any translator make any distinction between the two types. It may be because I don’t read English, or I don’t listen to anybody else’s English.

This [laxity] has two categories. The first one is called [mumba?], which I will describe so it will be clear to you. It is [in nature] ignorance. You know there are basically three poisons; ignorance, obsession and hatred. It is a part of ignorance, or we even call it evil sometimes. It definitely [belongs to] not knowing, with nothing clear, and it makes both our body and mind quite heavy. We don’t want to move, don’t want to think, don’t want to do anything. We may call it laziness, tiredness. A lot of people say, ‘I just can’t get moving.’

That is considered a negativity, according to the Buddha’s teaching. People may think, ‘it is natural, so it is neither positive nor negative,’ but this is considered a negativity. This creates negative karma. It is negative karma. It’s a result of negative karma. Though we may blame a lot of it on certain physical conditions that we actually have, we are talking more here about mind and mental aspects.

We feel heavy, unable to move, unable to function. The mind is still focusing on whatever you’re supposed to be focused on, yet [the mind] is completely lax. It doesn’t hold the focal point tight. There is no clarity of the focal point. The mind itself may have a little clarity, but you’re not really seeing it clearly. This is considered difficult to understand, and it is always taught through examples. One is, you don’t see it, like a blind person. The blind person will not say anything, right? Probably in the blind person’s eye consciousness nothing exists, but this one sees something that you don’t see. Maybe the blind person knows there is something, but she/he doesn’t really see it, doesn’t know it is there.

These examples are quite difficult ones. You know, I wish there were better examples. Another example given is darkness. There’s no light. It is all dark. You know there is something, but you really can’t figure it out what is there. The third example is of closing your eyes. You know there is something, there is a person. You may even talk to her/him, but you really don’t have the clarity – you don’t see the person. Right?

These are the three examples that introduce what we call laxity. There are, however, two categories. When it becomes a little subtle, then it can be virtue, it can be non-virtue. When it is at the level of [mupa ?] or that negativity of ignorance, it is always non-virtuous. Now the question comes, how do we deal with this? Asanga says, you have to make yourself happy by remembering Buddha. As a Buddhist, the best thing is Buddha. So, when you think about Buddha, be happy.

Don’t think about a dark environment. Think sunshine, bright light, beautiful sunshine. This particular mental faculty is like having darkness on the individual mind. It makes you unclear, and because you are unable to focus as much as you used to, you become weaker when you are focusing, so you’re getting those problems. Make it clear, bring light. Think of sunshine. Think of a bright snow mountain radiating a lot of wonderful lights, bright white light.

When people mistake not focusing very well with the true meditation, then it is harmful to the individual. This is quite important. Tsong Kha Pa here tells you, [the focal point you choose] has to be based on your personal experience, something that you recognize. You will find that different people will have different kinds of laxity.

Really, truly, you have to hold the object tightly. If I remember correctly, here is the example given to me by one of my teachers. You are asked to cross a big road on foot, holding a big bowl in your hands, filled with burning hot oil. You really have to completely focus. Otherwise, the oil will drip and burn your hands. You have to make judgments about how much the oil will shake or spill, so you move accordingly. That level of focusing in meditation is required. Otherwise, you become lax.

Here, the difference between true meditation and subtle laxity is a line thinner than a single hair of a horse’s tail. This is not a funny thing to talk about; it becomes important. According to Tsong Kha Pa, it is [decided by] the experience of the individual how much tightness you need to avoid this laxity, and how relaxed you need to be in order to avoid excitations. Balancing these is what you need to make sure that the meditation is right and correct.

Let me repeat [this point], because it is important. When you begin to meditate, why do you lose the focus? There are two possible reasons. Either your mind is taken away by the forces of attraction and your mind wanders, or your mind is too lax. We don’t even have to talk about the major [gross] forms of laxity. Sleeping and fainting are not meditation. We made that very clear at the beginning. We don’t even have to raise these now. These [represent] the very, very gross level.

A little more subtle, but still at the gross level, is not really focusing, and going somewhere else. Also, you may be thinking nothing, but are just sitting there. This happens to people. You may think you are meditating, but you are just sitting, thinking nothing. That is also a form of gross laxity.

At the subtle level of laxity, you may be focusing, thinking whatever you are thinking, yet there is no force; you are just thinking about it. That makes a big difference.

These are really practical problems for those of you who are meditating. You know them, and you will face them. There is nothing theoretical here. Understanding these problems, and being able to catch them when they come up, is this enough? No, it’s not enough. When you are meditating, you have to know whether any of these problems has appeared or not. You don’t know, because once you realize you know you’re not [on your focal point], that is a clear sign that you don’t know. Even though you may be able to talk about what laxity is, and what excitation is, and what each one does, when they actually come, you won’t recognize it. We lose our focus, and the mind has gone miles away.

These are the problems of meditation. When you come into these problems, then, it’s nothing exciting, because these are really problems. When you don’t introduce these problems and talk about them, you’ll say, sit down, think, and then {don’t understand word], it’s very simple, it’s very easy, everybody can do it. The reason why meditation has not developed correctly in this country, is that no one has introduced the problems properly. And we don’t even know that these are the problems of meditation.

Simply knowing these two is not enough. Whenever they pop up, there has to be immediate information. The meditator has to receive this information during meditation. If you remember, we talked earlier about shi shin, meta something. It will only develop in the individual if you keep focusing, keep mindfulness all the time. We even talked about what mindfulness means here. We even talked about what forgetting means here. Forgetting does not mean that when you think about it, you remember, and when you don’t think about it, you don’t remember. When you are meditating, you are constantly, continuously thinking about that subject. I’m talking about when you are meditating. I’m not talking about when you are eating food. The moment you don’t think about it, that is called forgetting.

When you are completely, continuously focusing, and all of a sudden it’s not there, the particular mental faculty [of meta-awareness] will know. Sometimes when you are carrying something in your hand, you lose it, or drop it, you get some awareness that something is missing, but you don’t know what it is. Like that, when you are meditating, you get that [aching?] feeling that something’s missing. Information will come in. That is called shi shin. That has to be very sharp, and has to be completely functioning all the time.

It is something that we cannot [choose to] put in. If you want to get up early in the morning tomorrow, say 4:30, tonight you will keep thinking, ‘I have to get up at 4:30, 4:30, 4:30,’ so it doesn’t matter whether you go to bed at 2:00 or 3:00, or 12:00 or 1:00, at 4:30 you will wake up.

It’s not like that. You cannot put this in your mind that way. This has to be learned. The way you learn, is when you are focusing, and suddenly you stop focusing, then there is suddenly a huge gap and a shock and something will jerk you. That will immediately inform you that you are not focusing. That will only come when you are getting used to focusing continuously. It is a result of mindfulness. We’re making a big demand. Not only do you realize when you are not focusing, when you are about to lose your focus, you have to recognize it. You have to be awakened. You have to be informed, so that the continuation of your focus will not be disrupted.

Until such a mental faculty develops in us, none of us can say, I will meditate for five minutes. The reason is, your five minutes will be interrupted. It will not [happen]. Even two minutes will not [happen].

Tsong Kha Pa says here, that until such a mind [develops] which will absolutely make sure you know when any one of those problems appears to you, major meditations will have subtle laxity. If they do not bring that awareness [into being and functioning], a lot of people will waste their whole lives.

How do you know you are wasting your life? Your intellectual capacity, intelligence, wisdom mind begin to decrease, rather than increase. It does go very fast sometimes. When your intelligent mind, intellectual capacity, the wisdom aspects decrease, yet you have a relaxed, half-lazy type of focusing, not so tight, then that is the sign of subtle laxity.

Shantideva says, when you are thinking tight, when you are really focusing, and you meet with one of those obstacles, i.e., excitation or laxity, or when you are not thinking, which mind recognizes it faster and better, focusing mind or non-focusing mind? He says it is absolutely clear to us that when you are focused, and suddenly realize you are not focusing, you get that message much faster than when you are basically being lazy, and just sitting there, and your mind is gone you have no idea [where].

Did I speak right to you people? Or maybe I talk too much. When you are focusing, when you are thinking about something, and you lose your focal point, you will know much faster than when you’re not trying to push. It is obvious from our experience, that when you try to focus, and you are not focusing, you know that faster than when you’re not pushing [this passage seems unclear].

Shantideva gave this as a reason why this meta-alertness comes in as a result of mindfulness.

Now, to conclude this, this particular mental faculty is the result of mindfulness. When you are focusing either on the image of the Buddha, or on mind; just a simple experience, simple knowledge, simple focusing are all we have, remember? [We have] such an experience, just knowledge, just knowing, [there is the] basis of receiving information-receiving, though there is no physical form or anything, but an information receiver ready to acknowledge that focal point, and continuously focusing on that, not going anywhere else, and not relaxing; this is what Tsong Kha Pa says is shi shin, the knowing, immediately knowing that meta mind. [Part of the definition], we said, is being capable of automatically knowing you’re not focusing, right? This really indicates that this particular mental faculty is the key for anyone to meditate. It will make sure you are not overtaken by the problems of excitation or laxity.

By doing this, what are you going to achieve? [You will have] continuation of mindfulness and meta-alertness. Your mindfulness will become powerful. You will not have even a subtle problem. If you see a subtle problem, you will not have the problem of not recognizing it. When you see it, you immediately work to stop it. Right now you are moving. You are focusing a little, now more, you are [aware of] the obstacles and how to handle them, and now you have focused even more. You’ve probably progressed up through four or five stages.

At that level, laziness can enter in. Even if you sense that problems are coming, you decide, ‘That’s not going to bother me that much. I can manage alright.’ So you don’t put forth the effort to block these obstacles. That becomes a big problem for the meditator.

You need mind awareness for this. What Tsong Kha Pa tells us here is fantastic. Each obstacle will introduce itself, and [will reveal] where it comes from. When we look into this carefully, we find there are 52 different mental faculties, each one with its own job to do. One particular faculty is called mind, whose job is to guide the main mind. It is like a magnet, that pulls in other pieces of metal. This mental faculty has the capacity to pull the individual mind in the direction of virtue, non-virtue or in between, the neutral level.

This is very boring today for many of you. But the essence of spiritual practice is positive virtue, negative non-virtue, and the neutral level. [It is vital] to see the mind, and in which direction it’s going. This particular mental faculty has that power to pull. That’s why sometimes we use, ‘I don’t want to do that, I’d [rather] go this way.’ We do that, don’t we? We say, ‘I don’t like violence. I don’t want to watch this. I don’t want to hear this.’ Something is twisting internally. This mental faculty, sempa, is working. It has been informed, educated and trained by our information, knowledge and qualities. When we are not knowing anything, not focusing and not really alert, suddenly this mental faculty clicks in, and says, ‘I don’t want to watch that. It’s too much violence. I can’t bear it.’ It automatically kicks in.

Some people, when they are so addicted to killing, or something, they love to watch violent movies. This mental faculty, sempa, is twisting inside the individual and giving guidance, and it has the power to drag the mind, just like a magnet [away from the delusion-producing influences].

During meditation, we have to bring that in. That mental faculty’s job is to make sure the meditation is going in a virtuous direction, and that you stop the laxity and excitations. The question is ‘how.’

Where does laxity come from? This is where I begin to wonder whether laxity is the right language. Sinking may be better. It comes from collecting our mind too tight inside. We are losing focus because we are holding too tight. To overcome that, you have to take the mind out, let loose and relax. Think of something you like a lot.

Tsong Kha Pa adds, it’s like [focusing on] Buddha’s image, not something that develops delusion. We have [this challenge] all the time, right? More or less every entertainment we have grows delusion. Violence is one example, another is sex, also money, lying and that type of thing. That is how to take your mind out [of a delusion-producing situation]. That’s why Tsong Kha Pa brought in Buddha’s image. That, however, is difficult for us. First we have to learn to be happy when you see Buddha. This [goes without saying] for life-long Buddhist practitioners, going back generations. For us, we’re not sure if we see Buddha whether we’ll be happy or not. Hopefully we are.

Tsong Kha Pa says sunshine, any brightness, make the mind awaken and become exciting. Never think something sad in this moment, because sadness collects internally. Anything sad such as worry draws the mind inside. It needs something [to draw] it out, like wisdom or meditation on emptiness. Discriminating wisdom can [draw] your mind out.

What is recommended here is [applying the power] of discriminating wisdom, which should [draw] the mind out of too much sinking inside. Too much sinking brings not only laxity, but it also brings depression. Tsong Kha Pa says that some translators from the Indian language choose to call it depression rather than sinking. The majority of them, however like to call laxity ‘sinking.’ So we follow it. Gross sinking mind or gross laxity, however, also bring depression. Depression is the result of holding too tightly, or too much sadness, constantly, continuously; too much thinking internally, or too much worry, naturally. These are the categories that pull you in.

The recommendation here is, try to meditate. Try to be light. [Cultivate] happiness. You know what are really recommended are the benefits of bodhimind, the value of human life, and the Buddha and his qualities.

Another point is called (Rimpoche recites Tibetan] forcefully cutting the sinking mind. That is, when you are sitting and meditating, think that your consciousness, your mind, yourself or your soul is something very light, like cotton wool. I have to be careful how much I should tell you here. The air energy from the lower part of our body is pushing up. Our consciousness, light like cotton wool, is jumping up. With the air, it pushes through, way high up, into the clouds, and mixes with the clouds. That’s why [the analogy of] cotton wool is used.

This is not a powa practice. It has nothing to do with powa. It is simply taking [the consciousness] up and bringing it back.

There is another [helpful] thing you can use if you have these sorts of difficulties. In the evening when the sun is setting, you stand up on your toes and while watching the sun go down, send out the sadness, difficulty and sorrows that you have, and bid them goodbye a number of times.

There are a couple more. Watching the stars and looking at the moon is another method of getting rid of the sinking mind.(You know the people who watch [the stars] with a telescope.) When you have that kind of difficulty, you are not forced to continue to meditate. We have to stop meditation and [apply these methods].

In Tibet, I had one teacher, [Genden Ma Gyentse?] who would take a group of us up on the mountaintop and have a picnic up there (Rimpoche laughs heartily). Way up there, with the beautiful cold breeze, beautiful, very nice food, overlooking a huge valley, he never said why we were doing it. [The aim was] so that when I become old, I can look back [at the experience]. Why do you have to go to have a picnic way up on the mountaintop, with the great climbing [to get there]? It was really for that purpose. There are a lot of other [methods] too, but maybe this is good enough.

So therefore, it might not be laxity. It goes much deeper and stronger than laxity. All of these depressions are due to too much worry, [forcing] too much, too much thinking. It could even be from focusing too forcefully, [i.e.,] when you are going to school or are overworked. Naturally, overworking will bring [these problems]. Also, people have a natural habit of making themselves completely busy, so they don’t have to think about [problems]. This indirectly, or directly contributes toward bringing these sinking problems. Trying to avoid depression contributes to depression.

When I come back next time, I will talk to you a little more about wandering mind, then the combination [of the obstacles], and how to take care of them. Then we can discuss ‘What is faultless meditation?’ after clearing all of this. After introducing faultless meditation, we’ll discuss nine stages and four conjunctions. Then it will be over. I’m looking forward [to that]. (Audience laughs.) Thank you.

6/29/2004