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56

20071028 My Life – My Emotions

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Good Morning, everybody. Thank you for coming here today. What I would like to talk to you is from the angle of Tibetan Buddhism. Tibetan Buddhism is nothing but Buddha’s gift to us, the community. Buddha has nothing new to give that is not already existing. He gave us his experience and that is nothing new. It is what we have, our qualities, our capabilities. We just have to recognize them. One of the great early Indian Buddhist teachers was Shantideva. Shanti in Indian language means ‘peace’. Deva is a ‘small g – god’. That was his name, because he presented something that brought peace and harmony to everybody. It was a little talk that he gave, called bodhisattvacharyavatara in Sanskrit. Translated into English it is “The Bodhisattva’s Way of Life’. Bodhisattvas are the masters of love and compassion and they are the ones that are earmarked to be perfect in love and compassion.

The way Shantideva came to present this book was very interesting. He was a funny guy who was known for only three activities: how to eat, how to go to the toilet and how to sleep. The people nicknamed him as “The One Who Only Knows Three Things”. He was a Buddhist monks and the monks lived separately from the nuns. The monks would send one monk every other week the nunnery. He would hear confessions and give some teachings. One day the abbot chose Shantideva. The nuns got really offended, saying, “They have so many great and holy and highly developed masters, but they are sending us this guy who only knows three things. Are they insulting us?” So they thought they would get back at them. They thought, “Since he comes as a representative of Buddha, we must give him respect. So we will make him a huge throne.”

They collected all their dresses and built up a huge throne made up of piled up dresses. It was almost reaching the ceiling. They didn’t provide any steps or ladders and said, “Let’s see how it is going to get up there.” So Shantideva arrived and saw this throne. He thought, “Are they doing this to respect me or to insult me?” He meditated for a little while and realized this was meant to be an insult. So he raised up his hand and it is said it went up like an elephant trunk and pressed the throne down – almost to the floor. Then he sat on it and the throne began to lift up again.

The lecture he then gave is in 9 chapters and tells you how a person can develop compassion and how to work and deal with it. It came from all different angles, from generosity, morality, patience, enthusiasm, conscientiousness, concentration and wisdom, etc. These nine different angles became 9 chapters. While he was talking the throne kept going up and up, even beyond the ceiling and Shantideva at the end disappeared, but people could still hear his voice when he taught the 10th chapter, the dedication. That’s how he passed away and that’s what he left for the people of his time and even us, so many centuries later. Shantideva said,

I have nothing new to say, nor am I a great composer. But I am going share what Buddha experienced and from which I tasted a little bit.

That’s how he began his teaching. In the Tibetan Buddhism we offer, traditionally the speaker will say, “I have no capability of presenting the Buddha’s ideas and experiences. Whatever little thing you are going to get is a little sprinkle of water from the ocean.” And this is the truth. There is no way to present adequately the ideas of the Buddha. But a little drop of this ocean is what we can share. This is what Buddha’s 2600 old wisdom has left for us. The essence of that is nothing but compassion.

When I say ‘compassion’ you may think that compassion is meant for someone who has physical or mental or emotional suffering.

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That may be true, but the most important thing I would like to share with us from what little I know is this: compassion begins with ourselves. It is easy to look at somebody else’s suffering and say, “Oh poor you”. I don’t even know whether that’s compassion or not. In some cases it is and in some cases not. It can be very condescending and that’s not compassion. Compassion must begin with ourselves. Knowing our own situation is a prerequisite. We have a wonderful and fantastic life – especially if you are American or Western European. It has all kinds of facilities. There is all kinds of information and knowledge.

In another way we also have a wonderful mind that is capable of delivering any goods you want: in the spiritual field as well as in the material, in terms of money and in terms of everything. It is capable of doing whatever you want. Your mind can make it happen. And that is your mind. I am not talking about Buddha’s mind or somebody else’s mind. I am not talking about something we may get in future. You and I are having it today. Our mind is capable to do anything you want to. If you want to become a multi-billionaire, your mind is capable of making it happen. Your intelligence is no worse than Bill Gates’. Honestly. This guy happens to be focusing obsessively on it, working hard and picking up a fine way to utilize and make it. You can do that same. Your mind is capable. If you want to become like Buddha – totally enlightened and spiritually developed – you are capable. Your mind has it. That is our wealth; that is our treasure. Somehow we have that capacity in this life time.

On the other side we also have so many pains, difficulties, and so much sadness, not fulfilling our wishes, tears, and all kinds of emotional stuff. This thing goes wrong, that thing goes wrong. It’s all happening. And that is also the reality. Each and every one of us today has that. Sometimes we are sick, sometimes our loved ones are not well. It is happening with family, friends, colleagues, everyone. That is the reality. You cannot deny. And that’s the reason why need compassion for ourselves and others and everybody else.

Let alone mental and physical sufferings, even the constant change within ourselves brings suffering. I don’t remember that years ago I looked as ugly as I am today. I remember being a young, nice, sweet little kid, running around – quite a cute one. But that’s no longer the case. It is changing. I don’t remember being born with glasses. But now it is happening. This the basis suffering we endure, even in the midst of our wonderful life. There are unfortunate interruptions too, like losing loved ones and one day we ourselves will also pack up and go. That’s why we need compassion for ourselves. Remember: compassion is not just thinking, “Oh poor you, you are suffering so much, I am sympathizing.” That’s not compassion.

Compassion understands the pain one goes through. Compassion finds out how to support and help. Just sympathizing is not compassion. It is condescending. Who wants sympathy anyway? But support and help is something else. Buddha discovered that the pains and sufferings we have is sort of part of our life. I don’t want to say it is natural, but it is there all the time and we cannot avoid it. What can we do? We can become free from that. That freedom is the answer Buddha found. I am not just talking about freedom from illness, but from what causes the illness. The beautiful gift Buddha gave us is that looking at the symptoms is not so important, but what causes the symptoms is.

Sure, you don’t want the symptoms, but the way to get of the symptoms is to avoid the causes in the first place. Buddha saw no other cause for our continuing pains and sufferings than our negative emotions. That’s it. Bare bones. Our hatred, our obsession and our stupidity, confusion and ignorance. Traditionally called ignorance, I often refer to it as ‘ego’. Buddha spoke of the Three Poisons. We were talking about poisonous snakes on the way here and if you look at the negative emotions, that’s what they are. Obsession is like a cobra and so is hatred and ignorance.

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They are poisonous. That’s what we have right inside of us, deep in our heart. That’s the reason why need compassion for ourselves. Like the good old American saying “Charity begins at home”, likewise compassion begins in your own heart. You have to have it for yourself, by yourself. We don’t have somebody else’s sympathy. We want our own compassion for ourselves, so that we can help ourselves. If you don’t help yourself, no one else can help you. Believe me. I am sure your husband, wife, children or parents are there for you, but still sometimes no one can do anything. Sometimes we feel so much for somebody else and wish we could get to them and do something, but we cannot. Sometimes that happens when you think of somebody else, but sometimes you could be looking at yourself and don’t know what to do. This is our life. That’s why we need compassion for ourselves, so that we can help ourselves.

The help no 1 is to recognize the source of the problems: the three poisons, hatred, obsession and confusion-ignorance. So recognize them and avoid them. That’s not easy, because we are addicted. We will giggle and go and still do it. We know it is wrong. We know it is bad, but still we giggle and do it. That’s because we are addicted. There is nothing to hide. We are doing it.

Recognize that, even when it is too late, it doesn’t matter. Better late than never. Notice when you are falling under the control of the addiction and make up your mind, “I don’t want to be under the control of the addictions.” Keep on correcting it. If you keep doing this there will be time where you will recognize them even before they are a problem.

This is how you help yourself. You have to have that awareness. I wish there were an AA program for these mental addictions. Even if we make one, we have to make it on this basis. Our mind is so capable. It has not limits. Some people – very few – may feel that they are very dull and stupid. But that’s not true. You are not dull or stupid. You just didn’t work with your mind and that’s why your mind is “unused”. So you have to use it. This is our biggest value. It worth more than multi-billion dollars. It is more powerful than the US military forces. It is much more powerful than the atomic bomb. The atomic bomb is a result of the human bomb. We made the atomic bomb. The atomic bomb didn’t make us. Every governmental, military, economic power has been made by our mind. They didn’t make us. People forget that. It is a fundamental principle in human rights. It is our creation. We made all these things. That means your mind, my mind and everybody else’s mind. If we don’t use it, it is nothing but a handful of brain. If you use it, it is your mind. It is bigger than space, more powerful than anything else that has ever existed. Realize what you have. Appreciate what you have. Make best use of it. That is a compassionate act for yourself. When you begin how to help yourself, you can do the same for your loved ones, the family, the fellow countrymen, the fellow human beings and all living beings. That is Buddha’s message. That is Buddha’s teaching. The bottom line falls on care. Feel it, care and help. You are capable, wherever it is and whatever it is. That’s what we are, what we can do for ourselves. When you can do it for yourself, you can do it for others. That is how Buddha tried to help all living beings. That is the essence of Buddha’s compassion. That is the essence of Buddha’s love.

Our problem of not using that is because of our addictions to the Three Poisons. Keep on reducing them. Eradicating them completely is a long way off. But keep on reducing them. Every time you reduce them, you gain something and that is your spiritual development.

A lot of people think that spiritual development is something that hits you on the head and goes wild and crazy. That is absolutely ridiculous, but a lot of people think that today. Some purposely pretend to be hit by something and run around like crazy and act crazy. With that they are trying to send the message that “I am spiritually developed.” No, you are not. You have just gone crazy. A spiritually developed person is not going to go crazy. They will be gentle, kind and caring. They know how to handle life’s problems. The personality of such a person is totally soaked in compassion, nothing else but compassion, care and love. When you have that, you have got something. When you don’t have that, you are probably soaked in hatred and jealousy and obsession. Wash that away, try to soak yourself in love and compassion, care. That is technically called bodhimind and that is also Shantideva’s message. Once you are able to do this, then everything automatically works out. This is our problem. That’s where we are stuck. The beginning is the hardest of all. So put in a little effort. Support yourself.

People say, “Share your compassion”. When you don’t have compassion, what would you share? So develop compassion for yourself inside of yourself and then share that with others. That’s what I learnt in the 68 years of my life through the Buddha’s message. That’s what I would like to talk to you. This is the Buddha’s gift. This is the traditional Tibetan Buddhist teachings that have been kept for a thousand years and the essence is this. I am very privileged and happy and joyous to be able to carry this tiny, little message and give it to you. You have to take it into your heart. The change has to be made within you. Words don’t change. Words can even be known by parrot. If you give good nuts to a parrot it will repeat the words. It is not a big surprise. But when you make the change within you everybody will feel that. They will love you. One of the Buddha’s disciples said

When you go near a mountain that has a lot of gold everything nearby will have lots of gold.

If you go near a mountain that has a lot of poison everything nearby will become poison.

So if you become good that will affect your spouse and your family and it will all go in that direction. This is how love, compassion and caring will prevail throughout humanity. It is in our own hands. Each and every individual here can make a difference to our society. Society is nothing but the collection of individuals. We are the individuals. We are the seed. We will make a difference not only to ourselves, but to society. And not only to society, but to the city, state and country and to every human being. We can make the difference. You can make the difference. It is in your own hands, nobody else’s.

Thank you [33.22]