Archive Result

20120205GRNLTB6

00:00

Before we get the broadcast going I am saying Hi to everybody. Glad all of you could make it today. Maybe afterwards, after 5 pm we can have questions. You can ask them in Nederlands and I will be able to do things better. So thank you. Good to see so many old friends and also some new friends. We won’t have a translation during the talk but we will be able to communicate afterwards. I am talking this series on Sunday mornings in the US. It is 4pm here and 10 am there. We call this: Tibetan Buddhism with Gelek Rimpoche. I am talking about a variety of important subjects in Tibetan Buddhism and we started this only this January. We try to do it every Sunday with a live broadcast. Next week we will have a public talk here, so we try to combine these together so that I don’t have to do two different talks. I am committed to do this Sunday talk for one year every Sunday morning. So I had to make a little deal here before we could start and everything went well and I want to thank the Dutch people here for being able to accommodate for that.

0:04:19

START OF WEBAST

Good morning everybody, welcome to this talk on Tibetan Buddhism with Gelek Rimpoche. Again today you are hearing me from Holland. It is relatively cold here and there is snow too. I have come to Holland for 25 years now and I remember it snowing only three times. Last week there was still nice, warm weather and then it suddenly changed and there is quite cold, artic air flowing through Holland. The members of Jewel Heart in Holland along with me send their greetings to all of you.

Last year we talked about morality. I will repeat it a little bit today, because I do have a number of friends here also listening to this. I want to talk about morality also to them, because morality is very important. Some people think that morality is some kind of subject that they don’t really have to bother much with, thinking it is an issue for beginners only or for less intelligent people or something. Some people think it is not so important throughout. But my emphasis is that morality is extremely important. It is definitely a fundamental basis for the spiritual path. It is definitely a fundamental basis of Tibetan Buddhism. Morality is extremely important. And it is not just the usual understanding of morality in the sense of sexual orientation, but here morality is really to avoid negativities and build positives. It is important to avoid negativities. If you don’t, there are severe consequences. We are responsible for our own negative actions. That’s why it is our responsibility to avoid them. If you think there is a better way to develop a spiritual path or that there is some kind of spiritual path that supersedes moral issues, that’s not true at all.

Not only is morality important, but it has to come along with discipline. It is also important to be kind, compassionate and caring and loving. That is another very important point. A lot of people think, “I can look after myself. I don’t care what happens to the others.” Many do that. Tibetan Buddhism will not give you a way out of that. It is based on love and compassion. That is not only love for selected people, but to everybody, including yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will not know how to love others. Honestly. It is important to love and care for ourselves and others. You cannot ignore people, you have to care about them. Compassion does not dismiss and ignore. It cares, really cares. Nobody should be able to ignore anyone. Everybody has to care. Some people would like to say, “As long as I can manage myself, I am okay. I don’t have to care about others.” But that’s not right, particularly in Tibetan Buddhism. Here you really have to care about others and about yourself. If you don’t care for others, you don’t have compassion. Without that you don’t have the basis of a spiritual path in Tibetan Buddhism. It is really compassion – and love oriented. If you have a problem with that it is a fundamental problem. Narrow, selfish interest alone will not lead the individual to enlightenment. That is important to know.

0:13

The goal of Tibetan Buddhism is to gain total enlightenment. In order to gain that, the root of enlightenment is compassion. Without it you cannot develop much. In Buddhism there is room for practices without ultimate compassion, but that’s not Tibetan Buddhism. Tibetan Buddhism is really Mahayana Buddhism, which is based on love and compassion. When you don’t have compassion for all beings, the narrow, selfish interest cannot lead to enlightenment. In other words, the goal of Tibetan Buddhism is for the practitioners to become Buddha. We use words like ‘enlightenment’ but it is really to become Buddha. And you cannot become Buddha without compassion. Love and compassion is the root. Without root you cannot have a tree, flowers, branches, leaves. That’s why compassion is so important. It will not allow you to ignore other people. Ignoring is a big problem, maybe not for one individual who has selfish interests. But it is a problem for anyone who wants to become a Buddha. That’s not for one person to become Buddha for everybody who is on this path, who is interested in that. Their spiritual goal is to become a Buddha. Less than becoming Buddha is not the right thing to do. You really have to go for Buddhahood.

How does one get there? Buddha comes from compassion. The followers of the Buddha, either Theravadan followers, such as Sravakas and Pratyekas, or the bodhisattvas, are the result of Buddha. Buddha gives teachings, people develop the spiritual path and that becomes either self liberation or the bodhisattva, who is dedicated to liberating all living beings. They all come from Buddha. But Buddha is coming from compassion and love. Love and compassion are totally important and the very root of Tibetan Buddhism. When we are following that we have to follow the path of love and compassion.

How do you develop compassion and love? Just sitting there and saying “compassion and love” is not going to develop it. One must put in some effort. Love and compassion come through efforts. Before I talk about love and compassion I would like to say one thing. Under the excuse of love and compassion one should not put oneself to be the subject of abuse by anyone, including yourself. You may say, “Because of compassion and love I cannot be rude to anyone or hit anyone.” But for self-defense you have to hit. Otherwise the other one will hit and kill you. You cannot wait there and say, “I am committed to compassion, so let them kill me.” It is great if you can do that, but it is not right. It is wrong. With the excuse of compassion you cannot allow yourself to be abused.

Yesterday somebody asked me that question, saying they could not kick a person out. If that person is abusing you and you still want to take abuse in the name of compassion that is not right. But you cannot give up either. You cannot say, “I cannot help that person. I don’t care.” That you can’t do. You have to care and help, but with establishing your own needs first. If you make yourself the subject of abuse and then think you are helping that is not right. Not only are you not helping that person but you damage them. You are also hurting yourself. That is not compassion. That is stupidity. If you want to be stupid, let yourself be abused and shout, “compassion, compassion, compassion.” But that’s not even compassion. It is just stupidity. Compassion is not stupid. It is intelligent. It knows what is good and what is bad for that person and for you. Buddha’s compassion tells us, “Lead everyone to total enlightenment. Lead everyone to the state of Buddhahood.” That is compassion. It is not encouraging anyone to abuse anyone or everyone. That’s not compassion, that’s stupidity. That is good to know. Otherwise it gets very blurry.

0:22

Also it is very important to just be able to say no. But just saying no doesn’t make you great. You have to know where to say no and where to say yes. That’s intelligence. That is the basis of compassion, actually. With the excuse of compassion you cannot bring a thief and murderer into your home. The thief and murderer will not have compassion for you. They will kill you and steal from you. To let them in is an act of stupidity. Compassion will lead to you get away from the murderer and thief, away from getting hurt. That is compassion. Encouraging abuse is not compassion. That’s important to notice. Otherwise it may look like compassion but is encouraging abuse. You can’t do that. Abusing is a disease that an individual gets. If you don’t stop the abuse they will not only abuse one person, but two, three, four and then always. So you have to stop that. If you have compassion you have to stop that. That doesn’t mean you have to kill that person, but you don’t provide any opportunities for abuse. I didn’t intend to talk about that that, the somebody asked the question and that person is here today, so I had to say it. I am sorry that everybody had to listen to that. But if it benefits one it means it will benefit many as well. Many people may need to hear that.

Let me continue with my subject: developing compassion. First and foremost you have to develop compassion for yourself. You may not like that I say. I might not even be correct English what I am going to say. Loving yourself may not be the right language. But is it necessary. If you don’t have compassion for yourself, if you don’t care about yourself you will not be able to care about others. Caring and love all must begin from your own side. The good old western saying is true: Charity begins at home. At least it is a good old American saying, but I am sure Europeans say that too. So compassion begins at home. When you have compassion for yourself you have to do the right thing for you and avoid doing the wrong thing for you. That is compassion – not only avoid abuse, but avoid negativities. If you cannot avoid negativities then you have a lot of negative consequences. Dharma practice, Buddhist practice, means to avoid negativities and building positivities. That’s the essence of Buddhism.

What is Buddhism? What is Tibetan Buddhism? It doesn’t mean to go and worship. It doesn’t say to get abused. It doesn’t say to sacrifice yourself. But it does say: Care about yourself. Avoid negativities and build positivities as much as you can. That’s the best you can do. That’s bus stop Buddhism. If somebody at a bus stop asks you, “What is Buddhism?” That’s what it is. It doesn’t mean going to church or the temple and worship. Of course if you do that it’s great. Praying at a temple is fine, but it is not required. What’s required is watching your mind. That’s the most important. We have one thing in our possession, one precious thing that you cannot buy for billions of dollars and that is our mind.

0:30

A lot of people want to ignore the mind. But it is our most important possession. You cannot buy it for a billion dollars. Fortunately we all have it. Whether you are going to care or not is up to you. It is your possession, your wealth. It is your life and it is your mind. That’s what human beings have. All our achievements – like those of Bill Gates and other wealthy people – are made by the mind. All the inventions that were made, including those by Steve Jobs, who was a Buddhist, were made by the mind. If you want to ignore yourself and treat yourself as useless and helpless, you are welcome. Nobody objects. It is your right. But if you think your mind is capable, that you can do something, not only materially but also spiritually, including helping others, you have it. You have your mind. not only materially but also spiritually, including helping others, you have it. You have your mind. When you talk about spirituality or dharma, truly speaking you are dealing with the mind. Physically, whichever way you are dressed, that doesn’t matter. You can be dressed up like a cardinal or bishop or like a saint or something, but the dress doesn’t make you a saint. Two years ago I had a birthday celebration here in Holland and St. Niklas came and visited. But that doesn’t make that person into St. Niklas. Similarly, any dress you wear, that doesn’t become the person. But if the mind comes up to that level that makes a difference.

0:34

Actually, it controls our life. Our life is managed by our mind. When the mind is engaged in negative feelings such as hatred, then everything becomes hatred. Throughout almost all the 8 years of George Bush’s presidential period our minds were mostly engaged in hatred and fear. Can you imagine that an administration can make the whole world feel that way? That is the mind power. But everyone is somehow happy to entertain hatred. Similarly, anger. You are angry with yourself and everybody else who you come across. You don’t want to talk about it, you don’t want to see people, you withdraw. All these problems are again due to the mind. You let the mind be controlled by anger and hatred.

Vice versa, you can also let the mind be controlled by obsession and attachment. Why does all this happen? Because we are ignorant. Honestly. I am sorry. I should have said: we are all so intelligent and wonderful. That’s why I normally say and I also feel that way. But when you think about you let your mind be controlled by negative emotions it shows you are ignorant. Honestly. The people who get miserable do so because of negative emotions and that is stupid. The mind of ignorance allows for making yourself stupid. You will say, “I have no control, I can’t help it.” But that’s not true. You do have control. Your mind is your mind, nobody else’s, unless you have gone crazy. When you are crazy you can’t do anything, because you have no control over managing your mind at all. But if you are not crazy, if you are okay, you do have control over your mind. Whatever your mind entertains makes a difference in your life.

Can you imagine, myself included, that we get ourselves entertained by violence in the movies and tv shows? People watch that. How many people watch boxing fights? I don’t, actually, but I get entertained by those intrigue, little fighting movies. I don’t really like the World War type of thing, but war does entertain me. So my mind is being influenced by hatred. Why do we get entertained by negativity? Because it is feeding our own addictions. Honestly. That’s what it is. We get entertained by fighting, by sexual expressions, because it is feeding our own addictions. That indicates that our mind can do everything. So try to engage your mind in the positive way. That’s very difficult, because we don’t have virtuous addictions. We don’t have addictions to non-killing. We don’t have addictions to faith. Faith is something we would like to engage in, because we want something a little more than the material things. But we don’t have that addiction, so we don’t get entertained by it. On the contrary, not only does it not feed our addictions, but it goes against our addictions. So we don’t enjoy it much. Our life is run quite a lot by addictions. We feel comfortable with our addictions because we are used to them. When you come to the spiritual path, thinking in a different way, you feel uncomfortable. It is not the same old cozy bed that we used to sleep in every night. Honestly. That’s because we are not addicted to that. It shows that mind controls everything. When you are making corrections, when you want to improve your life you have to begin there.

0:43

I don’t mean you should ignore your livelihood. It is obvious that you have to take care of that. But improving yourself happens at the mind level. Try to reject the addictions you have. We always have very negative addictions. Most of our addictions are negative, that’s why we are in this condition today. If we had better addictions we would have become Buddha already or something better, honestly. So mind is the one. Always try to avoid negative thoughts, and deeds, being suspicious of others, always thinking of their negative qualities, unable to see their positive qualities. These are the negativities we are addicted to. It is important to deal with your mind. Watch it and guide it properly. Instead of hatred, try to develop care, compassion and love. The change from negative addictions to positive deeds is actually spiritual practice. That’s actually Tibetan Buddhism. So disciplining your mind is necessary. If you can discipline your mind it is always better. The person with discipline always gets much more success than undisciplined people. You know that. Sometimes it is hard to get disciplined, but to discipline your mind is not that difficult. It is difficult, because you try to make the right decision and you are not able to carry it out but slip back into the addiction. That’s addiction. Nothing surprising or disappointing. Because we are addicted, that’s why we go back. But the discipline you have to have here is to bring yourself self. If you don’t bring yourself back, who else will? When you fall from something else, no surprise. But don’t lie down there. If you fall on the ground, get up. You don’t lie down there saying, “Now that I fell I am just going to sit here on the ground.” That’s not right. You have to get up.

Falling happens, because we are human beings. No surprise there. But you have to make sure that you get up again. That is intelligence. Not getting up, saying, “I fell anyway, so I am going to just lie down in the middle of the street” that is stupid. We all know that. When you want to do that for yourself, maybe not literally in the street, but psychologically, when you fall and you don’t want to get up, realize that is stupid and get up. Be intelligent. In any case it is the mind that pushes you either the right way or the wrong way. Who controls your mind? Only you, nobody else. No power in the world, nobody controls your mind. Not Washington, not Mexico, not Beijing, not Moscow and also not Den Haag. Honestly. It is only you yourself who controls your mind.

Tibetan Buddhism tells us to try to think about positives. Try to think and engage in positives. You can say words and put your thoughts with that. Positive thinking will bring positive actions. Negative thinking will bring negative actions. If you let your mind go under the control of hatred or obsession that will bring more hatred and obsession. These are the sources of unhappiness and misery. If our thoughts are positive, with love, compassion, wisdom, faith and so on, that will bring joy and happiness to our lives.

The bottom line is that this is in nobody’s control except yours. It is in your own hand. Right now, it is in your hand to determine whether your future life is going to be happy or miserable. Right now, if you want to let yourself be abused, if you want to take undue advantage of others, if you want to hurt someone, you are creating the exact consequences for yourself. That is important to know. Your mind, your thought process is in your own hands. That is discipline. That is morality. That is concentration. That is caring for yourself. That is love for yourself. Love doesn’t have to be something else. That’s what it is. So if you are on the spiritual path or interested in the spiritual path, if you want to help yourself, that is the way to do it.

0:53

Don’t let your mind run in the negative way. Don’t let your mind control you negatively. Let your mind run with the positive. Let your life have a positive influence. That positive influence will bring you joy and happiness. That is your habit building. It doesn’t have to be a sophisticated religion like Tibetan Buddhism. If you look carefully, the Judeo-Christian tradition will tell you the same thing. The Hindu-Buddhist tradition will tell you the same thing. The respectable society will tell you the same thing. So this is important.

Recently I saw a movie called “Iron Lady”. You know who she is. In that movie someone says:

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

What we think we become.

To me that is Tibetan Buddhism. Honestly. What we think we become. Why? There is nothing pre-fixed. Everything is dependent origination. That is Buddha’s wisdom. Where do the conditions and causes come from? Our mind. Therefore we really have to be watching our mind, improving ourselves and bringing happiness to ourselves. That is the key within our own mind. I don’t want to say “in our brain”. Where I come from, the mind is somewhere around the hear area. Wherever it is, that is the mind. That is the real essence of discipline, morality, and that is how you bring compassion, love and that is how you become a Buddha. Honestly, that is how it is. It really doesn’t have to be some kind of funny way of doing things. Be very gentle and watch your mind and take it through that process. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about today in this session on “Tibetan Buddhism with Gelek Rimpoche”. Thank you.

END OF WEBAST

0:58

Okay, now we can relax. Thank you. Are there any questions from here?

Audience: How do you know for sure that there is negativity coming from the other person or whether it is your own negativity projected onto that person?

Rimpoche: Good question. Honestly. One always has to think. Whatever the other person does we have to be sure not to follow that act. If the other person is showing a temper and doing all kinds of things, if we take that personally, thinking, “He is doing that to me and I can’t take it any more” that means he is getting at you. Instead think, “Whatever he does, let him do it. I like to be whatever I am” and don’t bother. That may not be virtue, but it also may not be negative. But if you follow in his footsteps and act in that way yourself, then it becomes negative. Whether he is really angry or is pretending to be angry or whether you are projecting that I don’t know. Good question. It depends on the circumstances and time. But whatever he may do, what matters is that we ourselves don’t act accordingly.

Audience: How can you truly accept yourself if you reject your own negativity?

Rimpoche: The true “me” or “you” is pure, it is not negative. You know that. You won’t be able to say that the true “me” is negative. Then you must be evil or the devil or something. That is not the case. So therefore the true “you” or “me” is pure. Renouncing the negative does not make me less at all. It actually makes me better, because the true “me” is pure.

1:04

Audience: When you reject the negativity in yourself, how do you know there is not something positive in that negativity?

Rimpoche: Let’s say this: An anger-less individual is better person than an angry individual. Or do you think the angry individual is better than the anger-less one?

Audience: That depends what you mean by anger.

Rimpoche: An angry person is disturbed in their peaceful mind, they don’t like what they see, hear and experience. They hate what they see and hear and want to do something very strongly against that. Roughly speaking that is anger. So a person who is reacting very roughly to a situation and resenting – is that better or is a person who is reacting gently and smoothly better? If the gentle, smooth way is better, that is anger-less and it is the rejection of anger. If the rough person’s way is better, then that is with anger. Looking at that and making your own choice is Buddhism.

Audience: What is the ground and function of emotions?

Rimpoche: Emotions are basically, as I understand it, grown out of not knowing. Even in our daily life, misunderstanding and miscommunication creates un-smoothness. Likewise, most of the negative emotions are actually coming out of not knowing the true reality. Basically we say that when we have a problem “he or she doesn’t understand. They don’t get it.” By not getting it there is bigger disturbance and a bigger problem. So all the negative emotions are coming from a lack of truth, clarity and a lack of understanding. Positive emotions come out of knowledge. Negative emotions come out of ignorance.

Audience: I am working in the public health system and am regularly confronted with people’s negativities. How can I keep on working in that situation when negativities are coming to me, but still stay in touch with the other person and not lose myself?

Rimpoche: True. Don’t lose yourself. Sometimes you are in an environment where everybody is negative, everything is wrong. Tibetan Buddhism tells us when we get that we can do two things:

One: recognize that this is the result of my negative karma that I had created earlier.

Two: by my experiencing this may anybody else not have to experience this. May my experience substitute for anybody else having to take such a situation. When you do that it might not be changing the situation immediately, but it is very beneficial because it purifies the negativity that we have – which makes us experience that. Secondly, this is one of the positive virtues we can really have. Whatever you do, under any circumstances, one should not get angry with that person or the situation or the environment, because anger has severe consequences. Handle the situation immediately like that and then thereafter, you will see what you can do.

Audience: How do I deal with a person who is hurting me – unintentionally perhaps – by not responding negatively and not becoming angry, but also not being stupid?

Rimpoche: You can tell that person: you are hurting me. That person may be surprised, saying, “I didn’t hurt you.” That person’s understanding of what is hurting may only refer to physical hurt. What we are talking about is mentally hurting. In such situations always try to bring both persons together by getting the understanding in clear, open air. It may have difficult consequences. It may not. It depends on the person. But if it brings difficult consequences, it is not your fault. I am sorry, it is rather abrupt, but that’s the reality.

Audience: Can you say something about the community of Buddhist monks? How do they deal with other? Are they like some kind of family?

Rimpoche: They are a community. That’s called sangha. It depends on the monastery and it’s rules and regulations and sometimes the monastery provides the monks with what they need, like food, clothes, etc, but many times the individual has to work that out. During the earlier times in India, in Buddha’s time and afterwards, and even today in South-East Asian countries, the monks and nuns go out and people in the community serve them food. Tibet doesn’t have that. So it the monastery itself that is responsible and in many cases the individual.

1:26 Thank you so much