Archive Result

Soundfile 19900602GRAALR4

Speaker Gelek Rimpoche

Location Ann Arbor

Topic Lamrim files

Transcriber Robin Trimarchi

Date 02252023

(Note: student comments are edited, paraphrased and quoted, to give context to Rimpoche’s responses)

0:00:00.0 [tape begins with student speaking mid-comment. Relating equally with no favorites or nonfavorites] Okay. Now listen. Let me ask you one more question. When you talk about this equanimity, I will try to smoothing all sentient beings, or are we try to smoothing what? [students: inaudible] Good. You’re not try to smoothing over there, but you’re try to smoothing here. Okay? I will try to, ah, when we’re talking about equanimity, when we’re talking about smoothing in here, what are we talking about it again? [student comment: attachment to anger] What does that mean? Attachment to anger, what does it mean? Who said that? What does that mean? I don’t mean what is attachment to anger. But attachment to anger, what does that mean? [student continues: working with anger and attachment to eliminate them in abuse to other people ...] That means smooth [student: smoothing out] Okay. Smoothing of anger, attachment, within our mind. Okay? So, actually there are three or four kinds of equanimities. Ah, one equanimity is called ‘feeling equanimity,’ uh, which comes feeling. Which is, ah, a part of Four Mindfulness. Um, another is ‘perception equanimity,’ and another is, ah, ‘limitless equanimity.’ So, limitless equanimity is the, we’re talking about this equanimity. And it’s not necessarily limitless equanimity is the best equanimity, because just because it says the limitless. That’s not necessarily mean it is the highest and best. But what we are talking here to be cause of the, ah, bodhimind, or the altruistic mind, is we are talking about immeasurable. Immeasurable equanimity. Sometimes people call limitless and other people call immeasurable. That’s what equanimity. So, there are four, five, different equanimities. So, out of that, we recognize that. [side comment to student]

0:03:02.7 Okay. So, so, at the time of equanimity, we’re last night we talk about it. We talk and we say, we try to get rid of, we try to work with our anger. And we try to work with our excessive attachment. Work with anger, work with attachment. So, the point what (name) made yesterday, it was wonderful point, he said, ‘I have a problem. I get angry with that. And that is the really expensive problem.’ So, now you have to work with this. And how. (Names a student) [student responds: … have to identify the delusion that creates the anger, and trace it back to the selfishness …] Can you, can you trace, can you trace that far? [student responds: … before that, look at the situation where they hurt you, then think about impermanence …] Are you using, are you just saying out of your head, or … [student: yes] Okay. So, then I pass you. I’ll switch to (name). Work with anger. (long pause). [student comment: (GR wants her to give a few suggestions; long pause without answer] Well, let me ask you a question. (Name) said, ‘when I think about equanimity, I get angry.’ So, then, what should he do?

0:05:42.0 [student (summarized and paraphrased): … anger is arising during meditation a few things help … one, examining what I am experiencing anger about … it is always related to an action or some way on the part of that person that I respond to that’s making me very angry. Fully look at how much I disregard or disrespect, or abhor whatever that is. Then look at the individual and work on experiencing a separation between the person and the behaviors. Then, I see those behaviors and look at myself and ask, ‘can I say that I am free of those possibilities … I have not freed myself of anger and attachment … I could behave the same way, or have behaved the same way. Then start to see those patterns of behavior and those beings are not one and the same. They are related through action but it’s a passing relationship. Then can experience the desire to overcome that instant in myself, and no longer focused on that person. Realizing how awful those instincts are, then turn back onto myself, and recognize that I must uproot those instincts, I also have those possibilities, and as long as I don’t uproot those instincts I also have those possibilities, and how awful that is … then begin to want to uproot those possibilities in myself because if I can’t stand that in someone else, how can I live with it within me, focus on myself …

0:08:39.6 [continued: … helps me see that person(s) as separate from their actions and experience a direct feeling about the action. Also, from impermanence, think about focusing on the temporary nature of relationships, how friends change to enemies and those things, developing more patience by recognizing that when people close to me do something terrible, I still have room for them. Yet, someone I don’t cherish becomes a terrible person … that helps to see how we tolerate those close, but not so much others …]

0:10:49.0 If you could imagine, as (name) is saying just now, qualities I have, these people have this anger quality, how can I stand with myself in that quality. That is, uh, very hard. And sometimes when you see other people who get so angry and losing their control completely, and looks like, eh, their faces show, the people are really angry their faces, I always call it like a monkey’s (chuckles), monkey’s what? Huh? Yeah. Not even look like monkey but looks like monkey’s behind. Like monkey turned the other way around. Thank you, I really have this problem. I don’t how you, as well as, um, (name), too. [student comments: … it’s cold and calculated people that challenge her] That is changing from anger into the third mind thing. You know, there are three mental things, what it’s called? [TIBETAN] [student comment: ill will, envy, and distorted mind. Antagonistic outlook]. You know, it’s out of this ten non-virtuous, uh, three are the false speech, three mind. What are they? [student: coveting, greed, harmful wishes and wrong view] Harmful wishes (?), and what are other two. [students respond: coveting …] One. Wrong view, two. [students: wish to harm] What is the difference between the coveting and the wish to harm? [student responds: coveting is desiring things other people have through jealousy, that sort of thing]

0:13:57.4 That’s it. Okay, now wish to harm when in a cold-blooded, you know, sort of, show no temper. And, uh, then you know, they really wanted to get you. Sort of, very manipulated, you know what we call that? Call that 19th century Chinese politics. [student comments: can have that state of mind in the state of anger, or not accompanied by anger] Yeah, that’s right. [student continues: … results often worse when not accompanied by anger] Yes. [student continues: it’s not just a passionate outburst, it’s very cold and calculating, and planned. (different student): it seems like there’s hatred there …] Yes. Yes. Yes. There’s definitely hatred. Very strong hatred. And what happens is, this strong bursting anger is changing, it is, it is from the anger into going deeper. And deep rooted, lasting anger. Now it becomes even deeper so that the category will be shifted from there into the box, you know. If you, if you put them in different boxes. So, then the boxes, of course, it’s connected anger. Connected. But then it is become more than angry. And more than angry. And that has with very few people. Very few people. People who are serious people. They have that. And uh, silly fellow like me will not have that. [student comment: … these days there is a lack of respect for life, like it’s a cartoon …] Very angry. [student continues: they’re not angry, I don’t see it with the same malice intent as somebody who is cold, calculating and wants to destroy, but a disregard …] Disregard to life. Yeah. Yeah. Desensitive. [students keep talking on this] Just do it, yeah. Yeah. That’s the, I didn’t, I did not try to say this are the better, you know. That’s very bad. But I think it is falls to different box, again. Not in the, on the computer you put in down in different box. Huh?

0:16:58.6 Yeah, it’s active box, sure. It is active box, sure. No doubt about it. But still, when you’re talking about anger, you have to remember one thing. When we’re talking about all this, particularly mentioning certain things, and we say, well, that doesn’t mean, that doesn’t mean, that not mean they’re better than that. It meaning it belongs to different category. And which is more worse category when you compare them, then we see that. You know, we talk about the abstract. So, I mean, the cold, I mean, yeah, people kill lot of people round for no reason, actually, almost, you know. I mean, without, life has no value sort of thing, you know. [student comment: … you’re locating the source of this stuff out there … it’s the person who kills, or the person who makes you angry … what confuses me when I focus on that, is that I tend to be harder on myself, I don’t often see myself as a victim … when bad things happen, I see that I had something to do with it, and I get angry at what’s out there, but also angry at self-tendencies or delusions that allowed something to happen … need personal equanimity for myself before focusing on smoothing out my feelings about others. It’s confusing.] I don’t think it has to be confused. You can, you can focus on the others, you can focus on yourself. And uh, getting angry to ourself is, erm, equally bad, and equal anger as getting angry to other person. It has the same, same effect, same expenses, everything is same. It is nothing different. You have no right to get angry to yourself. [student comment: … can’t be at peace with what’s out there if you’re not at peace with yourself] Sure. [student continues: … and if one part of me dislikes this other part of me, no matter who’s out there, they can’t be on my side because I’m not on my side completely … so I need compassion on the inside first, then can think in terms of being equal with what’s out there …]

0:19:49.9 But that is principle we always, always talk, don’t we? We say, unless you have compassion to yourself you cannot have compassion to others, and this and that. We spend most of our time try to talk between com, before Common with the, Common with the, the Lower Level. And we have already established that. [student comment: … resolve the conflict within ourselves or there is no use trying to establish equanimity with others … haven’t talked much about removing the conflict within ourselves, removing self-loathing, self-destruction, self-hatred, the internalized stuff. (different students comment: … this is about using a tool to get inside, it’s not about smoothing out the person who ticked you off, it has nothing to do with that …] We’ve asked that question beginning here today. We said, ‘what is equanimity? Are we try to smooth things over there? Are we try to smooth things in here?’ We already talked that. So, we’re using the analogy of using external. And ah, but when you work on external or internal, I mean, we’re talking about every, the principle of working will be the same thing. Whether you focus on inside yourself as you as object, or whether you focus as enemy as object. It is easy to talk on enemy as object, so we use that as example.

0:22:57.5 So, but focusing here or there, or, but the main idea is you’re not try to smooth with the three people over there. You can’t even do it. I mean, even your aim is what we talked last night, so much emphasize we did yesterday. The equanimity is, eh, is to equal them in your view, in your mind, in your perceiving. Whether it is on you or others, the whole object is to smoothing within you. If you feel easy to use yourself as object, go ahead. I mean, that’s great. If you find somebody else as object, go ahead. Great. But what you needed, is we needed to smoothing our perception and our mental perception. And it is influence, and what that do to our mind. And that has to be smoothed. That’s the main thing. I mean, really. And so, doesn’t matter whether you use this or that. And for someone people, as you say, it is absolutely important to use on yourself before you see the others. Some people it’s easier to see anger on others than to see yourself. So, that is totally, I think, individualized. Some people will have, will see totally getting angry on others, but never think angry, angry on me. Never think. And they might not even get it. Because they will think, ‘whatever I do is the right thing I did, but I been screwed up by somebody else, just by doing this, by doing that, by doing this, by doing that. I been screwed up. But it’s not me who screwed me up, but somebody else who did it,’ so people get angry that way, some people. That is, you know, we know, you know, I know, yeah, that’s how it is. But some people say, ‘well, it’s not my, not their fault, it is me who did it. I have done this, I have done, now I’m getting this trouble because I did this, I did that.’ And that person has a tendency of getting angry on that person. The person inside rather than outside. As a matter of fact, um, I noticed that getting angry to yourself is more in America. Really. I do not know why. Um, I didn’t see much among the Tibetans. They always blame toward the other person, because they’re so, you know, (ba, ba, ba, ba) and go and blame the other person. And rather than blaming … huh? [student comment: it’s the guilt thing] Oh, I see.

0:25:59.7 Whatever it is, but, I know, I mean, I know you been raising hands all along, but. Uh, so, I did really notice in America they get angry more on the people, and (name) think it’s because of the guilt business. [student comments: you’re taught that anger is a bad feeling, you should never express anger, and that’s the kind of neurosis that people are raised with. It’s difficult to sort through it when we encounter Buddhism that says anger is bad. I’ve been trying to get over that problem for a long time. The solution involves accepting it first … recognize one’s anger … student talks over] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is the first step, for sure. That is definitely first step. And the second step is then after recognition, then, then you can, then all, then you can apply all this techniques in the Buddhist books and all other books talk about this. But you cannot apply them unless you recognize. I mean, you keep on denying, ‘I don’t have anger, but so and so is angry. So and so is. I don’t have anger.’ If you keep on denying that, you cannot work with the anger at all. That’s definitely true. You know, that’s absolutely true. There’s no question about it. [student comment: then you project it] Huh? [student comment: when you sit on your anger, you project it and see the world as threatening] You know, somebody told me a, a, a story. Guy is driving on the wrong direction on highway, one guy is driving on the wrong direction on highway somewhere. Was that you? Someone told me. And he was listening on the radio, and suddenly, and the radio goes on say, announcing on such and such a road, and somebody was driving in the wrong direction so be careful. Warn everybody. And he looks around, says, ‘Oh, yeah, one person driving wrong way. There hundreds of them coming ….!!’ [students laugh] There hundreds of them going in the wrong direction. So, that, this is an example for this. So, you deny I’m angry, but everybody, I’m not angry but everybody’s angry, you know. (chuckles) So, this is the example, that what could think. Yes? [student comment: … trying to work with the idea of ‘give the victory to others,’ always be the loser in an argument … how to make the distinction between getting what I want and being in conflict with someone else’s wants]

0:29:24.3 Then you see who is more powerful. [student continues: … internalize anger and feeling victimized. Also isn’t comfortable with being a victor and someone else loses …] Well, you, you set out very diplomatically, that’s what you do. Yeah. Balance. Why not? Why not? Neither you have to be victor, nor you have to be winner. Oh, victor or victim. Well, either you have to be victor or you have to be victim. So, you can be neutral. And you can be in between, balance. That is, eh, I don’t think it’s difficult. [student comment: … in dealing with anger, you deal with the consequences of anger, how sick it makes you feel, how it’s so devastating to relationships, etc. … because it becomes so imprinted on our minds, that there is not anger because we recognize the … ] I’m not sure whether there’s no anger. You, it, you know, sometimes it, sometimes it works other way, too. I mean, you say one, anger is bad I should not show it. So, it, sometimes instead of having the anger get out, and also sometime it pushes the anger, stressing and hiding the anger. So, that also have to be aware of it. And because sometime instead of getting anger out of it, it gives you a little sanctuary to hide back, you know. Sort of, you know, hide back. And that you have to make sure, sure, make sure it doesn’t go that way. Because if that goes, instead of, you know, helping it goes in the opposite direction. So, what we have expression in Tibetan, a saying [TIBETAN], protecting deity becomes, eh, harming ego. You know, you are using a method to get anger out of it, it becomes anger protection. I mean, instead of your deity, which you get protection, it becomes, eh, eh, evil who harm you. Then it becomes very bad. Difficult to handle. So, that also have to take care of. I mean, sort of, sort of, again it is madhyamaka. The central path. This is very, very important. Yeah, I know you been reading [?]. I give you opportunity [voice trails off]

0:32:31.6 Yes, you are ... [student comments: … feeling of anger, it’s an expression of something deeper that comes from a deep fear of loss of something in myself, of being manipulated … broken trust … deep hurt … helpless feeling … then to defend the sense of self in the confusion, anger is one of the expressions … anger, withholding, tears and fear … trying to see it as a feeling of rejection or hurt from someone I held as dear and trusted … ] So, then what would you do? [student continues: I don’t know … explore the aspects of what we’re going through … try to terms in how to deal with … look the person in the eye without projecting the anger, fear and helplessness … we’re vulnerable, open, hurt … how do we stop that … maintain our sense of identity or self with that person … need some aspect of self-defense to survive in the world … it’s confusing] I don’t think it’s confusion. I think, eh, I think, eh, I think what you do is right. So, you know what happened is, you got angry, wait, wait, wait, let me say it. You got angry, you, you passed that stage, you’re hurt, you’re afraid, and you have a sense of losing.

0:35:26.3 And then also, that’s exactly what happens. You get confused, you don’t know how to act with that person. Do I have to act as a friend? Do I act as enemy? Or what do I do? So, that’s totally confusion state. What message should I give to them? What should I do? Or should I not see them at all? Should I not look them in the eye at all? Or, this is, eh, I mean, this is the after effect, of a, anger after effect. Fear after effects of all these things. So, in such a cases, what would you do? How do you act? Madame positive? How do I act? [student comments: … with the sense of loss, look at what we think is lost …] What did you say? Let, let me give you one example. Okay. You have a very trusted boyfriend. Okay. You been years together and very trust each other. And suddenly you realize he has betrayed you. Right? Suddenly betrayed you and treat you like dirt. He doesn’t even exist. So, what would you do? [student comments: … in that betrayal of trust, feel something deep within, only self is lost] Yeah, I know. This we all know. But how will you act? How you, how you encounter that person? That’s question. Huh? What did you say? [students comment and laughter] Nobody going to believe. Who cares? How would you, how would you encounter? Who cares whether they believe it or not? Why you afraid? See, see. [students talking: nobody would believe it] Doesn’t matter. So, doesn’t matter. [students and GR talking over each other] Listen (name), listen. Nobody going to believe me is another fear you are getting into. Again. [student responds] Say, it. Doesn’t matter. Who cares whether they believe it or not? You say it sincerely from your heart. [student continues: … you’re the one experiencing all these things. The person is acted from their place, their delusions and choices … they weren’t doing something to me … they were doing something out of their own delusions. I’m hurt by it, I experience it. But I’m the one who goes into ‘what got hurt,’ and that openness and vulnerability, and is there really a loss? … maybe attachment to my expectations of how that person should behave … that’s where I work … is there really something taken away from me] That’s beautiful. [student finishes: no]

0:39:00.0 That’s it. Lot of people say, ‘yeah.’ Nobody said that’s not true. So, why you afraid of people don’t believe it? [student responds: … some people still want to be angry, they don’t listen] (laughter) [student continues: … give it time, too … can’t make it happen right away] Good. Yeah. So, when you can’t do that, what would you do? You know, whether that is true or not true, it is different matter, again. Whether that is true or not true it is different matter. We try to find solution how to deal that. [student continues to talk over a bit] If you, true, yeah. Yes. Yeah. When you can’t do that, what would you do? [student continues: … you try to focus on loving actions towards yourself … don’t repress the anger ... let yourself feel the pain] In other words, in other words, you say, ‘oh, poor me.’ [group response: no!] (GR chuckles) Huh? Far from that? Okay. How do you make, how do make loving to yourself? Poor me, I’m suffering here. I want to remove it. Isn’t it? [student responds: … don’t run away from the pain, it won’t last forever] So, that means, that means, that means your petting yourself, right? Pampering yourself. [many respond] Wait a minute. [student comments: … see it as being your own best friend … you would want to alleviate their suffering … and see the situation as it is so you can work with it and change it … kindly support the person, etc. … can separate identification with attachment to self and the problem … and support who the person is for the time being … ] That means you support yourself. Great. That’s, I mean, that is the right thing to do. Okay? That’s really right. But, then, when you encounter with the person, how you act?

0:42:00.5 That’s, that’s the (name’s) question. I think it’s a practical question. [student responds: … sometimes you can encounter with the person for a while …] That’s right. That’s right. [student continues: … give yourself space … if you know it’s going to raise anger in you, it will totally distract you, and rip you … so you can’t do that for awhile] But in, all of sudden you frustrate in certain circumstances. You meet, what would you do? So, so, you pretend not to see that person. Or you don’t look at that person. Or, when that person comes you should (makes a noise) and go out that way. Or what? [group is chattering] Huh? Because you can, you know, if you are, if you’re condition is okay, you can manage yourself, you can retreat yourself, and you don’t encounter. That’s fine. Let, let, no let, no, let the time heal you, and then you can face it, you can handle it. That’s wonderful thing. That’s what you said. It’s perfect. That is the problem (name). Okay. But, but in case, okay, yeah, [students talking over] let’s, let’s say, let’s say, both are you working in one place. You both are working in one place. And you have to face it every day. What would you do? You’re not ready, what would you do? Would you treat that person doesn’t exist? Or don’t look at eyes? Or don’t talk to? Or, would you, uh, would you go and talk? Or what would you do? [student comments: … combination of things … must maintain your own view of yourself … if you see yourself as a loving person, you don’t pretend to be loving … you know that for the time being you’re not perfectly situated … you limit it … don’t go overboard to be what you are not for the time being …] But then, but then, but, but, but then when you see the other person you go (boom boom). What would you do? Your anger burns you. [student comments: inaudible] Cut there. Cut here, right? [student: you catch yourself. students pause]

0:45:04.3 [student comment: … if confronted you must face that person, and don’t feel ready to be balance about it … try to avoid …] Say you, you, you, you’re this [can’t catch this], and that fellow and you’re working in one office. And you see him every day, then what would you do? [student responds: … try to minimize contact … try to keep in perspective as much as possible … focus on the impersonal aspects … avoid the fire … work it out over time … time is a big factor] That’s definitely true. But if you don’t have the time. This is. We’re talking very, very, very, very, what you call it? Rather, uh, we are very, sort of, going through a very certain, you’re getting much more sharper than usually what we deal. You’re really producing circumstances which almost impossible there. But it is possible to some people. So, what would you do? So, that’s what we’re going to that point. [student comments: … say that it’s two people … both have a problem … we think there is a victor and a loser … but you both have the same problem … sometimes you can go to the person and communicate that we have this problem, so when we’re together we’ll stick to the point and that’s that … communicate honestly that you’re angry with the person and can’t deal with them very well … do it a little at a time …]

0:47:49.3 Okay. Probably, I don’t know. Yes (name). [student begins to comment. Tape stops and restarts] So, many people talking I didn’t even hear it. Can you stop that for a minute, please. What? [student comments: … it can be healthy to let go of the old relationship if it’s not going to come back … it might be gone … if you don’t, your actions will be motivated by trying to get it back …] Sure. Sure. [student continues. Others comment: … which opens up the possibility of improvement as well as the end of it … the other person might recognize that you are valuable and why have I treated them so badly … or that person might never get to that point … and you have to let that go …] That’s true. That’s, yeah, that’s true. The, the idea, I think the, the, I think this, eh, immediately letting it go, if holding on the person, encountering them, and making him or her feel what I feel, make them know what I feel, I want them to feel and experience what I feel and experience. And if you let those ideas go, then I think situation is much easier to handle. I want, I’m not going to let that person, I’m not going to let him go until I teach him a lesson how do I feel. If you have that feeling, it, it's still your holding the person. Even you don’t want it, you know, don’t want it, having the relation in the same old way. But even then, ‘I will only let him go if I, after teaching him a lesson.’ Or, you know. And that sort of, ‘I want, uh, I know that relation doesn’t repeat same thing, but I will let him feel what I felt it.’ So, as long as you have that, I think you are still having difficulty. If, as long as just, if you let all of them go, just, just like, you know, some kind of magic disappear the person out of your thought. But it’s not possible, but holding it, holding it, you have to keep on repeatedly telling, and telling yourself, reminding yourself, recognizing, ‘hey, it is changed.’ It’s not. It’s not.

0:51:03.0 It’s sort of, I should let it go. I don’t have to teach. I don’t have to teach a lesson. I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to do that. So, I think that may help for that circumstances. Makes things are open, makes things are easy, right? [students comment: … line from Ginsberg poem … ‘it’s never to late to do nothing at all … sometimes it’s helpful to remember that. (earlier student): … you can recognize a person behavior and let go of the attachment … but when you get into the idea of making them know how I feel … still totally attachment to them and identified with them being a part of you … ] Okay. Now you know what it help to letting go on this. Death and dying meditation. Impermanent. And all of them will help you. [student comment] And you remember, you have to remember, ‘I’m born alone. I will live alone. No matter, whatever it is. Right? Born alone and going alone. And that is the key factor on this point. [student comment] You have to make joke all the time (laughter) So, I think, uh, I think we find something to do. We really found something to feel here, and that’s very good way. I think that’s how we handle things. And that’s, that is the, that’s still on the point of equanimity. Remember, equanimity is not equal over there, equal here. Equal here, smoothing in here. Where and how to smoothing is the feelings and perceptions. And that will always find difficulties because of the anger, because of attachment. Anger/attachment together, jealously, all of them, three of them together. Really, you know, it’s sort of, that’s how it works. So, these are the things, can you, can somebody make good note on this? [side comments here. Tape stops and restarts]

0:54:24.5 … and then the first step what we talk last night was, what is the first step then? Huh? [student responds. Chatter. General conversation] Okay. So, the recognizing is, eh, that also, I think we talked very well, quite well. Um, recognizing. Do we recognize, try to recognize everybody. It’s not necessarily you have to recognize through the [?] phase of physical. But person to person. Heart to heart. Mind to mind. Recognition. Um, you try to do a very personalize here. Um, so, and uh, to be, to be able to recognize every being as your best friend one time or the another. And uh, to be able to look at carefully at that, and to be to see and recognize them as, uh, as uh, being your best friend is very hard to develop. When you talk, even when very hard to talk, to make sense. But uh, now at least we can find a way, how to communicate on that. We can talk, we can understand. But to gain that realization and development on that is very hard. It’s going to take helluva time to develop that. So, this is the obstacle. This is the block where everybody’s stuck. Everybody gets stuck here because this is the block. And um, once you get through here, the rest of them are, sort of, automatic.

0:57:31.8 So, doesn’t matter how much it takes here to develop that feeling, normally, maybe five years or ten years or twenty years or whatever it takes. Uh, that is the time to be spent. And uh, sort of, thinking that nothing’s going to happening, nothing’s happening, and sort of, short looking is not going to be, eh, beneficial. I mean, here, the [?] it is really time that, it’s going to take, eh, take up to the bodhimind and, uh, even after is, eh, sort of, really here now. Stuck in, stuck once here, I mean, it’s really funny, it looks like, you know, one little Buddhist point and making, recognizing everybody as, uh, best friend or been mother being or something like that. Sounds very little, um, a little bit of feed to a bird, you know. Looks like that. But actually, this is the, where you people get really stuck [voice fades]. And uh, so, taking here like couple of years, five, six, seven, ten, twenty, is not taking time at all. So, so, just remember that, and um, and no matter how much time they take on this it is worth to spend on this. Once you recognize that everybody, the beings are as your best friend, then it’s very simple. The best, the people become best friend to each other because they’re being helpful to each other. They been sensitive to each other. They been kind to each other. They been supportive to each other. So, somebody who have been kind, supporting, and sensitive to your needs and feelings, ‘I am grateful to that person.’ So, so, remembering the kindness is, it’s almost automatic. Automatic. The next there is almost automatic. Here, what you remember the kindness of the beings, um, you don’t have to say, ‘I’m grateful so and so because so and so give me money.’ Ah, it’s not that the, not that point we’re looking. We’re looking by the point, your best friend has been supporting you. Whatever the needs you have [voice fades].

1:00:28.8 They been sensitive to you. They been, sort of, in, ah, tune with your needs. And um, whenever you really needed, they’re there. Sort of, you know what I mean. And then when they really needed, you’re there. That sort of thing. It’s been something, should be very good. So, it’s almost, if you can develop the recognition of best friend being point, then the kindness is remembered. And then, sort of, for analogy, for analogy, sensitive mother recognition has been given. So, the analogy is to give the mother’s kindness, the mother’s love, to the children. And mother choose to die herself instead of child dying. Mother choose to get sick herself instead of child getting sick. The mother choose to, that’s they always do, don’t they? Don’t look everyone as a human being mothers, because sometimes that’s a problem for us. If you look for the birds, if you look for the animals, if you look for, for, not the animals and birds, they’re natural inclining of mother protecting the puppies and, uh, cats and so and forth. So, the analogy is worked on the mothers, so therefore, the kindness, love, and giving care given by the mother, as an example. And if it works with you, fine. And then for me, it doesn’t work anything else. Tried a number of different times. You try your father, you try your girlfriend, you try boyfriend, whatever you do. Somehow, it’s not there. The mothers are, somehow the mother had very special care for the kids. Um, I do not know about the kids about 18, 19, 20s, whether the mother have that thing or not. But sort of, when they’re bringing up like, eh, like eh, like eh really, sort of, blooming age, about that time, and when they would need it most as child [GR voice fades]. They really, they choose to die for you. Many of them do. The American mother [voice fades]. They do it. Many of them do it.

1:03:25.7 I was remembering one of the news that was, somehow a plane crash or something, I forgot. About two, three, months ago a plane crashed. They said they found a, a, a woman leaning on a young kid and died. So, so, sort of, you know, even they narrated (?) they must be mother and try to protect the kid uh, kid, you know. So, these are the indications. And that, even they remember at that time, and so, just come up here and there. I’m going to talk to you, something which normally you have heard number of times. They give this example of the, the tape going round, and uh, the, the, the, the mare horse been cut out, the baby coming out. I give that very often. So, but I’m not, today I’m going to give you different way, you know, so. So, when you look in that direction, so, once you recognize as an ultimate best, you been best friend, and then you automatically see their kindnesses are. Ah, kindness and compassion. You have not only, you looking at somebody who have not been your best friend for the last one year or twenty years, but [?] life after life. Something like a multi-billion years who have been your best friend. So, you looking at something like that. You’re not looking at, eh, somebody who have been my best friend for last two years. Or twenty years. And looking tremendously more than that. So, the recognition of kindness, remembering their kindness comes up easy. So, once you develop this kindness remembering comes up, then what you have to do? You have to repay that. You have to repay that. That is sort of natural. So, when we look in our normal attitude we will say, ‘well, I’m willing to do that much for this person. I’m willing to do that much. I’m willing to do this much.’ We have this sort of limitations we put out. And out of all the limitations we put out the most, the most limitation, most out going, we put up to our family. Right? Don’t we do that? Are you with me? Because I’m willing to do this much, I’m willing to do this much. Don’t we say that? So, out of this willingness we go at most, is most we go to the family, again. Why family? Because it is, again, the best friends. Best friend and you’re responsible, and blah, blah, blah, all this, you know, for whatever we have, those reasons are there.

1:06:33.5 So, all the reasons what we have on the family are more than that. Double the, tripled is available one somebody where you been looking at your best friend from multi-billion years. Multi-billion years. So, we, we, we, we make it responsible to the family because it’s my family. And how, how many years? How many years? Whatever, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, or sixty, or seventy, almost eighty years. Or maybe a hundred. At the most. So, that’s what we make, and more and more a valid reason. And then, here you’re looking at somebody who has really been your family for millions of years. [?] That also of the family who are not been with you, who came with contact, you lost contact for long time, and suddenly you found contact. And that type of family. So, therefore you are definitely willing to do much more. And beside that, it is our responsibility. And my responsibility. Even in the worldly things, if somebody had been good to you all the time, and when that person comes with a need, and uh, where you have a possibility of helping, you have capability of doing something, and if you refuse to do it and look the other way around, and how, sort of, how we consider that person? You know what I mean? Did you hear me (name)? You didn’t, that’s what I thought. Did you hear me, (names). Can you repeat? [student summarizes what GR just said. Asks another student to summarize: … when somebody has been kind and helpful to us, and we’re capable and able to help them if they come to us in a time of need and we turn our back, then how terrible that is, and how other people would view that being pretty lowdown and ungrateful]. And, sort of, condition here, the sentient beings are most of, ah, the being are best friend for many years. And many number of lifes. Are you with me?

1:09:27.8 Can you, are you with me from the recognition? You are. Remembering the kindness, you are. We’re on third step. So, when we are in, what is it? Indebt. Indebted to those, to those beings, and when they are in need of our, they really need and we have the possibility of helping it, and if we turn our back on them, what kind of person are we going to be? It’s going to be lower, lower character person. Such a character is not really appreciated by other people. Such characters are quick to be condemned by the, by other beings. So, if we, if you are, wanted to be good person, you make a good person by behaving good. By acting like good person. Because every human being, they may judge person only through their action rather than through their talk. Or, through the presentations. So, I mean, the action really makes a person to know. So, we don’t want make ourself a very lower quality who condemn [?]. [?], being by behaving, when somebody been so good to you all the time and when they need of the hour came to that person, and eh, if you can’t help it, it different matter. But even you have the capacity to help, the possibility, you turn around, turn back. Which is bad act. So, we don’t want to be bad, bad, so, we have to do something. So, all the sentient beings are here to seeking our help. Each one of us are here to seeking help. Why you are here? You’re seeking help. Why I’m here? I’m seeking help. Each one of us are seeking help.

1:12:28.2 Similarly, all the, all sentient beings, we look outside, those who think they’re helping themself, whatever it is, from Reagan to Bush, all of them are actually seeking help. In true reality Reagan is, was seeking help and is seeking help. So did the Bush, so did the Gorbachev. Although they think they’re helping themselves, but they’re seeking help. From whom? From the sentient beings. You just use the word ‘God,’ you say seeking help from God. But actually you’re seeking help from sentient beings. Who else? Whatever we have to do, we have to get some benefit. Whether it is material or spiritual benefit, to whom you turn? You turn to the sentient beings. Do you agree or you don’t agree? (Name) agrees. [student comments, GR makes joke]. No, the Sears is seeking help. Sears is seeking help from the customers. If there are no customer have, Sears will not even exist. [?] your long tower, Sears Tower, long time ago. [student comment] Somehow seeking, seeking Buddha is seeking help of sentient beings. [student comment] You’re seeking help from Buddha for what? No. Are you one, are you the one who are seeking help from Buddha or not? Yes or no, sir? [student responds] Then you are seeking help from Buddha. For what? For your job or for your money? Or something else. Personal benefit like what? Job or money? Or something else? Something else. What is that something else? Enlightenment or what is it? Okay. Enlightenment is only possible if you seek help from sentient beings.

1:15:31.1 Your bodhimind is only possible, without help from sentient beings not possible. If there is no sentient beings, you cannot even have compassion. Wonder why (chuckles). [side comment] If there is no sentient beings, there’s no compassion. You cannot develop compassion if there’s no sentient beings. So, remember, the Buddhas have come out of bodhisattvas. Bodhisattvas have come out of compassion. The compassion has been possible only because of sentient beings. So, you cannot get any help, you cannot get anything from Buddha or God without seeking help from sentient beings. No way. Whether it is material or spiritual, whatever it is. Can you see it? So, each one of us are seeking help. So, every sentient beings are seeking help. Because they desire happiness. I’m seeking happiness. When you seek Buddhahood, you are seeking happiness. (chuckles) Why, why you laughing? What are you laughing? [side talk and joking]

1:18:30.0 So, really true. And they’re seeking a joy and happy. Ah, so, who they’re seeking from? From us? From sentient beings. In other words, we’re all seeking happiness. [laughter and comments] So, by chance, we are in the position, at least we are try to make, do something. We really see what really is happiness (chuckles) and what is not. And a number of people really do not recognize the happiness at all. And that’s where the delusion and all this comes. So, I don’t think we have ever experience joy, we have ever experience pleasure. People really don’t know. So, people think it’s something different is happiness. Something different, because it’s not the usual, there’s something different. It’s happiness. That’s why some people even enjoy pain. They are there. There are people who enjoy pain. Don’t, don’t, don’t pretend you’re surprised, it’s true. Some people enjoy pain. So, we’re at least looking for the right direction, and this we know, whether we’re supposed to go right or left, at least. We’re supposed to, at least, supposed to know some path someway. So, we’re much better position, much better off than they are. All the sentient beings, most of them, whatever they’re doing, it almost like the analogy of the traditional Tibetan teachers used to do is, you have that mother over there that are kind, compassionate, who are been so good and caring for you.

1:21:29.6 Now that mother has become blind, and sort of, walking on the, on some kind of deep, ah, cliff where down there some kind of burning fire pitch. Pit of burning fire or something. And walking over the cliff while they’re totally blind. And any minute by taking one wrong step could be able to fall down there completely. And you has been their children who had all their eyes and legs and everything, okay. Then you sees that, you see that and, um, and you just sit there and seeing and let it fall. I mean, that is not nice, right? You cannot do that. You had to do something, because your legs okay, you got your eyes okay. You at least seeing. You may not have a power to hold completely, you may not have a power to help completely. But you just can’t sit there and watch it and let it fall. Right? So, you have to do something. Because your legs are okay, your eyes are okay, you’re capable. Your mind’s okay, you can use your mind. You can use something. You can do something. You have to do something. And similarly, in this condition, the sentient beings who have been kind all the time to us, but they’re like blind because they don’t know what is right and what’s wrong. They don’t even know what brings, eh, eh, pleasure and what brings pain. So, the cause what they created, the think they’re creating a cause of pleasure, but yet, they, on the other hand, they still working for to bring suffering. They don’t even know [mic is being knocked around] like a blind. That’s why they’re like blind. So, we’re at least seeing it. We also have a leg, so we do have a method of Mahayana or Vajrayana or something which made it possible to do something. We have a leg of that. And we are better position. So, if we don’t return their kindness which we indebted to them for so many years, if we don’t try to do something, when can you do it?

1:24:35.8 So, we have to do something. And look at them, on most time (?). Look at them, how great they’ve been to you. How kind they’ve been to you. But from their point of view, if you look at it though, they’re weak. And sort of, [?], more or less. It’s a very sad condition, all of them. I was talking to (name) the other day, two days ago, and how do you find in America, I said, after many years you stay in East? She said, ‘sad.’ Right, didn’t you say, ‘sad.’ Sad because, what should I say? Sad because [student comments: … everyone is suffering so much and they don’t even know what the cause is and have no clue how to stop it.] That’s what you think. In a way that’s true. If you tell them, they say, ‘what do you think you are?’ (chuckles) Yeah, that’s, that’s a really the situation. So, we’re better off. It’s by sheer love, by, by, by, and I tell you, by some kind of very fortunate luck of ours together we be able to share this. I mean, we are really lucky, I tell you. True. Completely lucky. And this, very few people share that. Very few people. So, so, better off, definitely. And so, we really have to do something. We have to commit ourself. For the benefit of them as well as for the benefit of ourself. It’s common. It is common interest. It’s mutual interest. You cannot make inch of development within you without depending on sentient beings. But sentient beings be able to develop if they want to without depending on [voice fades].

1:27:32.2 But since I want to develop myself, and also I want help, and they’re [?], and what they wanted and they needed, and eh, there some who are a little bit better off. So, a little better off try to, try to, try to put your hand out and try to help others. I think it’s needed. So, therefore, for it counts as step third, third or fourth, whatever it is. Fourth. Then when you look at those people, it is really the sad condition. They want happiness, what they have is a problem and misery all the time. So, we really care for them, and we have to see how best way we can help them. How best way we can help them. So, the desire of helping, desire of removing their pains, whatever it is, takes immediately, as quickly as possible, I think that’s what we really should do. That’s what we really should do. Not only, that, that’s sort of becoming compassion. And not only, not only we remove their pains, we make them happy, joyfulness. And the pain should be able to replace by joy. Not by boring. Not by lukewarm water. But by joyfulness. And that becomes love. Really a powerful love. Really care for that person. Or this person. And really want to make them happy. And really putting it out, seeking … that’s really, it’s love. As we fall in love with somebody, and um, how much feelings you get, and that much you, you have to, you to practice mind, and sit, and think, and try to come to that stage. And then it’s becoming developing love. And other way, developing compassion. It’s not much words to tell you here, it’s all you have to meditate, and think, and practice, and you have to felt it.

1:30:33.6 You have to have heartfelt feelings you have to develop. Until then, it becomes word. It only becomes word. When you felt it by heart, then it becomes love and compassion. And when you have love and compassion very strong that I really want to do, I really have to do it. So, I’m going to do it. Making a promise sort of thing. Making a commitment saying that I am going to do it. And then turn around and say, ‘well, wait a minute. How can I do it? What do I have? How do I can do, how can I do it?’ [Can’t catch this] If I become a Buddha, then I have the ultimate capability, I can do it better. So, let me first, let me seek the Buddha, Buddhahood, so therefore I can do this. Get the picture. And that’s how. I mean, it’s very simple, only two or three sentences we can talk. But that’s exactly what it is. Okay? So, this is Seven Stage. The moment you express your desire to develop, I wanted to seek Buddha, until now we say our goal is to become a Buddha, to become enlightened. But still it, this is, we have told you, you accept it, you think it is best, you read about it, you heard about it, you think that’s good, so that’s what you’re sticking to it. But when you develop the bodhimind, you have special feeling and going for it. And that becomes, when that develop, it’s we develop the bodhimind, really, that’s what it is. And that’s only through practice. Not by talking. The talkings can give you, help you to get some better idea and better understanding the claim. But you have to meditate on the steps. That’s that. So, about this love and compassion. About the love, there are slightly different types of love, uh, they will introduce. Now for example, exchange stage, the love of the exchange stage and the love of the Seven Stage are slightly different. Though it is love, they’re slightly different ones, things like that. So, which, um, I think the, the next retreat Tarub Rinpoche will be able to do this Eleven Stage, I think, hopefully, in two days. Without putting much, so very slowly, without giving much intellectual information. But erm, hope to do the Eleven Stage. And uh, so, that’s what it is. That’s what we are. And that’s what … that’s the way it is. And uh, when you have the Eleven Stage done by Tarub Rinpoche, and then the next, are we meeting early in August once? [side conversation]

TAPE ENDS