Archive Result

19970828GRSRLR08

131

DAY FIVE

STEP 20 TO 30

LR8 Do kindly generate the pure thoughts that have been recommended by the great masters in this particular Lamrim tradition. Generate whatever understanding you may have about ultimate love-compassion together with the desire to become a fully enlightened being.

I would like to listen, learn, think, meditate, and practice this particular method of developing myself, of bringing myself to the stage of buddhahood for the benefit of all beings. With that mind, I'd like to pay attention, I'd like to listen to and study this particular teaching.

The teaching you are going to listen to has the three plus four qualities which we already mentioned earlier 45. Listen with the joy of having such a great opportunity to discuss this.

For me, this is the opportunity to learn. It is the opportunity for me to share, to practice, to change my neurosis into positive action.

45 See page 23

---------------

132 Odyssey to Freedom

With that thought, you generate joy:

How lucky I am!

This should overcome all sadness. Normally, whenever we observe a day of silence46, we see a lot of tears, it's usual. But, if you generate some joy, then the tears may be less. Maybe they are tears of joy, so that's okay.

Review 2

Whenever you would like to practice this Lamrim, the first thing you have to remember is to create a sacred environment, which is, internally, the attitude we just now mentioned, and externally, the cleansing part of it.

Arrange symbolic offerings. If you would like to make offerings on your own, there are rules on what to do and how to make the offerings.

Position body and mind. As to the body, remind yourselves of the seven-fold Vairochana style posture which I mentioned earlier47. As to the mind, again, generate pure thoughts; watch your mind, and see what is going on within your thoughts. You will especially notice it when you keep silence. On the day of silence, you see your mind much more. The disruption from external things is less, therefore you get the opportunity for yourself to see inside, so you cry more. Hopefully, they are all tears of joy. That's where you can see what is happening within your mind, and certainly, if you see some negative thoughts, you change them. You change them into positive by simply pushing, " I'll just forget about it for a little while and let me think this way." If that doesn't work, draw out the neutral level by counting breaths or listening to your music, or whatever. You know, do something, draw the attention away from the negative thoughts, and bring the mind to some kind of neutral state. From the neutral state bringing

46 Silence was observed this day

47 See page 62

133 Day Five: Step 20-30

it to a positive state is much easier than fry to pull back right in the middle of anger and say, "Here is patience!" You probably would like to give patience a black eye! So, position your mind.

Then, of course, envision supreme field, which in this case, we will do as Buddha Shakyamuni. Anything, whatever you like, is okay. For Lamrim practice traditionally there is a huge tree called a Lamrim tree. You had the Lama Chöpa tree last year 48 . The difference between the Lama Chöpa tree and the Lamrim tree is that, in Lama Chöpa, we have Lama Losang Tupwang Dorjechang, i.e. Lama Tsongkhapa with Buddha at the heart and either Dorjechang 49 or HUNG at the heart level of the Buddha.

In Lamrim, the central figure is Buddha, the lama appearing in the form of Buddha Shakyamuni. Mind you, Buddha Shakyamuni is the most important guru. If there is no Buddha, there is no Buddhism, there is no path. All the teachings have come from Buddha. It's not somebody's delusional mind that picked up some strange dream early in the morning. It's not; it's from Buddha. That is really important. Let me repeat once again this quotation from day ten in Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand.

This is not false, invented Dharma, because it is the pith of authentic oral teachings. This is not foolish talk, because it comes from classical texts by the great forerunners. This is not a shimmering mirage, because saintly scholars and adepts have tested it. This is not a perilous cliff, because it is the highway to the highest enlightenment.50

48 Lama Chöpa is a Vajrayana guru devotional practice, taught at the winter retreats of 1995 and 1996. Lit. Gelek Rinpoche, Guru devotion, how to integrate the primordial mind.

49 Buddha Vajradhara.

50 Pabongka, Liberation in the palm of your hand, beginning of Day Ten.

---------------

134 Odyssey to Freedom

Visions and things like that are there. However, they can be real and true, or they can be totally something else. So, it is very important not to rely on somebody's vision for your total practice, unless the person has gone beyond being questionable, like Kyabje Ling Rinpoche, or Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, Dilgo Kyentse, the Dalai Lama or that type of person. Then it is different. But for most of us, to fry to rely on our vision is almost like relying on our hallucination. It's not the fault of whoever gives the vision, but it is the fault of whoever receives the vision. The best thing for us is not to rely on that, but on the authentic continuation of teaching from Buddha down to our level today. There are zillions of quotations and books to prove that what we are saying has come down through many centuries. We have the statements given by teachers of different times; so you can prove it. It is better to rely on something like that, rather than on someone's unconfirmed vision.

We Gelugpas have, for example, in the case of Vajrayogini an uncommon inconceivable practice, and in the case of Tara the Cittamani Heart Transplant. The minute you hear about things like that, you get a little more excited, but that's not right. The real excitement, the real help is here; it is the Lamrim.

Even whether your Vajrayana practice is going to be right or wrong, perfect or okay, whatever level it's going to reach totally depends on this. In the other traditions, they talk about ngondro, i.e. preliminary practices [for Vajrayana]. In the Gelugpa tradition, at least as far as I know (because nowadays, others are bringing the same things into this tradition), the usual ngondro of 100,000 prostrations, 100,000 Vajrasattva recitations, Guru-yoga, and mandala offerings, is actually done if you are going to do a three year retreat of some particular yidam. Otherwise, the whole Lamrim is your ngondro, because you are preparing yourself to be able to get on that point. So, it should be done very carefully; it is the most important thing for us to do.

In short, when we are spending time which we don't have, when we're spending energy which we don't have, when we're putting our efforts in, it better be something reliable, rather than anything that popped up here or there. That's one of the qualities which I hesitated

135 Day Five: Step 20-30

to mention earlier (the reasons are obvious), the quality of reliability, an additional quality, but still part of the sevens 51

The supreme field is also the connection with your own spiritual master. Spiritual masters die, they don't live forever, but the connection between ourselves and the spiritual master never dies, it goes on, it continues. Also, a great many teachers have said that when you are meditating guru-devotional practice, i.e. guru yoga, your connection with your guru is the guru that is in front of you, the guru that is on your palm, or the guru on your head, or on your brow, or on your nostril, or wherever you meditate your guru. You think that is funny? It is not strange if you have listened to the completion stage teachings; it works on your nostril tip. That's the relationship, and that never dies; as long as you are there, they are there. The supreme field is the connection between the enlightened beings and ourselves. This is the path, this is the way.

This is the supreme field, whether it is in Buddha form or whatever form it may be. People were asking yesterday, "Can we have Tara?" Sure you can. If you are doing White Tara practice, yes, of course it is Tara, but in the case of Lamrim I recommend, and recommend strongly, as the tradition has done, try to use the Buddha Shakyamuni form. If you really can't do it that way, then you may do something else; that's okay.

There are a lot of reasons why to use Buddha. There are the twelve principal events of Buddha's life story, which make a lot of difference to the individual 52. There are Jataka and other stories53 which tell you all the different things, and they have an effect. There are a lot of reinforcements on this, so that's why Buddha. And mind you, Buddha Shakyamuni is the founder of Buddhism. He did not organize and register a society called Buddhist society, he did not, for sure. However, a large group of people got together, listened to his message and experience, followed it up, and they gained development.

51For the seven qualities ofLamrim see pg. 23

52 Lit. Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey, Tibetan tradition of mental development, pg. 13-19.

53 The Jatakas are stories about Buddha Shakyamuni's previous incarnations. Lit.

J.Speyer, The Jatakamala or garland of Birth-stories of Aryusura.

136 Odyssey to Freedom

That's why it is still coming strong, also in areas like Europe and the United States, even 2500 years later. So it has some extraordinary values. Therefore, for Lamrim practice, try to use Buddha. We even say in that little praise 54, In the space before me in absolute reality is my root guru in the form of Buddha Shakyamuni." In absolute reality it is the guru, in absolute reality it is Tara, in absolute reality it is Buddha, but it is carrying Buddha's identity. Buddha is the most important guru, maybe that's the reason.

Traditionally, all the gurus are in the supreme field of merit, all the yidams are there, everybody that comes from either Buddhist sutra or Buddhist tantra is included; that's why the field of merit is so big traditionally. For us, who are living such busy lives with many responsibilities and very limited time, when we try to practice, if we have those complicated merit fields, it is extremely difficult. That's why we try to justify one Buddha figure, which in absolute reality is Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, Lama, Yidam, Buddha, Bodhisattvas, Dharma Protectors, Dakas and Dakinis, all of them in one.

I did not cook up this system. It is a traditional method known as kundu norbu lu, meaning jewel-collection. It's like a jewel box, containing those different persons all together in it. For us it is very convenient to do that. Those of you who have spent time to find the lineage, know how difficult it is. One of the editions of Liberation in the palm of our hand55 has the diagram, remember. It is very complicated, so we try to skip that and use the one Buddha. Of course, we need permission from the enlightened beings and especially the gurus to be able to do that; I'm quite sure they grant the permit.

Offer salutations. Of course, we praise, not because they like to be buttered up, but to gain benefit for ourselves, that's why we praise.

Present symbolic and boundless imagined offerings. Just imagine the offerings, offerings that you actually have laid out and offerings you have mentally created. Just think, " All the best quality of every-

54 See the prayers handed out at the retreat.

55 The edition of the Mahayana Sutra Tantra Press.

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 137

thing, whether it is owned by me or I don't own it, whatever it is, I present them all in the most beautiful, artistic way." The way of presentation makes a difference in pleasing people. If you don't believe that, go to a Japanese restaurant. "They give you a little piece of daikon radish, it may be one or two slices only that they finely chop and put oh so nicely so that it looks as if the plate is almost full. You take it with chopsticks, and everything will go in your mouth at once! The art of presentation makes the person who receives it feel different, right? If you just chop some daikon radish and bring it in your hand and say, " Here's your daikon radish," would you like to eat that? The Japanese take maybe one-tenth of that and make it into so fine a little thing, puffed up, with some red ginger or something, and you like it. It's not the daikon radish, it is the art of presentation. Here you think of the Japanese the art of presentation, but don't reduce the quantity like the Japanese do! The quantity should be the American way, plenty. In short, best in quality, unlimited quantity.

You present offerings to the supreme field of merit in order to benefit all beings and particularly in order to be able to obtain ultimate enlightenment so that you can help, without any efforts, without any difficulties, so that you can find a way to break through the communication problems, and can get the message across to people who need it badly. For these reasons you make the offerings.

Making offerings is also an act of generosity. Generosity is extremely important in our life. The stinginess we have is the effect of attachment. We mentioned the other day, remember, when you go out shopping you see something very nice and you want to have it but you don't want to open your wallet. Then you go back home and you feel bad about not getting it. This is the sign of attachment. Stinginess is always a signal indicating that there is strong, tight attachment. Generosity cuts that.

To be generous doesn't mean you have to give everything, no, no, no. You have to take care of yourself first. If you don 't take care of yourself, who's going to take care of you? If I don't take care of myself, if I am neglecting myself, I am neglecting my practice, I am ne-

138 Odyssey to Freedom

glecting to become a buddha myself. Therefore, taking care of yourself comes first. Next come your personal responsibilities, family, children and so and forth. And then, well, in the really traditional style probably I should say, "Give everything to Jewel Heart," but I'm not saying that, really! I'm not saying that. Some people, when they have just ten dollars, would like to give that ten dollars. That is called irresponsible. I don't think irresponsible people develop Lamrim stages. Just joking, but maybe true. To develop Lamrim development you have to be a responsible person; if you are irresponsible, I don't think it works.

Drugpa Kunleg, the same person we talked about before56, went to a village somewhere in Tibet. In old Tibet, there were no hotels or motels, so travelers would go and knock on somebody's door and say, "I'm a pilgrim coming from a certain area, can I stay here tonight?" Drugpa Kunleg did that, and met one old lady, who happened to be Tara. (Drugpa Kunleg didn't know that!) It says that when she opened the door, the only white he could see was her teeth! Everything else was absolutely black, covered completely with soot. She opened the door, and he said, " Can I stay with you tonight?" She looked at him, up down, back and forth, and finally she said, "You can stay in where the horses are, in the stable." Drugpa Kunleg, though in one way he had to take that facility because he had no place to go, on the other hand was very happy he that he was made to stay with the horses! After a little while, she came and gave him a cup of tea. Normally, when they make Tibetan tea they put in butter and all this. The little cup she gave him had nothing but pure black tea. So he took the opportunity, and said, " There is not a smell of butter or anything in there; it is not fit for a human being to drink, so I offer it to you, great horses!" And he threw it on the wall, the warm tea! She immediately replied, " When somebody does not have good human behavior, how can you expect him to be a good Dharma practitioner? There is no room for you, get out of here!"

That's what it is. When you don't have good human behavior, if you want to think, "I am a good practitioner," there is a big question. You may read the stories of this mahasiddha did this, and that maha-

56 See page 101.

---------------

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 139

siddha did that, but we are not mahasiddhas, do not forget that. We are whoever we are. So you can't go and copy mahasiddhas and run around naked. If you do, the police will get you!

In India something funny happened. For centuries those Jain saddhus had gone around naked and nothing happened. Then some hippy guy started running naked, and the police got him, put him in jail, then put him on a plane and sent him back to wherever he came from, A friend of mine, the chief editor of Indian Express, wrote a huge front page article showing those naked saddhus' pictures and criticizing the action of the government in arresting that hippy guy.

So, normal respectable human behavior is important. We may think that, in absolute reality, everything is okay, so why do I have to pretend? You're not pretending, you're behaving, so this becomes your character. That makes a big difference. Even Chandrakirti has said,

In absolute reality, it may be emptiness and all this, but in relative truth, you cannot lose the way in which the society is expecting you to behave .

That is your responsibility towards your society. Society's responsibility is to treat you like a human being. That sort of connection is there. If you behave in a funny way, society will treat you differently. That's the reason why Allen used to wear a tie. Trungpa Rinpoche had told him, "If you put on a tie, people will treat you better." So he put on a tie all the time! That was the sixties, today you don't put on a tie, but you have to behave like a normal human being. That includes being on time, not waking up in the afternoon, taking baths, and behaving like a normal human being. Be human.

On top of that, there is goodness within the human being. The goodness is the most important thing. To be bad, mean or sarcastic is very easy. Every one of us is an expert, don't forget it. Some people may think, "I'm very witty, so I can say whatever I want to and get away with it." Do realize that everyone else knows how to behave that way, but they choose not to behave that way. If you realize that, it will

140 Odyssey to Freedom

help you. Dharma practice absolutely depends on the goodness of the person.

To be able to maintain goodness, it is also important to purify all the not-goodness, all the negativity. So, purify all that is negative. Remember when you are doing the purification along with this practice, you have already taken refuge, you have already generated bodhimind, you already have the four immeasurables, so point one is automatically covered.

The power of base is refuge and bodhimind because you try to compensate the one whom you hurt. If it is an individual person, you have to compensate that person for his or her satisfaction, whatever it is you should do. When you can't do that because you have so many people — living or not living — or so many deeds, then the only alternative left for you as compensation is taking refuge in the enlightened beings and generating love-compassion for the non-enlightened beings. For compensation, you please the person in whatever way you can. But, "I have to compensate, so I have to do whatever you tell me" , that might not be right. For everything you act within limits. If somebody says, " All right, let me kill you" or something, you can't say, " Okay, go ahead," you can't. Or somebody tells you, " Serve me with one knee down for seven days," that may be a little too much. (Just joking). So compensate within limitations, without breaking the point where you're going to hurt somebody else, or where you're going to hurt yourself. These are the limitations you draw, so you adjust accordingly. For those who are not nearby, those who are not to be contacted, you do it through refuge and love-compassion.

Point two will be the power of regret; you feel sorry. If you don't feel sorry about something bad that you have done, then the basic goodness of the human being is gone. You may still be happy, "I got you here, now I got you" — that is the badness. If you hurt somebody, you must feel that you hurt somebody, and when you feel that, you feel sorry for the person. Feeling sorry is the basis on which you develop regret. A lot of people develop regret the other way around, " Well I did some really bad thing and now I am going to suffer the consequences, so I'm sorry." That's okay, but it is selfishly-oriented regret, which is not the best. If you really feel sorry for that person,

Day Five: step 20-30 141

you feel it, and you communicate with that person. It is very common that we say, when somebody else says something, " You still didn't get the message" , meaning, even if there is regret, it is coming from your point of view, so that no matter whatever the other person is telling you, you're not getting the message. But when the regret comes from the other point of view, that "I hurt this fellow, I am sorry," if you really have that from the heart, then whatever the other person is telling you, you listen, you hear it, you get it. But if you say, " Well I did bad, I don't want to suffer, so I must purify", it is selfish. Perhaps, better not even purify that! Is that too strong a statement? Maybe. I withdraw that statement, but I did throw it out there. (It is Ben Matlock tactics.) So, you have both points there.

Then the power of non-repetition. Of course, if you are really sorry, you won't do it again, you don't even have to say, "I'm not going to do it again," you know it, that's good enough. The power of antidote is the practice you are doing here. So the four powers of purification are intact. To purify, you use the four powers in your daily life, every day, either daily or twice a day, or six times in twenty-four hours or all six times together one time. And so, the time will come, when it all becomes pure.

Why it can be pure? Because everything created is impermanent. It is like when we see the stars at night, it is like a magician's show, it is like dew, like a bubble in the water, like a dream, like lightning; in other words, it changes. So even negativities are totally subject to change.

A normal American term for this is conditioned: something can happen if something else happens. For instance, I can buy that house if I sell my house. It is all conditional: if some condition is not right, it changes. That is the nature of impermanence., Therefore, everything can change, unless and until it is totally materialized. If something is totally materialized, you have to wait until the time it goes, because again time will change it. Everything is changeable and therefore everything can be purified.

142 Odyssey to Freedom

For purification, according to Buddha, it is not necessary to go and tell somebody, "I did this and that." In one way you do have to, but on the other hand, you don't. When I was a monk, every second week we had those purification sessions. Our purification sessions were so interesting. It's not that one person gets up and talks to somebody. Everybody gets up, whether there is one thousand or ten thousand, they all get up and say, " All the negativities that I committed, killing and misbehaving, sexual misconduct, and all those....." All ten thousand people shout the same things, the whole list through. They'll go all through the over two hundred monks' vows, " Whatever I did, or I made other people do, all of it I purify here!". Ten thousand people shout together, so nobody can blackmail anybody! (laughs)

Sometimes, we feel good if we can unload our chest; that's also true. In that case, if you talk to a reliable sangha friend, that may be a good idea. But it is not a very good idea to talk to each and everybody about our own personal negativities.

Purification empties you of all the negativities. Then you rebuild with rejoice in all that is positive. Rejoicing will give you very good positive karma. After cleaning out the negativities, you are filled up with positive karma, that is what rejoicing gives you. Rejoicing really cuts through the jealousy. If you look at it, in one way, competitiveness is a good thing, but on the other hand, if there is too much competitiveness, you develop jealousy. It is just like constructive criticism and destructive criticism are different. If it is constructive competition, it is no problem, but if it becomes real competitiveness, and "I must get somehow over that person, whatever I have to do," and when something bad happens to that person, you feel happy about it, then you have all the jealousy symptoms. Rejoicing will cut down jealousy.

Seek guidance. Pray that " Whenever I need it, guidance may be given". That's seeking guidance. Request to remain, is " So make

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 143

sure, be there". Then dedicate efforts is the insurance that it not get destroyed by anger. You know Chandrakirti says 57,

One simple little feeling of hatred for a single minute to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas could consume a hundred eons of efforts.

Therefore, hatred is not only bad, it is the most expensive negativity. You have no idea how much it takes away, a tremendous amount. To safeguard that, you have an investment; it becomes an insured investment through dedication. You are insuring that your investment will work for whatever you have aimed for. This is how dedication works.

Ask for Inspiration and Blessings. Here you have, as I mentioned before, making requests to the supreme field of merit, saying the mantras, light and liquid coming from the supreme field of merit purifying all negativities and obtaining the blessings, support, wisdom and compassion of all enlightened beings.

Not only that, finally, a duplicate Buddha comes out and dissolves to you. And that duplicate Buddha now becomes you. You become that duplicate Buddha, and you start functioning like a buddha, generating light from your body, purifying all environment and inhabitants, so that every land, everywhere, becomes a pure land, every being everywhere becomes a pure being. And for a minute you believe that it has happened. Though it hasn't happened, for a minute you have to believe that everything has happened. You know why? To give you the feeling of being that. Normally we say it is a good omen so in future you can do it, but the main reason is that you can feel it, that you get the feeling. You know, when you want the taste of some food, you put it in your mouth and say, " Oh, yeah, okay" , you get the taste. Likewise by doing this, and believing that it has happened, "I am doing it, I helped, I did it," you get the feeling. That feeling helps

57 Chandrakirti, Guide to the Middle Way, [St. Madhyamakavatara], Ch VII, vs 6: Through getting angry with Conqueror's Sons / Virtues accumulated from giving and moral discipline/ Over a hundred eons are destroyed in an instant; Therefore there is no evil greater than anger.

144 Odyssey to Freedom

us. That's the reason why we say believe it for a minute. Not too long, okay?

Then, of course, collecting all the blessings, which is here done through the Foundation of all Perfections with all the different stages of development: first comes the guru-yoga practice, second comes the recognition of life, each and every one of them. When you repeat 'empower me to do this and that,' at the first repetition light and liquid comes, washes the obstacles in general and in particular those of developing guru-yoga within me, those of embracing life within me, those of taking refuge position within me, those of recognizing the sufferings in samsara within me. At each and every point, you purify the particular obstacles of that point. Finally, on the second repetition, a duplicate Lama Buddha dissolves to me and this particular development has been actualized in me, and I believe it for a while. That is how you can focus on each and every point. This is meditating on the Lamrim in the form of a prayer, which will work.

I might as well mention here three ways of meditating Lamrim.

1. Some people will only focus on one of these points, and keep on focusing on it until it is perfectly okay. That is actually the true way of doing it. You may think, Well, that may be for Tibetans, but, I don't know, we the Westerners, can we have it?" Yes, you can, a number of Westerners went through this and are perfectly there. When I met some Western people in Malaysia three years [after I gave them the Lamrim], and they told me how they had been meditating, what they felt, I was a little surprised, but it convinced me that Westerners can achieve. That's one way of doing it.

2. Another way of doing it is to focus briefly on each topic, to go quickly from the beginning to the end, and then come back to spend time on the point wherever you need to do more analytical meditation. Doing everything briefly means you really covered all your journey part. It's like following a map; you have a good direction, you know exactly where you're going and what you're going to do, what is your mission in life. Then, put the major focus on each particular point, one at a time. When you have established one, then you go to the next. The

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 145

major effort you must put on one point at a time, meaning you go point by point. One point may take you two years, or one point may take you only two days, but whatever it does, your major efforts are not moved from there. That is the measurement of what level you are on. Since the actual Lamrim begins with point 13, you may say I am on point 14 or 18 or whatever. Where and how you make the major emphasis, if the base below that, i.e. the number above that, is established, then you got there.

3. Just reviewing, meditating Lamrim in the form of prayer, like The Foundation of all Perfections.

For reviewing and focusing, first you really have to go through everything, comprehend, and then think about it. Once you gain the realization you focus. Actually there are two types of realization, realization with efforts, and without efforts. first realization will come with effort. When you put thoughts in, when you start thinking, you have to juggle a little bit. Even after gaining realization, you have to juggle a little bit and you have to settle. That's called with efforts; you still have to put efforts in to be able to come on the same conclusion. Without efforts is when, the moment you think on the point, your thoughts will suddenly answer without thinking, " This is this, this is this." For example, once you gain realization on examining the quality of the guru (you don't have to do that every time you meditate the Lamrim) you know what you are looking for. That's how it functions. Until you gain the realization, you have to struggle there. Without struggling, you won't get through.

Acknowledge the spiritual master. Although this one, number 13, comes before number 17, Embrace human life, however— and this is an exceptional case — you don't wait to develop number 13 before you jump into number 17. You spend a little time on number 13, and simultaneously you put the focus on number 17. You can go according to that, because number 13 is going to take a hell of a time. It is very complicated. The more you think, the more trouble you get, the more you are in it, the more difficulties you get. That's why, for some people, it can take a whole lifetime. So as not to deprive that person of

146 Odyssey to Freedom

opportunity for practice, traditionally we tell you start with 13 and 17 together. That's how you do it.

Investigate qualities of the spiritual master. You look at the quality very carefully, because, the question now becomes whether I would like to be like that person or not. So you pick and choose the quality. You have to be very picky, or picky-choosy, because your total well being depends on it, not only for one life, but for life after life, for those who believe in reincarnation. And for those who do not believe in reincarnation, it is your life; whether you are going to be right, or you are going to be okay, or you are going to be hurt, or you are going to be happy, it all depends on that. So you really have to be picky-choosy, and you have every right to be, you know.

It is also very important, not to let organizations fool you. In the West, organizations fool people. In our case, we're lucky, in Jewel Heart we're all very relaxed and we don't go after anything, and that's good. I'm surprised that, in the United States, there are certain organizations that say, " Oh, you took refuge to one of our lamas, so you belong to us." This is a pathetic statement. Nobody belongs to anybody, you know that. I belong to me, maybe the wife belongs to the husband and the husband belongs to the wife, I don't know. Virtually, you belong to yourself, nobody belongs to anybody. We had that experience of belonging in the slavery system, but we have been out of that since Abraham Lincoln, and we don't want to go back, Definitely, it is very strange the way organizations try to claim you, saying, "Oh you took refuge, so you are here. You are my silly subject." Really, it is outrageous to me. You may come, you may go, it's your choice. Who's going to hold you? Nobody. Who can hold you? Nobody, if you don't let them hold you.

So, you investigate the qualities of the spiritual master. Not only the quality of the spiritual master; you should also investigate the quality of the people around, particularly nowadays. If the people around are only out to get you, then, even if the spiritual master is good, better stay away. Freedom is such a precious thing. We know that, right? We

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 147

are all Americans. (Maybe there are a couple of non-Americans, but we are all the same freedom-loving people, including the Canadians, and Brazilians, the Dutch, Malaysians and Singaporeans). We are all freedom-loving people, so we don't want to sacrifice our freedom for nothing. And guru-devotional practice does not take away your freedom. If it does, there is something wrong. No one can make you do something, if you don't want to, remember that. No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do. So it is important to observe the spiritual master, and observe the people around, too. That's how you can evaluate.

Really, belonging to this and that is a big shock to me. We never heard that in Tibet. I don't exactly remember from whom I took the first refuge, whether it was Ling Rinpoche, or Tundra Takara Rinpoche, or my father, or Pabongka, I don't even know, so I can't belong to anybody. I did take refuge, for sure! But belonging is not there.

When you join Drepung monastery, they will list your name in the register. In that period I belonged there, because I was part of it, I was responsible to observe their discipline, I accepted that. Actually, you become a member rather than belonging. When you cease to be a monk, they automatically they cut your name out of the list, even if you are a reincarnated lama; then you are no longer qualified to be a member.

Reflect on qualities of the student. Again, actually the student should reflect the quality of the master: Would I like to be like that? Would I like to have such a quality of tolerance? Can I have this quality of patience, would I like to be that? When you're thinking that way, for many of them you begin to say, "Well I don't want this, I don't particularly care for that."

Without seeing the problems, you cannot solve the problems. Right or wrong? You really have to see the problems and then you can solve them. If you just keep on thinking, "No problem, no problem" then when the problem actually comes you have a big surprise and you start crying, so that's not right.

The right way is at the beginning to give yourself the opportunity to see any problems that you may encounter. The way and how you

148 Odyssey to Freedom

see it is, " Would I like to have this quality, would I like to have that quality?" Reflect on the quality of the spiritual master and find out whether you would like to be that way. When you would like to have that quality, you appreciate that very spiritual master. If you like fifty percent and you don't like the other fifty percent, then see which part is more powerful. When you see what you like is more effective and powerful, appreciate it. If you see that the effectiveness is less than fifty percent and the undesirable qualities are more than fifty percent, quit, walk away. That's how you do it.

Cultivate pure relationship. The true relationship between me and my guru is my business: nobody else's business. Whether I have unshakable, unquestionable strong feeling and trust, that's my business and that is my true relationship,

It's reminding me of something. After the previous incarnation of Nyare Kentrul, the last abbot of Gyuto, Tashi Namgyal 58, passed away, the people who were working with Tashi Namgyal distributed every single thing belonging to him. They gave to all the great monasteries and tantric colleges, distributed money among the monks and presented things to different lamas. Actually, they closed the estate [Tib. labrang] completely down. As they did that, Pabongka Rinpoche was there. In the beginning, he didn't say anything, but let them wind up everything. At the end of everything, they had a really extremely beautiful set of carpets, which they took to Pabongka and they said, "Now we are offering you the last piece out of Tashi Namgyal's accumulation." Pabongka said, "What, last piece? Why, last piece?" Then he said, "No, no you take that back, you have to find the reincarnation." Now the senior manager was an elderly gentleman, who had very strange triangular eyes, (I've seen him, a very funny looking guy who was said to be a great Heruka practitioner and totally devoted to Pabongka.) Immediately he got up, did three prostrations and told Pabongka, "I have such tremendous devotion to you, if you tell me to

58 Rinpoche is recognized to be the reincarnation of Tashi Namgyal. See his long life prayer.

---------------

Day Five: Step 20 — 30 149

jump in the fire, I will jump with no hesitation, literally. If you tell me to jump in the river, I will jump in the river without any hesitation. But if you tell me to find the reincarnation, I must prostrate to you and say please don't say that." His devotion to Pabongka was such that he probably would have jumped in the water. Finally, Pabongka kept on insisting, "What is your difficulty, why can't you do it?" Then he said, " Well, I've spent all the money out, there's no money. There's not a human being who's going to work. If we have to look for the reincarnation we have to go to east Tibet, west Tibet, or Amdo, all these areas; where is the horse, where is the person, where is the money?" Pabongka said, "If I guarantee you the person will be born in the Lhasa area, would you accept?" He said, "Yeah, but I will be responsible; if that lama behaves properly and becomes helpful, great, but if that lama misbehaves, all responsibility is on my shoulders. Even if I am gone, a hundred years later, I will still have the responsibility, so excuse me." Pabongka insisted, and finally he said, "You're supposed to listen to your guru, so I listen". That is how he agreed to pick up the reincarnation. The story gives you two messages; one is that much devotion, and the second is with that much devotion, even if you have difficulties here and there, you can make adjustments. It is true today, too.

Pure relationship is the mental relationship, it is the mental bond. It's some kind of understanding, some kind of trust, some kind of relationship which is not free of difficulties — which are always there in one way or another — but from the heart of hearts you and I know that whatever shows and put-ons and acting may come up, in reality there is a strong commitment and connection. That is the pure relationship, I believe, the very basic level, the ground level.

So you make requests to Lama Buddha Shakyamuni to develop that profound yoga. What does yoga mean? Union. So, may I be able to obtain the union between myself and this particular development. May I purify general negativities and in particular here not trusting, doubts, misunderstanding, all of them. Most of the obstacles are misunderstanding, because it is human being level. Human to human level has a

150 Odyssey to Freedom

lot of difficulties and a lot of anger, too, for many people. Anger without knowing why, or with some knowing why, may all of this be purified and may profound relationship be developed. A duplicate Buddha dissolves to me, and not only do I develop profound relationship, but I am made capable of helping others to develop this same type of development.

Embrace human life. Understand its value, Appreciate the rarity. In order to embrace it, first you have to recognize it. You recognize that you're a human being, Recognize the qualities of the human being, the qualities that you have, the qualities that you enjoy, and that other beings don't have. Appreciate what you have; that's why embrace. You see, existence as a human is not easy to get, that's for sure. Maybe the world population is going up, but there are certainly more ants than human beings. There must be a reason for that. There are more fish than human beings. There are more of all these animals, if you number them. That in itself gives you the message. Then beings that we don't see, the hungry ghosts, the hell realm people, and all of them, are much more, no question. So, because of that, we are very fortunate.

Even in our life, the number of us who have this very particular opportunity is much, much less than of other human beings on the earth, we know that. Even among us, those who have time to practice and can put in all the time they want to, are far less in number than the people who have to work. If you look at it from that angle, you really appreciate the opportunity that you have, you really appreciate the quality that you have. You look to the right, you look to the left, the right person doesn't have the same opportunity, the left person doesn't have it, or they do have opportunity, but they have many more responsibilities, they have to do much more business and this and that, which naturally cuts down on their opportunity.

That doesn't mean I don't care about my job, I don't care about what I'm doing. It doesn't mean that I'm simply going to live on the air, that I'll drink water and eat air. If you try to do that, you're not giving yourself opportunity, you are destroying your opportunity. Lamrim in

151

particularly the next century.

That's why it is said 'You remain in a busy family life, yet you can obtain total liberations. The example is Marpa, who had a full family life, with wife and kids and a farm, growing food and keeping animals, everything together, and yet, he was the founder of the Kagyu tradition, and the guru of Milarepa 59 .When he could accomplish that, why not us? So, though you remain in the household, with family responsibilities, you can obtain enlightenment. You know, even ifyou live by yourself up on the mountains, or under the tree, or under the ground, no development may come; you may be like a mole, or a groundhog who remains under the ground for six months or so. He will come out the same old groundhog, no change! That is the example.

This is a great need of ours today, because we're not going to have that much time. The basic system of valuing people in terms of dollars makes you a slave, whether you like it or not, and we're all in that condition. That's why we have very limited time. So we need something which we can do among and without neglecting our responsibilities. Marpa is a great example for that. If you read Milarepa's biography, when Milarepa first went to see Marpa, he was busy plowing the land, sowing the seed. Milarepa didn't even realize it was Marpa, he thought it was some kind of village guy. So he asked where Marpa was, and Marpa replied, "He's up there, yes he's there." Mama was busy doing his own business.

My father, Demo Rinpoche, is another example. He was always busy doing something mechanical, something with motors. He had all these motorcycles and watches and all this; he used to fix them up, to do the mechanical work. He even had jeeps, brand new jeeps. He dismantled them, took them all apart, didn't read English, but put them back together. Then after that, whenever someone else's jeep needed to be fixed, or someone else's motorcycle, he was busy sitting in the middle of the courtyard, with a couple of people helping him, bringing

59 Literature: Nalanda translation committee, The life ofMarpa the translator. Boston, Shambhala 1995.

152 Odyssey to Freedom

this and bringing that. A lot of people would come to see him, but many of them didn't recognize him. They would say, "Well, I'd like to see Rinpoche, is he in?" "Yes, yes, he is up there," he would say very often, "He's somewhere in there meditating." So after a little while, he would go in his room and sit up there. The person would come in and look at him! That happened all the time, it is nothing new.

One night, Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche was giving a Lamrim teaching, across the street at the back of our house, and I was there. There were maybe three or four thousand people attending. I was about to go out, when Kyabje Rinpoche said, " Rinpoche, Rinpoche, is Kyabje Rinpoche in the house?" At first I didn't get it. He said, I'm talking about your father, is he home?" I said yes, so he said, " Don't go, you go with me." Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche put his shoes on and then, came out with me. People would move round, they were all disciples, so what he did is, he put his robe on top of his head so people wouldn't recognize him, they'd know some kind of senior lama was going there, but wouldn't recognize who it was. When we got near my house, my father was outside the door where you ride a horse. He was standing on top of that horse riding area and wearing one of those Russian overcoats, with a Russian hat as well. And when Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche walked by, he saluted, pak! He saluted! Then Kyabje Rinpoche (this was an unannounced and unarranged visit) took out a scarf, and started giving it to him, and he put his hand inside the pocket of his coat and brought out a scarf to give. Then they went up and I think they stayed to three or three-thirty talking.

Why did I say this? Oh, busy-ness. So, this practice you can adapt in your daily life with your usual busy schedule.

How to meditate on the points. The first thing I recommend to all of you, is to go through the points. You don't have to do that every day; if you can, wonderful. You may like to do it once a week, on weekends, and during summer or winter holidays. On the days you have, you put more time and efforts in. Don't leave a big gap, because then it doesn't reflect, so at least do it once a week. First, don't emphasize any point, just go through. Just bring it under control, meaning not depending on this piece of paper, but going through the whole thing.

Day Five: 20-30 153

Once you comprehend this I to 64 or 64 to l, then you make a little perfection on that [overview]. And once you are able to do that, then move yourself onto the points whether it is going to be 13 or 17 or 13 and 17. Then spend more time on a specific point and gain experience.

Gaining experience is not like light, not like hallucination. That's not experience. Experience here is unshakable understanding, totally convinced it is true reality. When you reach that on each step, you are gaining experience. Once you have gained the first experience, add up the second and the third. When your experiencing number is going up, you are getting up and up and up. That's what you have to recognize. That's how you measure your spiritual development. This is your tape measure, your yardstick, your landmark. Otherwise, if you don't have a yardstick, then everything is development; if you have a high fever, and you see a lot of things, you'll say, "I had a great experience!" But it's not. There is a yardstick by which you can say where you are.

20

Face the inevitability of death

Did you ever meet anybody who is a thousand years old? No, you didn't, because there is no such person. Death is absolutely going to happen. As to the analysis of this point, if you just think, "Yeah, I know I'm going to die, I already knew that," it won't help. That is just intellectual knowledge. Though we say, "I know I'm going to die," we only know it intellectually. Also, we don’t want to look crazy by saying, "I'm going to live forever." If you say, "I'm not going to die at all," other people will think you are crazy. So, somehow intellectually we know we are going to die, but we are not convinced that " I am going to die". Believe me, we are not convinced. We do not acknowledge death because we would like to live on and continue to function, we don't want to die.

154 Odyssey to Freedom

Analysis becomes very important here. How can you analyze that "I am going to die"?