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Soundfile 19980424GRJHNLBOA07

Speaker Gelek Rimpoche

Location Nijmegen

Topic On the Border of Awakening

Transcriber Constantijn Koopman

Date February 9, 2021

Rimpoche: [(First words translated back from the Dutch translation) It doesn’’t mean you cannot love them or you should hate them] but you don’’t want attachment.

Translator [translating audience 1]: She asked over there: sometimes people put an enormous amount of emotional value on things. And what about that?

Rimpoche: That is true. When you put so much emotional value, it is very heavy. And when you take it lightly, it is not heavy. Yeah, really true. And by taking lightly, you don’’t loose nothing.

Audience 1: I think you make ??? your mind.

Rimpoche: Yeah, that’’s right. By taking lightly, you loose nothing. By taking heavily, you gain nothing. So, it is the self-torture, that’’s what we do. In both good and bad times. I’’m sorry, my answers are getting short because my time is running.

Okay, having said that, briefly we told you what is antidote of those negative actions, and how do we apply on them. Not when you’’re angry, you don’’t apply, but when you’’re more relaxed. You know, you’’re training your mind. So when you’’re training your mind, you have to train when you’’re mostly calm and quiet, at that level. It’’s like a horse, when you’’re training a horse. You keep the horse come and then you turn, because you don’’t want to turn when horse is jumping all the time. Right? So, it is the same way. 0:03:06.7And when we’’re training our mind, we’’re actually training monkey. Our mind is like a monkey, it’’s everywhere, you know. Really you jump there, knock that down, throw that up and push that down, really to do everything. So, at the right time, which is: the first step calm down, and give a little mental relaxation. The mind is so tired. Ever since you’’re born been busy twenty-four hours a day, 365 days in year, and it keeps on busy all the time. So, keep them a little relaxed and calm down. That’’s why they teach you the zhine, or the shamatha meditation or concentrated meditation, all of those. They do that. That is because you get yourself a little bit calmed down. And then think the antidotes on it. And so accept it and apply it. And somehow, sort of you should feel, you should think those antidotes, and then you say, ““Okay, I got it,”” and put in your pocket and keep it. You know? So, when you do this, and the next time when those negative emotions rise you will see the effect is different. And that you keep on doing, it’’s your practice. Whether you sit down with the crossed leg or would not, whether you burn incense or not, whether there is a gown or no gown, doesn’’t matter. Just sit down and put those thoughts within you. Doesn’’t matter wherever you’’re sitting, even you’’re sitting on throne in bathroom. As long as you’’re not facing the wrong direction. [laughter]

0:06:28.1 Okay, this morning or this afternoon we talked what causes those emotions. Right? Now we have to talk how it gets effect to me, how it counts within me (oh, that’’s the cause) but how it gets effect to me. What door should I close? Through which door they’’re coming? So, what should I close? And number one: not knowing. When you don’’t know, the anger is bad. And there is no question. You don’’t worry about it whether anger is there or not, and sometimes even appreciate anger because I can get things out of my chest. Really true. And that is the door number one you should shut it down. How you shut it down is picking information, and collect your information, and analyze your information, and try to internalize. So, then you don’’t have to physically shut the door, it is already shut. If somebody will tell you anger is good, you should have it, you should scream you should do all this…… (screaming is no, problem actually), you should hate that person and this and that, and you will not think twice. You think, ““Ah, hate is bad. I know it, for sure it, I experienced, I understand this is wrong.”” You can stand on your own foot. And if you don’’t analyze, or in best case, then you even have the message. You understand, ““Okay, I hate about that.”” 0:09:08.3 Then somebody will else will say, ““Anger is very good for you.”” You say, ““Oh, anger is good for me? Okay, wow, wow.”” You will go with this, and that is because of lack of understanding. And that is the door here, it’’s wide open.

And the second door is lack of awareness. So, there’’s always a certain portion of your mind will be checking with you. Time to time, occasionally. Say, ““Hello miss, how are you?”” Okay? That is necessary. Otherwise, you don’’t know. You know, we try to sit here and try to meditate. Your body may be sitting like that very holy, but your mind may be somewhere in the nightclub in Amsterdam. So, you don’’t know that unless and until occasionally you have a check and say, ““Hello, I’’m here. What are you up to?”” So, that is necessary. Even during the concentrated meditation, whether it is shamatha or inside or vipassana, or whatever it might be, it is necessary to watch your own mind very often by yourself. And that will prevent you to get into those negative emotions.

Now, the next two are extremely important. And I’’m not sure in the Western culture some people taught/thought??? it’’s bad, but according to Buddha this is very important. And that is…… 0:12:00.0 ““Well, if I behave so bad like this, if I let my mind go like this, oh, how shameful it is!”” Not because of others, but for myself: how shameful it is. ““How can I treat myself in such a bad way? How can I let myself think such a terrible thing? How can I let myself do such a miserable thing? How can it be possible? I shouldn’’t do it, I would be very ashamed of it.”” That is the very important mental faculty which protects us.

Translator [translating audience 2] Can you translate that with ““conscience?”” ““Consciousness.””

Rimpoche: Conscious of what?

Audience 3: Conscientiousness.

Rimpoche: Conscientiousness of what?

Translator: Can you translate shame?

Audience 3: Conscientiousness.

Rimpoche: Yeah, I know. Conscientiousness of what? Translate what?

Translator: No, that’’s not the problem. The problem, she said, is the shame. Can you see that as a form of conscientiousness?

Rimpoche: Is that the question? No, I don’’t think so.

Audience 4: There is a Christian word of how you look into yourself, and know and investigate: could I do it, could I not do it. More or less this what you are explaining about shame. It has the same function, it prevents you from doing.

Rimpoche: As long as you’’re having, helping you, everything is okay. Consciously you can look and whatever. You know, as I told you earlier, it doesn’’t matter whether it is Christian or Buddhist way or doesn’’t really matter. What we need is help. As long as it is helping, no matter from what tradition it comes, we should apply. You know why? These times we’’re very lucky. Really, we have so many methods and so many ways. And traditionally, it is very rare. Okay, I better keep my mouth shut, otherwise I go too far. 0:15:06.9

Another one, let me just finish one more, and then I come back. So another one is the, you know, ““Well, not only I feel embarrassed myself, but if somebody else came to know that I’’m thinking like that, how shameful I will be!”” And that is another factor which will help you. Actually, two last ones, people don’’t like much because it is overused by many traditions. So, people don’’t like it much, but however very very useful, these two last points. And this is two important points where you are guiding yourself. I mean, this is two important mental factors will guiding and protecting. You know, it is very good for disciplining yourself. These are the two mental faculties. I don’’t want to give you example and say, ““This is your whip.”” [laughs]

Now, I forgot one thing earlier. We talked about pride a lot. We did not talk how we can overcome the pride if pride is a problem. To some people.

Audience 4: Can you also say what the direct/very??? antidote to wisdom is?

Rimpoche: Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom. [laughs] I’’m trying to watch my hand: wisdom, wisdom, wisdom, one hand.

So now, I would like to go and go to those pride. If the pride is a problem, what would you do? Think about birth, think about death, think about illnesses, think about aging. 0:18:02.4 Okay, this is the antidote of over-pride. If it is under-pride, self-defamation, under-pride, and then think about quality of life. Think of your own capability. Think about your intelligence, think about your look, think about your function, think about your life, think about your children. And think about you’’re capable, think about you’’re right. All of those builds up. This is the balancing point. You know, if you are a crop (crop that’’s rice or weed or barley), if you are a crop and if your head is standing straight like this, then think about illnesses, dying and all this because you think you are the most important person in the world. Right? And if you’’re completely falling down and lying, then you have to build your value of your life and all this and stand up. Because if you lie down you’’re crop will be destroyed. And if you’’re standing straight, it is a problem. But if you are in normal level, that’’s good level. That is where you have to maintain. And good, and then the doubt we talked already. And when you really have a good understanding, that will took over the bad doubt.

And almost I covered everything here. Basically, what I do want to cover, like the ten negative emotions. You’’re not going to find many extra negative emotions which not included in here. There are a couple of them are additional Buddhist baggage. That is also there, you recognize. But the most important point is: when you wanted to help yourself, so you have to help through cutting those negative emotions 0:21:00.2 because negative karmas are produced on the direct consequences of those negative emotions. So therefore, when you cut that negative emotions, cut it, there will be no negative karma work. When there is no negative karma, there will be no suffering. It is the end of the suffering is possible because of that.

Sometimes, you do this and you can’’t help it; anger comes in between, attachment comes in between. And everything comes; pride comes, everything comes. And you don’’t have to feel bad. A lot of people will say, ““I lost it. I should not have been lost, I lost it.”” Don’’t worry about it. Were are human beings, so we definitely have those pots is?? popping up. And that’’s nothing wrong. But what is wrong is whatever the thought pops up, and if you internalize that thought. And then it is wrong. So please, make sure that you have a filter in between the head to heart. Okay? And that you can do whatever you might be: Buddhist or non-Buddhist, or Christian or non-Christian, or Jewish or non-Jewish, or Muslim or non-Muslim, or Hindu or non-Hindu. Doesn’’t matter, you can do that.

And as a group in Jewel Heart we try to provide the information. 0:24:04.3 We try to provide the information on the basis of the personal experience of the Buddha, on the basis of the personal experience of the Buddhist disciples, continue from Buddha to my late masters. And then whatever little I know, and plus whatever the teachers are there, with their total dedication, with their total sincerity, with their total…… (now I lost the word). No personal agenda. And that’’s how we try to present that. And if it has been helpful to you, and it is there; people made it available. On the one hand, I have to say those who made available, ““I am very grateful, thank you.”” And on the other hand, those of you who like to take the advantage and take the opportunity, please do so and you’’re welcome. Again, I like to make as clearly once again: and when you just join in Jewel Heart, you don’’t have to be Buddhist. You don’’t. No matter whatever you do, you don’’t really have to become a Buddhist in order to join in Jewel Heart. We particularly made this introductory group as well as the first group. And if you want to become a Buddhist, you can become whenever you’’re ready. You don’’t have to.

I mean, I will give you one example, can I? Marianne Soeters, here you are, is example. She had studied many years with me, and she did not accept it as Buddhist for a long, long time. And when she understand what really essence of the Buddhist mean, and there is not much difference with whatever your tradition is, it is a matter of a lot of…… Then, she accept. And this is example for you. So, what we try to provide you is try to provide you a message and information from the Buddhist experience point of view. You provided that. And if that’’s useful, take it. If there’’s nothing useful, throw it away. And it is absolutely your choice. 0:26:59.1 And nobody can force you, nobody else can proselyte you, nobody else can drive you here and there. If you want to come in, and you wanted, and you look in it, and you dislike it, you leave. Fine, no problem. As I told you earlier, nobody will chase you. That is an important point. You know how I learned this? I have a friend who was a healer in Texas. A very crazy person, absolutely. And he had two Tibetans he had kept there. Two Tibetans, young guys. Actually, the person who I am talking is acting in the movie called Kundun. He is acting as the younger regent. He is the guy. So, they have some people, some women to come to come from this healer. The healer is very expensive. That was in 19……, I think 70s. So every healing session he charges 750 dollars, in 1970. You know, it’’s very expensive. So, one woman supposed to come for the healing. And I think the woman was very worried about it, and wasn’’t sure what it is. She paid the money already, but still she wasn’’t sure what it is. So, she dope??? round the healer’’s house, and so went away. The Tibetan guy saw that the woman went away. So, he thought she could not find the house. So, what he did is, he sat in the car and chased her. [laughs] Chased here, and she straightaway drive faster and faster, and went to the police station. [laughs] So, I know if you chase people, you get into trouble, you landed in police station. So, I make a point in Jewel Heart: don’’t chase anybody. Don’’t. If they don’’t want come, if they let you know: fine. If they don’’t let you know, if you don’’t hear or don’’t see it, you may like to find out. They may need some help, or what is wrong. Sangha is one anyway group, is to support each other; not only to suppoHat is rt in terms of Dharma study but even in terms of social help. 0:30:04.4 Whatever we can. We’’re limited. You know, everybody has limits. Right? With their limits they’’ll be able to support each other, that’’s the idea. Not only be able to support each other at the time of the need, should be also be able to support each other at the time of death. Not only we support each other at the time of death, even afterwards. And you know, day before yesterday I went there and saw Héélèène’’s grave; two of us went there. And I was very happy, and people of Jewel Heart still maintaining and putting flowers and everything there. And this is almost five years now?

Translator: Longer, seven years.

Rimpoche: So, seven years. And sort of even after that we are supporting that way. And this is the aim and this is the purpose. And I guess I’’ve said enough, otherwise I become the second-hand car dealer. I don’’t want to do that.

You have a question. I’’m sorry I concluded before. Anyway.

Audience 5: I was having a question about this anger. There is love you’’re putting against it, and you have to do that when you’’re not angry at the moment. But at the moment that you feel anger or some negative feeling towards somebody, and at that moment itself, you know, that’’s not a good feeling. I really want to feel something else, and still you are there with that person. So, what do you do?

Rimpoche: That’’s it, that’’s recognition.

Audience 5: Yeah, yeah, you recognize that. But what do you do towards that person?

Rimpoche: Nothing.

Audience 5: Do you say, ““Sorry, I’’m angry with you, but I don’’t want to be angry.””What?

Rimpoche: Don’’t be silly.

Audience 5: You have to communicate that.

Rimpoche: Yeah, but it depends, you know. If it is okay, if it’’s a nice person, it’’s okay, you can say it, ““Sorry, and I was feeling funny but it’’s okay. I’’m sorry.”” If it’’s not a nice person, don’’t say it, ““I’’m sorry.”” They will take advantage of you. [laughter] So normally, what you should really do…… I’’m going to teach you bad things, I’’m sorry. But normally, what you should do is without any physical, verbal reaction from your mind, you say, ““I’’m sorry.”” And just don’’t ever came the word out. Just, from your heart you say, ““I’’m sorry,”” and I’’m going to correct my way of perceiving this. And just sit there, don’’t act anything. You know what I mean? Don’’t do anything, just sit.

Audience 5: Communicate……

Rimpoche: Talk to him whatever you’’re talking. How is your truth??? or something. You know?

Audience 5: Is it not dishonest against that person that this person won’’t know……

Rimpoche: The idea is: you have to correct your own negativities, or negative emotions. But you don’’t have to let that person know, ““I have a negativity on you, I’’m correcting it.”” You don’’t have to do that. What for? But in the West some people think that way, because you have to have the confession and then forgiving and all this. And that may be your background of it’’s coming. But it is not absolutely necessary according to Buddha. You should have strong regret to yourself and correct it. And you can purify that. You don’’t have to let that person know, ““I was angry with you, but now I’’m not angry.”” You can tell him later [laughs], not that moment. And there is a danger of escalating that 0:36:02.1 He may say, ““You are angry with me: here you go.”” And you get more angry. It is a bad way of teaching, but the traditional Tibetan lamas will teach you that way. Really, truly, they teach you that way.

Well okay, thank you so much for coming here. And if I have given you some idea to be able to help you, please take it. And if you think it is nothing, I’’m sorry I have wasted your two days, but throw it away in the garbage.

And then the retreat coming up, right? From tomorrow onwards it is very similar, very similar subject we’’re going to go. Odyssey to freedom, which is a little more elaborated detail. The purpose is, again, cutting down the negativities and building, collecting goodness. According to Tina Turner, collecting goodness is bus-stop Buddhism. Remember? So, we go on that. Okay? Thank you.

Thank you so much for organizers and everything. And you’’ve been doing great job for long time. Thank you, and thank you in each and everyone of you. And thank you [translator] for the difficult task sitting there; and giving, sweating. Okay, and thank you to all of you. Thank you.