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20000711GRAABWL

Side A of tape 99 of 07/11/00

Last week I was in Washington to attend a big Tibetan gala where His Holiness gave a public address in front of more than 50 000 people. We also went through a demonstration from the White House to the World Bank and through to the Chinese embassy, demonstrating against the World Bank giving a loan to the Chinese government of 160 Million Dollars or so to finance a population transfer of Chinese people to a certain remote area of Tibet. The International Campaign for Tibet also had a function side by side with that. There was also the Tibetan Alliance doing another thing. So there were three or four things happening in Washington all together. A number of people were sitting in front of the World Bank for 24 hours. The Tibetan Alliance was doing that and a lot of us said, ‘We should go there’. There were only white Americans there, not a single Tibetan. Some of us went there briefly. But they succeeded. The World Bank changed the plan. The American government supported the Tibetan case. Then Japan switched and came on board and through that the Tibetan Alliance succeeded. That is a good thing. But who knows what is going on anyway. They are supposed to have achieved something. (laughs).

Now I think we have to continue with verse 7.

Verse 7

Having found its fuel of mental unhappiness

In the prevention of what I wish for

And in the doing of what I do not want,

Hatred increases and then destroys me.

This is interesting. Unhappiness and worry makes hatred grow. I don’t know if this translation really conveys the message or not. It is like when you want to have a strong human being. If you don’t eat, you are not going to be strong at all. If you worry about getting too fat and don’t eat at all, you are not going to be strong at all. When you try to overcome any difficulties and illnesses, and if you are not strong, it will be very difficult. It does not have to be meat, but you have to have food. Likewise, hatred or any other of the negative emotions, need to be fed. If you don’t feed them, they are also going to be weak. The food of hatred is dislike. Disliking yourself, your own deeds, disliking people around you, this is real food for hatred and makes it strong.

Mental unhappiness is about me and my circle. When I was giving this talk in the Washington Conference, somebody asked, ‘Where are all these sufferings coming from?’ I didn’t have much time. For the first talk with Thurman we had 45 minutes. But the second time I was together with Professor Thurman, GesheLobsang Tenzin and a Kargyü abbot and we had one hour between all of us. The time was very limited. So when that lady asked, ‘Where are all these sufferings coming from?’ I said, ‘Me, me, me!’. Thurman interjected and said, ‘Rinpoche has said that he has created all the sufferings of yours!’ So then I had to explain more. Actually I wanted to make it really short. Me Me Me creates My My My and that brings My happiness, My likes and My dislikes, My friends, My sufferings. So it is actually all the creation of the Ego, rather than the real Me. I am going to make an honest statement, you may not like it. But truly speaking, we are not at the level of being able to differentiate between Me and my ego. The moment we refer to Me, the projection we get is the ego and the acknowledger is the ego. You label that as Me. But there is a big difference between Me and my ego, and we don’t know that yet. That is why everything we do at this moment is creating and strengthening and worrying about more of my ego. If you are worried about your ego, that means that you are afraid that your ego will get hurt. Actually, when your ego is hurt that is very good. It is wonderful to hurt your ego. But it is so painful for us. We don’t realize that only our Ego has been hurt. We experience, ‘I have been hurt’. This is because we don’t understand the distinction between those two. When we are afraid that our ego may get hurt, we would like to protect it. The ego is worried that ‘Me and my circle will have some suffering.’ So you dislike what the ego dislikes. You are afraid of getting that. Ego’s desires may not be fulfilled. There may be obstacles or obstructions. That is the dislike I mentioned earlier. More or less, all our dislikes are like that.

Our dislikes are rarely coming from good thoughts, like disliking capital punishment or the creation of the atomic bomb. Likewise, interventions in the human race by scientific methods: We don’t like that. But do we worry about it? Probably not. We are not losing any sleep over it. But we do lose our sleep if our ego is getting hurt. So when this verse talks about unhappiness and dislike that is what it is talking about. That dislike is actually the food for your hatred. It feeds your anger and your hatred. That is the mental unhappiness the verse is talking about.

What will happen if that ego of yours is becoming big and strong? Who will it destroy? The Me. I am completely smashed and suppressed by my ego. Therefore I only know my ego. We have the problem of distinguishing between ourself and our ego, because the ego is so dominating. So if you feed your ego more, it will destroy you. The verse says, ‘Hatred increases and then destroys me’, meaning, that hatred makes the ego strong and then the ego will destroy me. So where did all that come from? Me. Who creates the suffering? It is Me. And who can make a difference? It is Me.

Nagarjuna has said,

I am my own protector, who else can help me?

Nagarjuna’s disciple Chandrakirti said,

First the Me comes up and there is big, strong attachment to Me.

Then from that comes Mine. These two cause me untold suffering.

Through that I go up and down in the cycle of samsara

Like a bucket in a well.

That is why you have to have compassion for yourself

[I bow down to that compassion for living beings

Who from first conceiving ‘I’ with respect to the self,

Then thinking ‘This is mine’ and generating

Attachment for things,

Are without self-control like the spinning of a well.

(Madhyamakavatara, Ocean of Nectar, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso) ]

You know, they used to have the old-fashioned wells in which you would let a bucket go down on a rope to pick up the water. When you let the can go down, it will do so without any difficulty because of gravity. However, when you have to pull the full can up, you have to apply a lot of effort.

You know when you fight an opponent who is holed up somewhere you try to cut their supply, so they will be hungry and they will have to come up. That is how you destroy anger and hatred too. Stop feeding them!

A lot of people ask, ‘How can I handle my anger?’ It is very difficult to answer that individually. It is hard to say it into somebody’s face. You can’t just tell them, ‘Don’t think so much about yourself.’ That would be rather unkind and may increase that person’s anger, rather than decreasing it. But in a public talk like this, we can definitely say it. Then it is up to the individuals whether they take the message to heart or let it go into the waste paper basket.

The way we do things here is very interesting. We don’t force you to do anything. No one can force anyone to do something that they don’t want to do. But we are here to give you information. Whether you want to take the information to heart and help yourself or flush it down the toilet is up to you. I think that is what it is.

In Jewel Heart we don’t do organized meditation periods. People come and do meditation. There are people to show you how to do it, but we don’t carry around sticks to hit you on the back with when you fall asleep. Talking about that: I think it was during one of His Holiness’s talks when somebody who was close to a microphone fell asleep and started snoring. It was coming through the microphone.[laughs]

Verse 8

Therefore I should totally eradicate

The fuel of this enemy;

For this enemy has no other function

Than that of causing me harm.

Now you know what makes the anger grow and makes the hatred strong. You have to destroy the cause, the fuel, of this hatred. So the dislikes of the ego really develops the hatred and anger. One should definitely recognize and acknowledge that. Then, even if you get that unhappiness you will not freak out as much as you would otherwise. That is actually causing the ego harm. Even by knowing that alone you can think differently. When you don’t think that, anything which happens to you that you don’t want, will cause you great suffering. If your plane connection does not work out, you will think, ‘Oh, I am so unlucky, my things will not move, why am I having all this trouble one after another?’ Especially those of us who try to do a little spiritual practice will say, ‘I am doing my spiritual practice, and I should not have this kind of trouble, so why is this happening to me?’ But of course you will have those troubles, obviously, because you are helping yourself. You are cutting your enemy, the ego, you are undermining your enemy, the ego, you are challenging your enemy, the ego. And if you don’t have any trouble with that, then you are never going to have any trouble! It is obvious, you are bound to have trouble. And then, for example, Ram Dass says, ‘My stroke is my guru Nim Karoli Baba’s blessing.’ He says that everywhere, the moment he opens his mouth. And he believes it. It is like he prayed for it. He wanted to write a certain book on old age and suffering and wanted some experience. [laughs]. He was hesitating, not sure what to write and the editor was already on his back. So he was praying for some experience and suddenly he notice that numbness coming on and he found himself half paralyzed. I am making a joke. It was a coincidence. So don’t take it seriously. But the point I am making is how he sees the stroke as his guru’s blessing.

We will not. We will probably freak out. So when you challenge your ego and think about the ego and the Me as almost two different beings, even raising a doubt about it, it makes a big difference to the individual. When I say ‘big difference’, you may think that in term of ‘great comfort’, but no. That is not what we are looking for. You are looking for a great leap in your spiritual journey. You can bring yourself much closer to your own ultimate goal. Without the ego experiencing suffering it is impossible to overcome its manipulation. As long as we cannot overcome our ego’s manipulation, there is no liberation, absolutely no liberation at all. We say that we have to liberate ourselves from negative emotions, but the negative emotions are the production of our ego. The first of the Three Principles is called Seeking Freedom, which is freedom from negative emotions. Actually it is the freedom from the control of our own ego. If you don’t have ego, you won’t have anger, you won’t have hatred. You will not have attachment, you will not have jealousy. You will really be free of those. That is the beginning of happiness. Bodhisattvas at the level of the Third Path, get freedom. Remember, sometimes we call that freedom City of Joy. It is because of overcoming the ego. That is why the food for the ego should be destroyed. It is the right thing to do. It is what we should do.

Then the question rises: Why should you hate your hatred? What is wrong with it? Why is hatred so bad? Naturally, you should hate your hatred, because it is what destroys the cause of all your happiness and makes you suffer all the time. The mission of the hatred is to destroy you. Shantideva says in verse 8:

For this enemy has no other function than that of causing me harm.

In other words, the job of hatred is to destroy you, make sure that you remain under your ego’s control, so that your suffering continues. Your journey will never end. You will be made to go round and round again and again, drop down to the lower realms with great ease and then you have to work up your way again with so much difficulty and effort, after which you will zoom down again. That is the job of the hatred and that is why we should hate hatred. Got it? That is what this particular verse tells you. Those negative emotions are our enemies. Either they hold us back or they pull us away and throw us off the track, or they create obstacles and among them all, hatred is the worst. It is like the fire that consumes all the trees in Southern California or Florida.

We got a couple of messages today. One is that Me and My Ego are two separate things. We don’t know that yet, because our ego has completely overpowered us. That is why there seems to be no separation. Lets say there is a short-tempered father who always likes to yell at his kid. He makes the kid do exactly what he wants him to do and the kid follows. Sometimes the kid doesn’t even know what to think and is only made to act according to the instructions of the father. Maybe I am using a bad example here.

Lets say you have a dog and you want to train him to do only what you want him to do. Some people think it is wonderful that if you raise your hand, your dog will act. But through that it will also lose the independent faculty of making decisions. If you are like that you totally depend on somebody else to make a decision. Many of us will behave like that. Many of you will be happy if I tell you, ‘Do this, don’t do this!’, because you don’t have to think. But many of you also don’t like that, because you don’t want to lose your independence. But in relation to the ego that is exactly what happens. The ego completely controls me so that I can’t think. We are at that level. The vividness of my own expression is completely gone. It is the ego who is doing everything. We don’t see ourselves separate from the ego. Ego is the creator of suffering. When I lose control to my ego, it will continuously go on to produce the cause of suffering, making sure that I remain under its control all the time, constantly and continuously. And if you don’t help yourself, who can help you? I mentioned earlier, You are your own protector, who else can protect you? No one. The way you are protecting yourself is by reducing the power of the ego. How do you do that? You cut the food out. Cut off the supply.

Therefore it is important for us not to entertain disliking things. We have to stop our mind from entertaining disliking, worrying.

Verse 9

Whatever befalls me,

I shall not disturb my mental joy;

For having been made unhappy,

I shall not accomplish what I wish

And my virtue will decline.

That means that from today you have to commit yourself: Whatever may happen, I will not let my good mind, my peaceful mind, be disturbed. I will not like to disturb the peace of my mind. I will protect that. I only say peace.

How do I lose that? Through entertaining dislike. It is obvious. If you keep on worrying about something and thinking about it, as a consequence you are going to lose peace of mind, you will become unhappy. Naturally, it is the mental faculty of dislike which is occupying you.

Remember, I have given you the example many times: The mind is just like a clean, clear crystal lamp shade – although it is not tangible and has no color. But the emotions are like light bulbs in the lamp shade, some green, some red, some blue, some yellow. Then, if you look from the distance it looks like there is a yellow lamp shade, or a green lamp shade, a red lamp shade, etc. This is because of the effect of those emotions. Dislike changes the nature of the mind itself from pure, clean, crystal, wonderful into a [murky, distorted, painful, confused mind].

End of side A of tape 99

Side B of tape 99 of 7/11/00

How does that happen? It is because when you entertain the negative emotions, they will grow bigger and bigger. If you don’t entertain them they will not be able to occupy that much space within your mind. They will not influence you that much. But there is another important point: If I don’t pay attention to them, but one of them comes up, then what do I do? At this moment you have to commit yourself, no matter whatever the conditions may be, not to entertain the dislike. In the commentary of the Bodhisattvacharyavatara it says,

The happiness of the mind is the direct opponent to the unhappiness in the mind.

Bodhisattvas should be able to think, ‘It is okay if somebody wants to cut my head off, but I am not going to have unhappiness in my mind.’ That is how Buddha advised the Bodhisattvas. It is better to have your head cut off than to entertain dislike and unhappiness in the mind. In a way it is true. Your life is going to change. You are not going to disappear. I am coming from the background of a reincarnated lama. So you don’t disappear. You reappear, younger, more cute, with a more flexible body, with less fat. That is why it is said that for Bodhisattvas it should be easier to have their heads cut off than to entertain unhappiness. So no matter what happens to you, let it happen. Why entertain dislikes? It is just going to add up additional suffering. You will not only have the physical suffering that is happening anyway, but on top of that you add up more suffering mentally. Isn’t whatever is happening enough? Do you want more pain? Go ahead then. But if you remain calm and happy, then no matter what is happening to you will not be that harmful. Your suffering will be much less. Even if you worry about it and keep entertaining your disliking mind, the things that are not working out are not going to work out anyway. Worrying will not change anything. On top of that you will develop anger and you will lose your virtue.

It is a war between the positive and the negative. It is like a chess game. The anger is the queen of the dark side of the chess game. So if you want to entertain the queen of the opposite side, go ahead and have a lot of anger. You are submitting yourself to the control of the queen of the other side. But then, what should we do?

Chandrakirti said that we should not have attachment to that little bit of joy here and there and not worry so much about the little bit of suffering that we experience here and there. If you think about that, it will shake you up. If you don’t think so much you will regard it as a good insight. Our normal, usual way of thinking and functioning is just the opposite. To tell you the truth, if you really want to have happiness within you, you have got to go through this, you have got to understand this.

Then, of course, what is happiness? Be happy, be happy, what is that? Each and everyone should ask yourself, what projection do you get when you think happiness? I can almost assure you that among the hundred people in here there will be a hundred different projections of happiness. Everybody will have a different answer. We know we are here to find happiness. But think about it, what are you looking for? Many people will say, ‘Peace, harmony, etc’. Not so many people will go after money. Many have already given that up in the sixties, didn’t they? I will not give you the answer today. I want to give you the opportunity to think, ‘What does happiness mean to you?’ Don’t hide behind words. We do that. We say, ‘I want peace and harmony and nothing to worry about’. You get all kinds of funny things. But try to translate these words into deeds, actions, functions and think about it. I think the Buddhists have their own way of translating happiness.

Verse 10

Why be unhappy about something

If it can be remedied,

And what is the use of being unhappy about something,

If it cannot be remedied?

Isn’t there a Christian prayer that says something similar?

Aud: Change the things you can change

Accept the things you cannot change;

Wisdom will know the difference.

R: So you surrender.

Aud: I think St. Francis said this.

R: In Buddhism you are responsible for yourself. I don’t know if this is the best translation. Can somebody read to me the Oxford translation of this verse?

Aud:

If there is a solution, then what is the point of dejection,

And what is the point of dejection if there is no solution?

R: I don’t know which one is better, but the main message is: Be happy. Don’t worry. Isn’t there a song about that? So if there is something you can do that will make a difference, then do it, don’t keep on thinking and worrying, sitting there like paralyzed. Also, if there is nothing that can be done, don’t torture yourself more. In other words: Don’t worry, be happy. If we entertain worry and dislike we will only create additional suffering for ourselves. We are born as human beings and therefore we are bound to have some sufferings. Our plane may not go through, something else pops up. You plan this way, but it happens that way. We need to know how to handle that and make the best use of it. Here it means to make that part of your path, use it to cut down your negative emotions. Build up a force behind you to help you reach liberation, rather than submitting to suffering and pain. Don’t let your unhappiness and dislike run your life or even ruin your life. It happens in life. But that is not the end of your life. Sufferings and dislikes, not having our wishes fulfilled, pop up all the time. Don’t blame yourself, don’t blame others. Acknowledge it, let it go and don’t submit, don’t entertain them. It is very easy for me to sit here and say all this, but it is very difficult for each and everyone of us to carry on according to these words. We think, ‘If I am not going to worry, who is going to worry?’ But on the other hand, will worrying about it really help? Maybe not. Look for something to do, a remedy. If there is nothing, don’t torture yourself. I guess that’s it. I have nothing more to say and I would like to close shop.

End of side B of tape 99 of 07/11/00