Archive Result

Soundfile 20130323GRJHNYInventory

Speaker Gelek Rimpoche

Location New York

Topic Inventory

Transcriber Jill Neuwirth

Date 3/28/2022

… Necessarily clearly emphasized during the teachings. I think that is one thing. Like, really. What is all this about it? What have been doing? This, what we call it, dharma practice that we devoted so much of our energy time, efforts, everything we put in. What it is and why we are doing it? And I mean, really, it is very strange sometimes it sounds like a Sarah Palin and who are- and who are we and what are doing here? (Laughs) What is, is it all about it, you know? And it's a funny, you know. And I thought that is one thing we also need to talk. And another thing when you’re looking at you, many of you been a number of years with me. Many of you over thirty years. And taking a lot of your time, effort, energy, everything putting in that, banking on it, on something that we hope something very beneficial for our self. For the well-being of all others and all that. And so sort of how far did we really reach? That’s somehow we have to, to, to look at and take it stock. [0:02:38.7] And then sometimes many things that you may, you may want ask lot of questions. Some will make sense, some may not make sense. Some we may have some help, some we may not have. But I think it is also these are the things we need to do. So these are the on the, on my, agenda. And so, so basically, you know, a lot of us devoted our total life for this practice. Not necessarily this practice, but any spiritual practice. And do we recognize what is our goal? Do we recognize where we are, who are we.

[0:03:56.3] And where are we going? So I think, though we talk that all the time, but then very specifically, we talk with the level we go. But do we sometimes we may lose the basic simple, very simple thing. Very simple thing. And it also complicated. Like simple but I’m try to think the simple question, who am I? (Laughs) Sorry. You know, I- the who am I, picture- remember there was an election during the Ross Perot and Clinton and Bush and there was a Vice President from the bureau side, Vice President Tibet, some guy came up there, say, who am I? (Laughs) That’s the basic question I’m trying to raise here, those saying, who am I? (Laughs) and what we’re doing, and what am I hope to get? I think that’s- I hope I’m not being too naïve, you know, so, but too naïve to raise that question to you. But on the other hand I think it is also something we may have to think about it. And when I’m begin to think who am I, don’t recognize myself, I’m sorry. (Laughs) That’s really funny, you know? Funny, you know? When you look at who am I? Just don’t think of other people, turned away, it’s you yourself alone in the wherever you are, and turn the question to yourself saying, who am I? And really strange. Is there somebody who will acknowledge that’s me? And that’s the funny question. And so when you see- you know one good thing I can talk that, because luckily these are not broadcast these days everywhere, wherever I talk, it is a subject they’re go on the broadcast all the time. So then you really have to be you know, the here [0:06:57.1] with a room full of people we can talk whatever we want to but when it goes out electronically then somewhere down the road, you know, it will funny so, but, since this is not broadcast, you know we talk about it.

[0:07:19.0] And then whatever you ask question, it remains within that, the hopefully they must be recording something, but hopefully the people who, if anybody making a transcript or something, probably they’ll think it is silly thing, they throw it out. And so it doesn’t come out in somewhere, you know, writing. So this is what- I’m trying to look who am I? And I can’t really find it. Of course we’ll say, yes, that’s me. Yeah, but that doesn’t answer. So that very question, very base for which we say improving, bring that itself we have to think about that thing. And also we somehow there is a because since we don’t have all the time, right? So, so just going to say it. Somehow we have to learn and satisfied that combination of the- try to, try not to use the terminology like aggregates and skandhas and all that, but is part and parcel of me whatever it is, you know, so combination of that along with the consciousness, somehow we have to be able to satisfy to say “me.” And also be able to accept that is the changing nature. The change is so much, sort of every, every moment, not just every minute, but just every moment this changing. And that changing also has a, while changing, it is continuing. While continuing it is changing. And then there’s a big change. Bigger change called birth, death. It is sort of, this time it’s much bigger change. Because part of those aggregates, all of them are changing.

[0:10:53.1] Yet, continuing. And the consciousness, the awareness, the alertness, acknowledgment, perception, projection, all of them continuing. Yet, the individual remains the same. Same who is experiencing the whatever, joy, suffering, whatever, the person who experience. Which sometimes, it is most of the time, it is contaminated. While I’m coming here today, in the car, Philip’s talking to Carol, I was listening. And somehow the conversation went and Philip says, I’m- I was asleep for a long time. I was not awake. And then somehow he interpreted that and say, when the Buddha said I’m awakened it means very big answer. Sort of my thought- somebody asked me, is that right? I said, I hope so, or something. I don’t know, whatever I said, something. My thoughts really going at that time, you know, so it’s really true. This is this really a dream state that we’ve been passing through. And that is the really, that’s why they say everything is like a dream. And this is a dream. (Coughs) Excuse me. So when you try to get who the really, who the really hell is me, these are the thoughts. And I’m quite sure every one of you have a different idea. Sometimes you know when they say your body’s not you, but you are this, this blah, blah, blah. Looks like a philosopher talking or I don’t know, whatever. Some crazy guy talking, whatever it is. But it is absolutely true. I mean, my face is not me. My nose is not me, that’s for sure.

[0:14:53.3] (Speaks to audience) So I think that’s two things. One, this is just all pieces and bits and pieces all just mumbled jumbled lumped together. And two, to be able to satisfy the recognize and that’s me. And three, moving this. Moving that. Moving that. And now when we say moving, moving from where to where? All of those are the thing. And I think the, this is a, this is strange. We always think about it, moving from a worse place to a better place. Some people thinks that. Some may be thinking, it’s not necessarily a moving, but changing. Yes, it’s changing all the time. But a changing to betterment. A better management, better organized. Better functioning. I don’t know. So what we’re told is there is something called Buddha stage, or stage of enlightenment. Actually, when you look in this, when you look and think and when you do, it is a tremendous amount of detailed, very complicated yet very simple stages and looks like the individual’s traveling through, and sort of getting from here to there, but I don’t know whether it’s the individual’s going or the change is coming. So one thing for sure, one thing for sure is, for sure is this, there’s definitely our mental state was a very definitely controlled and influenced and totaled, really totally influenced and controlled by those anger, hatred, what you call it negative emotions. And then that state definitely free of that. And enlightenment, total enlightenment may be little bit of long shot for all of us. I mean, if I say that my Buddhist friends may probably think he's gone crazy. And I don’t know, maybe they’d be upset. But, but if this negative free thoughts, pure state, and the pure is also pure, what harmony what type of purity, but that is very definitely there.

[0:19:58.2] And so all our efforts, all my efforts for me has been moving that mind of mine or other whether it’s going that way or it’s coming this way, whatever it is. And states of this mental state is changing. And sort of more pacifying, peaceful state and a more harmony and more gentle, more, kinder, more care. And all that. And I think it’s comes from all, all the sides. Not only from the what we call it spiritual practice side. But also the culture and also the culture and society and company. People who you hang around. People who you talk to and I believe that’s called, maybe you call that environmental influence. So whatever. So the change within the individual is very true, very (?) [0:21:48.9] Very (?) And people can make a better. And that is very definitely. And when the mind becomes in that pure state, better state and that much reduction of negative emotion, that much reduction of negative deeds, and that much reduction of negative karma, that much reduction of suffering. And these are the true, we can literally see it now. I mean, doesn’t need to have some kind of meditative insight to be able to see that. We can very definitely see it. And that itself is, I think, our doorway to get in. And then thereafter things that we talk about it you know, that understanding of that reduces, makes intact (?) [0:23:40.4] that ego-grasping point which is really supposed to be what even labeled as ignorance traditionally. Somehow within the road somewhere decided to call that ignorance. But those people it is absolutely true is ignorance. However, for us it’s not ignorance. For us it is real. It is real life. It’s me. It is the real life. Everybody else might not make sense. But this is one who really makes sense, that’s me. But somebody on the road decided to call that an ignorance. So, so it becomes task how it is ignorance. Perhaps that’s the whole point. However, I can’t figure out why it is whole point.

[0:25:16.3] I think these are the reasons what is this spiritual practice is all about it. No one doubts whether there’s Buddha or not. I think somehow we accept. That acceptance is, is it an ignorance or is it intelligence acceptance? And can see, we can see very clearly that we are making improvement. And when you see we are making improvement, how much we can improve, how far we can go? And when we started tracing that, at end of that we may get whatever we call that, enlightenment or Buddhahood or whatever. And so perhaps that’s supposed to be our goal and we’re not really clear what our goal really is and yet we’re struggling for that. (Laughs) And when we put lot of efforts and put all that and I think we try to get a little bit. But everybody can say my goal is to become Buddha. Yeah but, that’s what at least for me I was taught. Like you know little kid, when they teach the parrot to say something with nuts so I can say that same thing. But it has to be a little better than that for me. So when I’m begin to think and started tracing, so I mean it’s all- I’m not talking about what the teachings say, what the history or whatever, what the Buddha say, all that, I’m not talking about that. I mean you do read the books, when you read, listen to the teachings and there’s so many of those, there’s zillions of qualities they talk about. But when you try to think within our own mind capacity you know, when this has to match. Otherwise, we’ll be simply holding on something to say it, and then simply we’re holding to something to say it and believe it and trust it and praying it is, these are not the ignorance. And there’s a no, I’m sorry but, there’s no way of knowing, it’s just simple belief. Or I guess we call this faith system for maybe probably that’s why it’s called faith-oriented or whatever.

[0:29:44.6] But as an intelligent human being, we have to know little more than that. So the improvements we’re getting, how far we can go? Where is the limit, we’re not reaching to that limit, to that limit yet. Perhaps little far away. But there’s continuously betterment. So perhaps that is the reason why they call that Path of No More Learning. Buddhahood is also called Path of No More Learning. So that is probably what it is. Right? We’re not trying to become God, we’re not trying to become- we try to become something that we could, and probably that’s, that’s what it is. So you ask yourself question, what you hope to gain, what you’re hoping, what you’re looking for? Just don’t say it. If you say it in maybe small group here so nobody would like to say anything what you really think if I won’t say who that or something (Laughs) But you know, what does that mean, truly? So that’s what I thought, it’s like Sarah Palin asking question but maybe makes sense. And what I may think that this Saturday Night Live last night I saw on TV somebody copying the Sarah Palin thing, and they gave her answer say, if there’s more gun and if everybody have gun they’ll be no more gun to be sold or sell (Laughs) Very few available or something. So the funny way of t hey think, right? And so silly way of think, but don’t think everybody gets shot (Laughs) There’s no more buying person. (Laughs) But you know, so anyway, if you think in that lines, I thought about that that way. If you think the other way around and try to be to be a naïve, and try to be innocent, and try to move in that way. And if you move in that way, it may contribute something to what we talk about Buddha and this and that. And, but don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying there’s no Buddha. Some people may think that way, but it’s not.

[0:33:36.1] This is very interesting. Buddhism is such a great thing, you know. You can make it holy, and pray, and wonderful and all that, one way. Another way is seriously think, seriously go about it, and looks like His Holiness is asking everybody to think seriously. And when you think seriously, you may, sometimes you may think very stupid, naïve way, and then maybe, at least we can see here, this improvement is day by day we see improvement in individual. Even person who is learning something and you can see the improvement. Knowledge is improvement that’s the habit of individual is improves, has improved, we have that, right? So the how far that can go? And then it’s really supposed to go ‘til to the total enlightenment, this No More Learning they call it. I mean there’s something called No More. So maybe sort of reaching point where you’re going, no more place to go, no more you know, more, no more to learn that means. Not sort of educational learning. It is the quality of the individual peaking (?) [0:35:17.6] So probably and then when you have that point somewhere, someplace, sometime, that we will get begin to established our goal. Otherwise, we’ll become goal-less and miss simple wishing. Simple wishing, praying. Wishing, and think about positive, think about happy, and think about it, but any thoughts because also wanted to really they want the change that they do discussion. Yeah? Fredricka. Audience: (Inaudible) [0:36:32.3] For a long time I was really afraid about the whole concept of aiming to become Buddha. It seems so outrageous to think that I could do that. And then I realized if I was taking a long trip and I set my goal over there, I may not make it there but I’d probably make it further than if I was trying to only go three miles. So it makes sense to me to set that as a goal because then I would constantly be reaching further and what I have found this past few years, is the negative emotions have decreased so much. I rarely get a glimpse of feeling of being totally connected to all that exists, but sometimes I can feel this heat in my body and around me, and this joy, and I think it’s such a wonderful practice to keep returning to the presence of this moment and finding out where my mind is, and I can now see when I start to aim off in a direction that I know is going to bring me suffering. I know it. So a lot of what I used to think of as improving myself, was just a way to deny what was happening in my life, or in the world around me, so that I could go aiming off to fix it, and then it would always bring me suffering. Every effort to get better rather than knowing where I was at the moment, which is not knowing at all. That’s so crazy. Basically, for me, my head is a very insane place to be in. It’s absolutely- it’s a useful tool for getting certain things done, but if I follow it, this afternoon, I mean this morning, I totally crashed my computer because I was fixing something and that’s when I go into a crash, whenever I try to fix things now. And I think that is a beautiful thing my karma gotten so fast. Because then I go, Oh! Right, right, or bad! (Audience laughs) [0:39:27.1] (Inaudible) That’s all I’m thinking about tonight. Thank you and so happy to be with you right now, Rimpoche. Rimpoche: Thank you.

[0:39:32.6] It’s interesting, right? Audience: It’s beautiful in a sense. Rimpoche: Right. So I really wanted to say yeah, we are taught, yeah Buddhahood is my goal. But then you know we really have to have a something that we can reach. My picture changed, you know, I mean it’s not that, it’s not that I’m never going to reach there, but where is going to end it? And sort of looking for the end and then sort of going until it reaches there. And when we say, when the normal usual Tibetan Buddhism, particularly Tibetan Buddhism who said the Buddhahood. The others I don’t think they say much about it, for the benefit of all beings, I’d like to become Buddha, blah, blah, blah. Don’t say much. And so when we’re saying that and sort of that, the mind has to comprehend something, say what we’re going to comprehends is the not something that you’re projecting, otherwise you have to say, Oh- there’s something called Buddhahood somewhere way over there and I wanted t o get. And that is not really comprehensive, it is simply following a projection that follows the word. Word that said Buddha. So we projected something, and we try to catch the meaning of the word and thinking it is somewhere around there. But in your mind sensible thing, what you get is the continued improvement and wherever it is going to be (Inaudible) [0:41:48.4] sign says no more, you know, no more learning. So at least sense a little better. And we can understand that by improving our negative emotions. And that really makes a very tangible thing within our self. We can feel it, we can see it, and that makes it real. And then again, it is not always permanent and certain you’re going to go to one direction. It will reverse. It goes back. Goes back, that’s for sure. Goes back. And when it goes back sometimes, well I lost, it makes me feel I lost, I’ve been able to maintain that for years but now again I lost. I don’t think we lost anything. The point is we did not, we made the progressive, but it is it is not deep enough. It is not deep enough. The progress is, progress is made but progress is made, I don’t want to say superficially, but better than superficial, it’s real. However not deep enough it does not meet way it’s not going to reverse. That because of the word what we use the contaminated. The basic contamination when it still remains with us and then this reversing thing is there.

[0:44:22.2] Reversing again does not necessarily mean it’s like beginning of it. Want to make the progress, and then reach a some kind of little peaceful place, when you reverse that and never made progress before, and certainly it’s a big difference. Big difference. So, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I’m sorry. (Audience laughs) Honestly. I think that’s the difference there. Otherwise, some people may think, yeah it is… Buddhist- Tibetan Buddhism uses some kind of language and terminology they call it, they call it influence, impact of ego and self-grasping. And they say as long as you have that sort of stain and it is reversible. Its becomes unreversible when you remove that stain completely. Perhaps that’s why they talk about this wisdom emptiness, seeing directly or something. Like a person to person, eye to eye, you know. Seeing directly. That’s probably wiped out all the imprints. This is, I’m mixing up with the theory and philosophy, but that was supposed to be the point where that unreversible will get. Until then, reversing. When you have those little reversing comes, and it becomes very important for the individual, it’s not that freedom reversed or liberation reversed to know that. Because it is the otherwise some- another thing happens.

[0:48:21.3] So the goal. And also you’re right, we don’t get over there is there a lot of stages you get in between. I believe there’s a lot of those things, too. Then another question comes, you know, we have this, most of us have those yidam practice. And what are they, how is it, and what really is, and we take opportunity, right? And we take opportunity when something’s happening and we say, ah, it’s great opportunity let’s take it. And then the question will come what it is? Why it is? All of those. Another totally point we have to say. It is strange. During the, many of you, during this last Lama Chopa teaching, when was it? (Laughs) Audience: February. End of February and first few days of March. Rimpoche: Yeah we spent, what, almost eleven days or twelve days or something, and we begin to- I don’t whether you recognize or not, but we begin to see what a lama is all about it, right? It’s not a person, not a being (?) [0:50:26.0] it very, very strange. It is a, I don’t know, it is a bag full of goodies are there called lama, right? Honestly. So, that’s sort of basically goes the same thing for the yidams. Though for lama physically you made it is different beings and put in different physical level and it really become bag full of beings, but yidams, unless there’s a body mandala, it is the one, one individual person. One individual person. But then, what it is? And what has that got to do with me? Why this, why not that? Or maybe all of them, and what does that make difference to me? And all of those questions.

[0:52:02.7] Why should I have it? What makes it difference? If I don’t have it, did I miss something. What did I miss? Yeah you miss something, that’s fine. Easy for say. But what did I really miss? Or these are another point of question those vajrayana practitioners has to put on top of what is practices all about it, and then plus that we have to think all of those, and then we really seeing what we’ve been doing. Take a stock back, what did I do for thirty years, where did I reach? How much is it maturity of my age and experience, how much it is part of this practice is what, and all of those you’ve got to take the stock. And you know, what this business people call inventory taking? Right? So they count their things how much sold, how much cash, how much loss, how much gain, and they provide the balance sheet. And I think we need to provide that too. Otherwise, you know, we may just boom, boom, boom. It is shooting the arrow in the forest going wherever it’s going, boom. (Inaudible) [0:53:57.6] Must be hit somewhere. It won’t work. So need to take. These are the individual responsibilities. And then reversing back, look at your own age and then look back, even Dimitri is getting older. (Audience laughs) Right? So, yeah. Honestly. Look back. (Speaks to audience) So I think you’ve got to reverse sort of really take stock and analyze. It is talking, talking, talking, talking, learning, learning, learning, reading, reading, say blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That’s one thing. What did you do, how much you do, can we do it easier? Is there something more to be done, and all that type, and all this. I think it’s part of space (?) [0:55:36.9] practice. Not necessarily always sitting and meditating. Yes, you can meditate on that, go back and see how much did I have any- everybody will have improvement and many of them are due to your age and maturity too. And don’t get mixed up with that and label as spiritual improvement, no. So make sure that, you know, look at other person like your same age, your same thing. And that person and you, and then see is there difference. Then you begin to know is or is not there.

[0:56:29.9] So if it’s not there, maybe we wasted a lot of time. Maybe you don’t want to waste any more. Or if it’s there, maybe you want improve better because you don’t have many time left. And you know the time what you left is always lesser and shorter, you know, shorter. I think we’re sort of used to it to count thirty or forty more years coming. But then after a little while you realize there’s not going to be thirty more years, there’s not going to be twenty more years, you’re lucky if there is five or ten more years you know sort of thing. And then you take a stock and looking and see what you can do better. Or maybe you need not to do anything. Or is there something to do? So this sort of like you know, even the business people they do auditing work. They look through and audit and they read, like you do have to do yourself that thing. So sort of things like that I thought we just openly talk about it. Yes, Ben?

[0:58:03.9] Audience: So Rimpoche, something I wanted to ask you. I find that vajrayana practice has been extremely useful to me in a somewhat different way than I’ve learned it from you. It opened up the door to exploring negative emotions in a way that is (Audio skips) [0:58:27.4] provides a controlled substrate for thinking about attachment and anger in a universe where I think there are elements that allow me to work through that by actually thinking more deeply about these yidams and these buddhas like Vajrayogini in particular for this conversation and attachment and excessive desire or obsession. And I find Vajrayogini a good element trope to work on that individually in my own way which is different than the formal sadhana. And as you know I’ve told you these sadhanas that go (Inaudible) [0:59:21.0] elements are really hard for me to (Audio skips) I’ve appreciated learning them and they have been important, important symbolically for me because the symbols have great power for me personally as I do the practice. But I find that I’m not attracted to the practice as much having done it many times as I am to the, let’s say the elements for me that are behind the practice that actually allow in some strange way a safer exploration of negative emotions than I could (Audio skips) [0:59:53.7] structure in place. And so I feel on the one hand guilty, not guilty really, but because (Audio skips) because I’ve done this with decision making, to not do the formal practice, but rather to take the elements that I’ve personally gotten from the formal practice and put them into my mind and explore that as part of my personal practice here. And it has to do with (Audio skips) [1:00:29.9] my rational sense but more to get into the irrational part of my own mind, and use this as a safe way of walking down in a rational path for me, with some type of contained structure. That may sound like complete gibberish but I thought I would mention it to you because it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while.

[1:00:48.3] Rimpoche: When I, when you think about the word sadhana that’s the structure we have, sadhana. The word sadhana I think it’s really truly means self-generation. The true point for me, it is using (Audio skips) [1:01:33.5] those elements, the meaning, I don’t want to say message, even. The meaning for self individual to be able to achieve the goals, but that doesn’t mean the goals just by means either. But I think that is why sadhana is structure was, you’re right, it is very primitive thing because it was, I think the it was the point when you really have the Vajrayogini practice begin in India and with Naropa and all that place, I don’t think there is such a structure of sadhana what we use today. Like in the case of Vajrayogini, we use like eleven yogas, right? Those eleven yogas are structure that put by the half Indian and half Tibetan earlier teachers to making sure that everyone uses everything without forgetting any single part, put them in the words and then they have to find some basis of structuring something. They started using this. It’s when you look at this, when you’re looking at this- we have this big thing going on here, somebody goes and close the door, somebody opened doors (Audience laughs) and I think they needed to open it, and somebody needed to close it and know what it is (Laughs) we have this door going on. Closing and opening and closing and opening, but doesn’t matter. But the, I think the structure is you’re right, that’s actually they did it for that way so that it’s meant for the sort of, really, I have bad habit, excuse me bad habit, but that sort of taking into the account of that individual very dull person who can’t even think straight. And for them this structure of saying the thing was made. Many who get good perfection on the sadhana do not have to say the word. Just sit there and go through. And many don’t even go through, utilize that message, idea, energy. And then also sometimes this mantra part. Mantra part you got to say it. The thing that’s different than sadhana, mantra part is you got to say because it is the word, it is the sound, not the, not the word, but the sound. And that’s why mantra don’t translate and mantra, all of this translation do translate for the meaning to think, but translation was maybe disruption of the sound. So that’s why it never translates.

[1:06:17.0] Whatever the original language it comes maintains in that way. If it’s Sanskrit or Pali or, bishati (?) [1:06:30.7] or whatever the language it did that it comes normal usual everyday language or whatever it doesn’t translate because mantra part. And in the case of the Vajrayogini it is so funny. Just simply saying the mantra alone, no, the other way around- simply saying the mantra alone is good enough direct cause to be able to take rebirth in pure land. So this is something funny, it not funny, but something different it comes along with it. So all of them I think is meant for the individuals to be more effective to some people they can simply say, they can’t even say om, om properly. There are people who can’t say om, om properly, they will say ahhhh. And for them I think it’s enough. And those, when you think of those old Tibetan Sanskrit old stories like that for Tibetans, it is Tibetan mahasiddhi who had some kind of achievement of mantra power to have a dagger pushed through rock and supposed to be chun di (?) [1:08:31.3] mantra. It was supposed to be said om tsali tsuli tsuli soha. Tsali tsuli tsun di soha [1:08:42.1] I think, it’s something like that, and that guy used to say chali chuli choli so doesn’t, doesn’t even say tsa. And for him it’s ch- chali chuli choli soha. And he used the, by saying that mantra he used dagger through rocks or anything its goes through, without hitting anything forces touching it. And then it’s very strange and also belief works for those sort of people. For people like us, little quisitive [1:09:29.4] not very intelligent but very inquisitive. Inquisitive, right? People like us nothing works, but those sort of people who have strong belief, their belief works. And so yet it is another power there to suit for different intellectual capacity people.

[1:10:10.9] Audience: Of course the danger is for fundamentally training our minds with these activities that’s the goal and that’s the practice and the path, so if we change it in any way we really have no idea what the ultimate effect is going to be because we don’t understand the fundamental principles by which these software tools are actually changing our minds in the direction of enlightenment. So we can’t arbitrarily make modifications or change anything and yet- so that’s kind of my understanding of why I persist in this so I’m obviously doing all kinds of strange things to my mind, but whatever I’m doing, but doing what I can make an acceptable for me to actually participate and recognize the power of something like these different vajrayana opportunities. So I recognize the potential danger of it, but I also find it very useful. Rimpoche: Yeah. But I only know what have happened before, right? That’s when they change that, it didn’t work. And then this funny guys also they’ll say, well I said chali chuli before, even now I’m going to say chali chuli all the time. And it works again, so I think whether it’s a belief or I don’t know, something it’s making that happening. When this happens literally on those material thing and probably it happening with the mental state and everywhere else, probably moving the same thing. It’s interesting you used the word software change that. (Laughs) But these are the things to think about. So when we think about it, practice what really means. So far, many people think practice means sit down and breathe, and do nothing, or whatever. Perhaps that’s not about it. And that will have effect for sure, but that’s effects is limited effect I think. So looks like vajrayana tried to sell us something more effective too. And I don’t know how, instructions and advices are sometimes very traditional which means sometimes it’s primitive. Sometimes it’s great, old is gold. Great. But sometimes it is a little, thing, you know. Maybe we need Sarah Palin occasionally helps you. Yeah?

[1:13:46.2] Audience: Rimpoche, as far as mantra recitation, do you have to say the mantra, can we say it in our heads? Rimpoche: What you mean by heads? Audience: Say the mantra in your mind instead of saying it out loud? Does it have to have an actual sound out loud? Rimpoche: Yes. Audience: Okay. Rimpoche: Not out loud, that’s the- you have to have sound. Sound that you be able to hear it. Audience: Well you can hear it in your head, though. Rimpoche: If you hear in head it’s good enough for hearing. And that’s not really have to be hear inside, that means it just go out and get out there and get in, maybe that’s not needed. Not necessary. So depends what you mean out loud, you know. So that if you had said, wow, out from the mouth and hear it back maybe it’s not necessary. But you do have to have sound. You do have to have sound. Even the buzzing sound may be good enough. Zzzzzz. But make sure it doesn’t something else, you know physical and chemical problem in the head (Laughs) and thinking it’s a mantra. That won’t work. I think the next is Carol, but okay go ahead, Dimitri, just behind you.

[1:15:20.6] Audience: Rimpoche, a few years ago I was reading a transcript from you and you were saying the difference with vajrayana and let’s say, you said this many times, saying like I am Napoleon or I am Cleopatra, the difference of doing this practice within the context of vajrayana is that it is actually one day it will become real. We will literally become Yamantaka or Vajrayogini. And I recently heard some research that our thoughts actually can, they detected that our thoughts can shift our DNA, can actually change our physical identity with our minds. So which would seem to corroborate that, that if we continually say and visualize some new identity we’re slowly transforming our physical and mental identity. And so when I’m doing the practice lately I’m thinking, okay I’m sitting here sort of giving myself an endorphin rush by thinking light and liquid is flowing through my body, everything is optimal, all beings are buddhas, everything is pure. And then in a way, there’s nothing spiritual about that because I could be just making myself very healthy and happy and joyful, so then I try to remember to bring in the bodhimind element and think, well I’m doing this to be of service to others. That’s fine. But without the understanding of emptiness, if I’m- maybe I have some little intellectual understanding of emptiness, you know like things exist as part and parcel and cause and effect, or whatever, and terms and conditions, but if I don’t really understand emptiness, and we’re doing these things that sometimes have a very wrathful, powerful things like Yamantaka you know you’re transforming these five meats and nectars and you have very powerful thing. Without really having emptiness first, is there some risk of almost, like a sometimes I’ve felt a power, and I feel like is it possibly a little bit negative because I’m develop this feeling of power, let’s say as Yamantaka, or whatever, whatever yidam that you’re identifying with, very powerful feeling. You’re transforming these incredible substances, you know, you have this powerful energy rising inside yourself, but if you have a little bit of a sense of solid “I”, meaning you don’t have a sense of emptiness, is there kind of a negative risk there that you’re becoming almost like, it is more like a, powerful solid sense of self that’s super exaggerated. And while we can’t wait to really understand emptiness to begin doing vajrayana, what, what’s the solution? I know the usual things, like try to meditate on emptiness and seek the blessings of the lama and so forth, but since this is twenty-five, thirty years into it, there’s not much understanding of emptiness. It’s a long slow process. So depending on how long I live, you know, I don’t know if I’ll really understand emptiness by the time I die. So then I’m like, if I spend fifty or sixty years every day, sort of imagining this extremely powerful identity, and yet I haven’t pulled the carpet out from underneath it by removing the sense of intrinsic existence, is there a risk that I’m kind of like- is it dangerous to be doing this, and how can we mitigate that risk in terms of realistically looking at how difficult it is to really understand emptiness?

[1:18:46.8] Rimpoche: That’s why they tells us, that idea of the influence of emptiness always maintain because I think its balances. And also even you don’t understand it, if we don’t get clear understanding of emptiness, but we have some kind of understanding of emptiness. The idea of solid lump coming from somewhere solid lump standing and functioning is very much shaken in our mind. And there is no solid lump in our mind if you really trace it. It is already made quite big damage in the-